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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I give this information to crime stoppers?

127 replies

Flumpyflumps · 15/09/2013 01:06

Ok, I've just found something alarming out and am in a bit of a tizz.
Back story is I have a history of drug addiction.
Someone I know has started selling cocaine, I found out by accident and clearly it wasn't meant for me to hear due to back story, but nonetheless I now have this info.

This person has children who are in contact with my DD through school, clubs etc.

Given I'm clearly not in a position to be judgemental as I have messy history with this drug, I still find it wrong.

Would you report?

OP posts:
Roshbegosh · 16/09/2013 00:31

Don't push to kids, please! Do drug dealers ask their customers for ID now?

whatever6 · 16/09/2013 08:14

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Wallison · 16/09/2013 09:24

There are plenty of undesirables involved in the production/distribution of drugs though, but I hardly think that the OP's acquaintance is mixed up in human trafficking.

Also, dealers do not 'push'; they don't need to. And what would they be doing 'pushing' to children? You'd need to save up a lot of paper round money to support a cocaine habit. Children are not, on the whole, good customers. Why would a dealer go and hang around outside a school with a coat stuffed with illicit goodies when there are plenty of adults, most of whom do not steal or mug to fund their habits, willing and able to pay them?

Dahlen · 16/09/2013 10:24

While I can accept that many drug dealers - particularly those dealing with higher end drugs, such as cocaine - may not have their parenting influenced in any way from their drug-related activities, I would still report this.

As someone else pointed out, cocaine does not exist in a vacuum. It is tied up with human trafficking, prostitution and many other forms of organised crime. Every time you buy cocaine, you are contributing to that industry and therefore condoning it.

When it comes to dealing with members of the public, I'd rather deal with a drug-user than an alcoholic, as generally they tend to be more compliant and easy-going. My dislike of drugs is not based on the user, but the trade that supplies it. If people are happy to think their jollies justify some eastern european woman being repeatedly raped and illegal firearms being imported into the country, then that's up to them I suppose. Hmm Of course, most people don't think further than whether or not they can afford it because it suits them not to think too deeply. Once you know about the links though, if you choose to carry on with your 'harmless recreational drugs' you are a bad person IMO.

Do I think the OP's acquaintance is a thoroughly evil person? No. Do I think she's a bad mother? No. Do I think she should be stopped? Damn right I do. Turning a blind eye to this sort of activity is at the root of the massive antisocial behaviour and drug-related crime issues we have in this country. I may feel sorry for her, but she made a choice. It was a bad one.

beepoff · 16/09/2013 10:39

I don't think you know quite enough to report anything tbh. You are making a lot of assumptions.

If it was weed, she could even be growing it herself, making the points regarding big-scale drugs trading moot.

How do you even know the person who texted you "accidentally" isn't trying to set the other person up??

Flumpyflumps · 16/09/2013 10:45

Thing is beep my name has the same first letter as hers and so I guess they tapped the wrong button as it may have been next to hers in the phone?
You are right I don't know a lot and have made some assumptions and it could be a one off.
I do know a lot about how these things start tho and a one off was how I ended up with a ten year addiction that I am 2 years clean from.
Surely I should do as much as I can to keep it away from me? Obviously you don't know what everyone does behind closed doors but the fact is I do have this information now.

OP posts:
DameDeepRedBetty · 16/09/2013 10:46

I'd report anonymously.

whatever6 · 16/09/2013 10:47

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Dahlen · 16/09/2013 10:51

The average age of first-time cannabis use in the UK is 13.

Reporting this isn't going to lead to this woman having her door kicked in at 2am and her DC dragged screaming out of their beds into foster care. The information will simply be classed as intelligence and go on a computer somewhere, where it will be given a weighting for reliability/accuracy etc. In conjunction with other information it could be useful. On it's own, less so.

FWIW, though, turning a blind eye nearly always results in a growth of this sort of thing until an area becomes blighted. For some people it seems it's ok to be liberal about these things until it appears in their neighbourhood. Hmm

Dahlen · 16/09/2013 10:52

whatever6 ) I beg to differ, working in that field as I do. Hmm

If you think cocaine is harmless and the law of the land is wrong, what are you doing to achieve change?

Morloth · 16/09/2013 10:57

Hang on, do you have OTHER reasons for believing she is dealing?

My name has the same first letter as lots of peoples. Was her name in the text?

Owllady · 16/09/2013 10:57

I would be guided by your therapist, rather than what people are telling you to do on here. You are having therapy for a reason and part of therapy is to help you make your own decisions based on the here and now.

SeaSickSal · 16/09/2013 10:58

It depends. I would ask them straight out.

If it was, for example, someone who uses it recreationally who got some for another adult who uses it recretaionally on a 'oh will you get me a gram seeing as you are getting some for yourself' kind of basis, so they're just passing it on really, then I wouldn't.

If they are selling it as a business to a variety of people I would grass them up.

Flumpyflumps · 16/09/2013 10:58

Yes it was Morloth.

OP posts:
Dahlen · 16/09/2013 10:59

owllady _ I'd say that's a fairly good point actually.

OP, I feel strongly about this. I have my reasons for that (althogh they're not personal ones). However, I am not you and your situation is a complicated one given your history. You don't have to follow any advice given to you by random strangers on the internet. You have worked hard to kick your own habit and should be congratulated on that. You do whatever you need to do to maintain your recovery. Smile

Flumpyflumps · 16/09/2013 11:02

Thanks for all the input.
I'm off to NA in a minute and will have another think.
Saw her today at scho run and she blanked me, normally a hello or chat about the weekend etc, nothing.
I think she knows I know, and would suspect me immediately if I did report.
Thanks again for the comments, it's a tough one to figure out!

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 16/09/2013 11:40

sara my post wasent just aimed at you. While I understand what you say and totally agree, I do see on here a lot a great generalisation about dealers targeting children and hanging about the school gates.

Also, there is a difference between selling to somebody who has asked for the drug, and pushing the drug. Not saying either is right but there is a difference.

RedHelenB · 16/09/2013 11:46

Oh, if her name was definitely in the text then I would ring 101. From your original post it wasn't clear that it was her.

Owllady · 16/09/2013 11:48

the OP is in recovery, I think she most probably knows a fair amount of what does and doesn't go on
Hope the meeting goes well flumpy

shouldistayorshouldagonooooooo · 16/09/2013 12:29

dealers don't push what fucking planet do you live on? People don't just wake up and think " hey, tonight I'm going to get coked / smacked / stoned out my head for the first time ! " The majority of first time drug use is given free at party's as 'tasters' or passed round.

The user likes it and buys the next lot. Young people get so in debt with it they do resort to all sorts of hideous things to pay it back, forced or not. Drug distribution does go hand in hand with sexual exploitation.

It's funny when people who live in la la land or posh suburbs blame the daily mail for hysteria . It's not funny, I'm living it. Working with young people against this on our estate isn't joke!

My brother started coke/pills when he was 14 he and his friends put together for them. They are not that expensive after some cunt and cut it fifty fucking ways with rat poison.

So my answer to you in YES you must report it. If her kids are upset that she has be locked up, tough shit. It's better that than some child as that's what they are , had ODed or been rapped of there face , girls and boys!

shouldistayorshouldagonooooooo · 16/09/2013 12:54

raped - auto text.

Lj8893 · 16/09/2013 13:25

I never said all dealers don't push, of course many of them do! But not all of them!

Many people take thier first drug due to peer pressure or a curiously when thier friends are doing it.

And I don't live in La la land or posh suburbs.

I'm not defending dealers at all, but you can't say that all dealers push thier sales. There are enough people out there wanting the drugs without needed the drugs pushed on them.

Dahlen · 16/09/2013 14:08

Most dealers and users are one and the same. It's only as you go up the chain that you find the differentiation. The bloke at number 18 selling you your weed and coke is probably partaking himself, and at the party's he at later he will no doubt form part of the peer group that asks a mate's GF, for example, if she'd like a go of whatever.

Also, many people graduate to stronger drugs when their dealer is unable to supply what they've asked for but offers an alternative.

Pushing is difficult to define. People have visions of high-rise tower blocks in which balaclava-clad thugs ride around pushing heroin on 10-year-olds. The reality is much more mundane than that.

Nancy66 · 16/09/2013 14:16

cocaine is no longer a high-end drug. it's very cheap, cheaper than alcohol in fact.

Dahlen · 16/09/2013 14:27

It's still significantly more expensive than many other drugs, especially in terms of how much you need to achieve a certain 'level'. Compare to mephedrone or ketamine, for example. People can sadly get completely wasted on as little as £10 these days, but you wouldn't get much in the way of cocaine for that.