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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your opinion on sending babies to nursery without having breakfast?

186 replies

Babybunny88 · 11/09/2013 22:30

I work in a day nursery with babies and am astounded by the number of patents who say their baby has been up from 6am (or before) and are starving, please give them breakfast Confused.

We open at 7.30 and sometimes even have parents bring their babies in at 9am with no breakfast or even a bottle before hand. One little girl was brought in at 9.10am and had nothing to eat or drink apart from a bottle that she got at 4am Confused. Another little girl is put into her high chair every morning with nothing while
Her parents sit beside her at the table eat breakfast. One time apparently she grabbed a piece of toast of her dads plate and he wasn't very happy as it was his breakfast and she had to wait until she for to nursery before having hers!

I think my DD would be going into the kitchen and making her own breakfast if I didn't give her any! Really is there any need not to feed your baby before nursery? Is it laziness? Opinions please.

OP posts:
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 09:56

There was a thread a few days ago where parents were called neglectful for not cooking hot dinners after they had eaten hot dinner already at school.

Now it's acceptable to not feed babies til nine o clock even they got up at 6 Confused

I didn't read the op as it being kids turning up and eating as part of the routine. I read it as being concrete bed that small babies hadnt been fed despite being hungry purely on the basis that nursery will do it.

Lampshadeofdoom · 12/09/2013 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 09:56

Concrete? Concerned

BuskersCat · 12/09/2013 09:57

There was a fair few times I would have to wake DD in the morning to get her to nursery, she would even go in her pyjamas still Shock so yeah, she would be starving by the time she got there.

Though my daughter can eat a 3 course meal then an hour later be 'starving'

MotherofBear · 12/09/2013 09:58

The OP quite clearly said, in the first sentence of her first post, that some parents say their baby has been up from 6am (or before) and are starving, please give them breakfast.

She isn't assuming they are starving. She has been told by the parents that they are starving, because they haven't been fed, and she is asking why this would happen.

Pinupgirl · 12/09/2013 10:00

I have worked with very young children and our policy is to provide a mid morning snack-about 10ish just in case any of the dcs had not had breakfast-we had many dcs who wolfed it down.

I understand many parents are pushed for time in the morning so I can see how it can happen but it does make me a bit sad for small babies who cant even tell you they are hungry. But then again I don't agree with full time nursery for babies under the age of 1.

ubik · 12/09/2013 10:04

I agree with Op - not giving a baby breakfast is just not good enough. Even if they are going to eat at nursery.

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 10:04

wow another totally bonkers thread...it must be catching.

Under the age of 1, best practice is the feed babies on demand. Anyone holding off on feeding for as long as an hour is therefore not following best practice. Anyone not feeding a 4 month old for 3 hours after they began to show signs of wanting feeding is being cruel imo.

Pilgit · 12/09/2013 10:08

rarely gave dd1 anything but her milk before nursery but she would be up for less than half an hour before leaving for nursery round the corner. she also is not and has never been that fussed about breakfast (or getting up in the morning - but I shall keep quiet on that one). However she would always have her milk. If she wanted breakfast whe would be given it - hungry children are cranky horrors! I never eat breakfast at home and we always had a tight turn around so she was never 'left out'. cannot imagine regularly sitting her to watch us eat and not feed them. that's just weird and cruel. on the rare occasion she had breakfast at home it would be a hungry day and she'd hae second breakfast at nursery (her metabolism naturally does the 5/2 diet - sometimes in reverse....)

Weller · 12/09/2013 10:10

So why would nurseries offer breakfast for babies if it is deemed unacceptable not to feed them before arriving? My DC's would easily of chomped through two breakfasts one day and refuse to eat the next.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 12/09/2013 10:13

Wow there's some hoiking of judgey pants going on.

I have to be at work at 7.30am. I don't have a nice 9-5 job and have the time to sit and eat breakfast in the morning, so thank god for breakfasts clubs!!

I'm not going to be waking my 19 month old even earlier so he can have one of his supposedly needed two breakfasts a day. He has milk at 6am and breakfast at nursery at 8am. Same as he would do at home.

Some of us also don't have the luxury of driving their kids to nursery either, I live in London.

I do think kids should at least be offered a drink or milk before they leave for the day.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 10:17

Baby wakes up at seven , not hungry, has bottle at nursery then breakfast at 8 with others- fine

Toddler wakes at seven/ half seven given drink of water/juice then has breakfast with his friends at 8 - fine

Babies dropped of early who aren't due a feed til a bit later as they are not hungry or still sleepy- fine

Babies up at six, no water, no milk, no food, hungry but forced to wait whilst having to watch parents eat and dropped off at 9 still having not even had a drink- NOT fine.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 12/09/2013 10:21

PinUpGirl "small babies who can't even tell you they are hungry"

Are you sure about that ? I think mine were quite good at getting the message across ! Smile

MrsDeVere · 12/09/2013 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 11:15

There have been a couple of posts already saying that that does happen and that babies have turned up on filthy nappies too.

I'm curious as to whether other staff have highlighted cases as an issue and what they have done / intend to do about it.

There's a huge difference between someone having the odd bad morning and just not having time that day, although in all fairness it doesn't take much to shove a rusk/banana in their hand. And someone who just doesn't care that much and assumes nursery will sort it.

It does sound like some need reminding that nursery is their to serve a purpose. To care for children while parents work and to provide the social and early education aspect. Meals and nappies are obviously part if the service.

However they are not there to relieve parents of all responsibility of their own child.

I hope that action will be taken.

Prozacbear · 12/09/2013 11:18

I find this thread confusing. If DS is hungry, he is loud, ergo I feed him.

A parent would have to be sadistic to enjoy the hysterics of a hungry child - you're talking about proper neglect, and as such have a duty to report it.

If, however, you're just hoicking up your judgy pants, then Biscuit

DS goes to nursery hungry. Not starving, hungry. He gets up at 7 and we're there by 8 - an hour of rushing, teeth brushing, a juice pitstop and we're gone. The first thing he says when he gets into nursery is 'cereal!' - and I pay through the nose for the privilege of him eating said cereal.

moustachio · 12/09/2013 11:22

There is a difference in DS waiting to have his breakfast at nursery, and me deliberatley starving him!

He gets up at 7, has breakfast at nursery by 8:30. They also have a very early lunchtime (11). Most toddlers I know, even those that struggle with food, can eat breakfast till the cows come home. DS is known to eat 2 weetabix at home, and then eat the same at nursery, plus several rounds of toast!

Writerwannabe83 · 12/09/2013 11:29

I think maybe the OP should look up the definition of starving..

I'm not sure a baby/toddler having to wait an hour for some breakfast means it is starving.....

It is a word that is used casually and just because a parent says their child is starving, unless it hasn't been fed 2 or 3 days then I doubt that's actually the case.....

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 11:34

Depends on the age if the child. Yes some toddlers could quite happily go hours. But small babies need regular feeding. Two or three hours doesn't sound much but some would have fed twice in that time. Depends on baby. Again I just find it all confusing tbh. On one thread people are moaning cos dps didnt give bottles at right time or the kid missed a bottle at CMs and on a other it's not considered unreasonable for bSbies to have been up three or four hours and not even given a drink. Starving? Not in the liberal skin and bone sense but its s long time even they slept all night and have been up since six.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 11:35

Literal

quesadilla · 12/09/2013 11:40

My dd doesn't normally want much to eat when she first wakes up: she has a bottle if milk and a banana on the wSy to nursery and a proper breakfast there and that seems fine.

If she was ravenous when she woke up I would allow extra time to give her breakfast but its often a waste of time, while I know she will usually eat well when she gets to nursery.

I don't think you can generalise about this: if children are going hungry because their parents can't be arsed in the morning obviously that's bad but in a lot of cases it makes more sense for them to eat breakfast at nursery.

As long as the children aren't starving hungry and miserable I don't see the problem.

Writerwannabe83 · 12/09/2013 11:40

I'm wondering how young these babies are that the OP is referring to?

Surely there aren't many very little babies in a nursery setting under the age of 6 months as usually mothers are still on Maternity Leave until then? Although I do know that some babies start at a much younger age for whatever reason.

I just think there is a difference between a 2 month old baby being dropped off without having had a bottle of milk in the morning, than if it were an 8 month old for example.

allforoneandoneforall · 12/09/2013 12:20

why would you feed your kids if they are going to have a breakfast at nursery? This thread is ridiculous! It's part, or becomes part, of their routine, get up, dressed, leave, eat - What is the big deal? And of course the kids are hungry, the haven't had breakfast yet!

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 12:28

The Op said 4 months to a year

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 12:36

why would you feed your kids if they are going to have a breakfast at nursery

Er perhaps because they don't go til 9 and have been up since 6. Oh and they are babies.