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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask your opinion on sending babies to nursery without having breakfast?

186 replies

Babybunny88 · 11/09/2013 22:30

I work in a day nursery with babies and am astounded by the number of patents who say their baby has been up from 6am (or before) and are starving, please give them breakfast .

We open at 7.30 and sometimes even have parents bring their babies in at 9am with no breakfast or even a bottle before hand. One little girl was brought in at 9.10am and had nothing to eat or drink apart from a bottle that she got at 4am . Another little girl is put into her high chair every morning with nothing while
Her parents sit beside her at the table eat breakfast. One time apparently she grabbed a piece of toast of her dads plate and he wasn't very happy as it was his breakfast and she had to wait until she for to nursery before having hers!

I think my DD would be going into the kitchen and making her own breakfast if I didn't give her any! Really is there any need not to feed your baby before nursery? Is it laziness? Opinions please.

OP posts:

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 12/09/2013 09:12

My DS has his breakfast at nursery at 8am. They all sit round the table together and eat. So get off your high horse OP.

He does have a bottle of milk when he wakes up.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 12/09/2013 09:13

That is appalling. DD used to go to a nursery that provides breakfast. She started at 7mo, and at the beginning, she would be breastfed before going to nursery. Then slowly she asked (gestured) that she wanted to sit with me and have breakfast. So it became a bf, a breakfast at home, and then a second breakfast at nursery. Just because nursery provided breakfast shouldn't mean denying children food. And DD always arrived at nursery around 8 to 8.30. I thought what I did is common sense.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 09:14

I agree with that. If babies needs are not being met then she's in a position to help and should. Unassuming by now she can tell the difference between a baby who's had a bottle in the morning and is just getting hungry for the food, and a baby who clearly is past hungry and hysterical.

Lonecatwithkitten · 12/09/2013 09:16

My DD was given a bottle and breakfast at home and still wolfed down nursery breakfast.

elah11 · 12/09/2013 09:17

I think some people are being very defensive because its something they obviously do with their child and don't like to see it questioned. I think the least you can do is give your child some breakfast before you all head out for what is presumably a long day. I do think though that some parents feel they are paying the nursery to do it so why should they have to , Its not right imo.

SophieLeGiraffe · 12/09/2013 09:18

Worried now that I've been judged for the past two years by my sons nursery ladies! He's always had breakfast there but he also always had a drink of milk on waking up. We get to nursery for 8ish. If we has breakfast at home the timings would be all wrong for many reasons (would have to drive not walk as have to leave later). Our nursery rules are that they have to be there by 8.25 for breakfast, then snack time is 9.30. Now DS is older he has less milk but asks for things like an orange or a banana or sometimes toast which we either have at home or in the pram as we walk. Escort on work from home days where I feed him at home and drop him off later.

Basically I don't see the problem. Babies will wolf anything if they're offered it, doesn't mean they didn't already eat.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 09:23

But your all talking about toddlers, ones which can ask for food if they need it, or who got up had a glass of milk and is happy to go eat breakfast with his friends at nursery.

The op was talking about bSbies turning up later in the morning having had nothing !! No bottle, no food. And she knows when they were last fed as parents have told her.

No ones going to judge parents of a child turning up all smiles and happy and who just wolfs down their food.

They will however judge a parent who's kid turns up absolutely starving/hysterical who's been debated food on the basis that because somewhere these provides it then parents can get away with not feeding then.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 09:23

Denied

SeaSickSal · 12/09/2013 09:26

My baby goes and has breakfast with his childminder every morning. He wakes up at 6.15am and has milk but he won't eat until later so when he gets to the childminder at 7am he has breakfast with her.

BikeRunSki · 12/09/2013 09:28

Neither of my dc like to eat for am hour ot do after they wake up, given the choice they always prefer breakfast at nursery. I offer them breakfast at home, it is usually turned down.

Sirzy · 12/09/2013 09:29

When DS was at nursery the provided breakfast for them if needed 9 times out of 10 he had eaten before he had gone in but occasionally he would wake up late so eat when he got there instead. For parents who had to drop off at opening every day then it must have been very handy that they did it that way.

Stopping a child eating at home is wrong but I have no problem with them having breakfast at nursery in general.

TarkaTheOtter · 12/09/2013 09:32

What makes you think they are starving OP?

My daughter wolfs down her porridge at about 8.45/9am. I have tried offering it earlier and she just plays with it. She will have had milk when she woke up but that might not have been since 6.30am. I'm not being defensive - she doesn't go to nursery and can eat breakfast whenever, this is what works best for her.

Similarly I know a baby who was really funny with her bottles and having had a bottle in the night would have stopped her having one at all in the morning.

I can also imagine making that joke if my daughter stole my toast at 8am when I eat if she normally doesn't eat until later.

It might be laziness, and if the babies are truly starving then it does sound neglectful. I just expect that in most of the cases the parents are just doing what works given their particular circumstances.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 09:34

I think people are deliberately missing the point.

Do you honestly think she would have even posted if babies were turning up all happy and smiley and ready to go?

She is worried that people are developing the "nursery will sort it" attitude and neglecting basic needs.of tiny babies. However if that really is happening then she does need to act because babies should be bloody fed if they are hungry regardless of someone being paid to do it.

TarkaTheOtter · 12/09/2013 09:35

She's not said they turn up hysterical.
She's not given any reason as to why she thinks they are starving.

pindorasbox · 12/09/2013 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TarkaTheOtter · 12/09/2013 09:37

wheresmy I think the OP is just being snide and judgemental about babies having breakfast at nursery. She's said it's not about neglect.

GrassIsntGreener · 12/09/2013 09:38

That's disgusting. It's cruel to eat in front of a hungry baby while they have nothing.

Dd's nursery used to provide breakfast. She would get up about 7, have a milky drink, we'd rush about and be at nursery for 8 where she would eat straight away.

anewdispensation · 12/09/2013 09:39

Heartbreaking. So sad especially as someone said up thread the babies don't have much choice in the matter!

GertBySea · 12/09/2013 09:42

My DD1 was travel sick so we couldn't give her breakfast beer getting to nursery. She arrived at 7.30am and ate straight away.

My DD2 was not great at separating from me at drop off. I found that she settled better if she arrived needing something, ie breakfast. It just made the separation easier for her. She had a great rest of the day, before anyone judges the misery....

Neither were that miserable without an earlier breakfast. Children and babies aren't that polite. If they are starving and suffering for it, they'd soon let you know.

Lampshadeofdoom · 12/09/2013 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MinesAPintOfTea · 12/09/2013 09:44

Wheresmy the OP has come onto a parenting forum and judged parents for a reasonable decision, its not surprising she's got a light flaming. Many people have justified why not giving breakfast until 8-9am works best with their babies, but the OP has still stuck to her guns.

Also for those of us who drive for any distance with young children, you aren't supposed to feed them or give them drinks whilst rear-facing due to risks from choking or having a bottle in front of them in the event of a sudden stop.

For working parents this sometimes means something has to give, and paying someone so that you don't have to worry about getting a fussy baby to feed on a tight morning schedule is a good compromise.

GertBySea · 12/09/2013 09:44

Breakfast beer. Mmmmm. Would be totally ok to judge that.

couldn't give her breakfast before* getting to nursery.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 12/09/2013 09:47

Anyone who is caring for a young child or baby should feed them if they are hungry, and also communicate with other carers of child about recent care (whether or not they have recently eaten/slept etc.)

But nothing wrong with children being ready for their breakfast when arriving at nursery. It shouldn't be that hard to provide children with a good breakfast in nursery, and could be more sociable and possibly more relaxed than eating at home with everyone rushing to get ready.

Groovee · 12/09/2013 09:48

It doesn't surprise me as lots of baby parents did this when I was baby room supervisor. I even had one mum who brought their babies in with dirty nappies as the nursery staff could change it

GangstersLoveToDance · 12/09/2013 09:55

All this rubbish about 'Oh but it IS breakfast time!'.

Not giving your baby/child even a drink, never mind food, from waking until 9am is cruel and negligent.

On a Saturday mine go to my mums. I drop them off at 8.30am and my mum gives them their breakfast. However, they always have a cup of milk or juice and a banana on waking (anytime from 7 - 8). Making them wait 1.5 hours before anything is Mean. With a capital M.

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