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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your opinion on sending babies to nursery without having breakfast?

186 replies

Babybunny88 · 11/09/2013 22:30

I work in a day nursery with babies and am astounded by the number of patents who say their baby has been up from 6am (or before) and are starving, please give them breakfast Confused.

We open at 7.30 and sometimes even have parents bring their babies in at 9am with no breakfast or even a bottle before hand. One little girl was brought in at 9.10am and had nothing to eat or drink apart from a bottle that she got at 4am Confused. Another little girl is put into her high chair every morning with nothing while
Her parents sit beside her at the table eat breakfast. One time apparently she grabbed a piece of toast of her dads plate and he wasn't very happy as it was his breakfast and she had to wait until she for to nursery before having hers!

I think my DD would be going into the kitchen and making her own breakfast if I didn't give her any! Really is there any need not to feed your baby before nursery? Is it laziness? Opinions please.

OP posts:
simpson · 11/09/2013 23:04

My DS was at nursery from 11 months at 8 am in the morning till 5pm, 2 or 3 days a week depending on work pattern.

He refused point blank to drink from a bottle but I would give him some porridge and a fruit pot or yogurt.

When he got to nursery he would have a second mini breakfast of some toast and a beaker of milk.

I would not feel comfortable with him leaving the house with an empty tummy (he would not have had anything since 7pm the previous day - beaker of milk, tea at 5ish).

However, there were days when he was super tired and I thought it was more beneficial for him to have an extra 40 mins sleep instead but we only lived 3 mins away from the nursery at the time and it did not happen v often.

BelleJolie · 11/09/2013 23:06

They still get fed, though, don't they? It's not like they skip a meal completely.

I must say, I can't imagine a parent not giving milk though, especially for a baby, before nursery. But toast, cereal etc at nursery is fine.

OhDearNigel · 11/09/2013 23:08

Op, you asked for opinions, which you got. Nobody has "jumped down your throat"

peanutMD · 11/09/2013 23:09

Do you have kids OP?

BackforGood · 11/09/2013 23:11

I can't understand your assumption that these babies have gone 12 hours without food. Can't speak for everyone else, but when mine were babies, they'd be having feeds in the night. Yes, I'd then scoop him out of his cot and deliver him to CM (in our case) without feeding him a breakfast, as part of the contract we arranged was for the CM to feed him his breakfast. He has always given the impression of "being starving" at each and every mealtime - just always loved his food, didn't indicate I wasn't feeding him.
If you feel a child were being neglected, then you should be following the safeguarding procedures in place, but choosing to take up the childcare provider's decision to serve breakfast hardly makes you a bad parent.Hmm

Boomba · 11/09/2013 23:12

my kids wont eat anything until they have been up a couple of hours. They always go to nursery/school without having had breakfast and eat when they are there. Thats what breakfast club is for, no? Confused

Original poster
Babybunny88 · 11/09/2013 23:13

It seems like some people are getting the impression that I'm calling parents neglectful Confused when I neither said or think that at all.

Yes I have a DD

OP posts:
MikeOxard · 11/09/2013 23:13

Meh. I think it's ok to be hungry before you eat and everyone should be going 12 hours with nothing in their tummy every day imo - no wonder we have an obesity crisis in this country if people are shocked at the very idea of not stuffing their faces 24/7.

Ds (1yo) is never hungry for breakfast, and consequently eats very little if anything at breakfast time. But he BFs throughout the night whenever he wants, and has a bf on waking up in the morning, so I think he's getting everything he needs, just differently. I'm sure he's hungry at nursery, as he eats much better there than he does at home. But that's the natural order of things isn't it - you get hungry, then you eat.

I can't believe there are actually many people who just don't bother feeding their hungry child tbh. Either they weren't hungry earlier at home, or they fed them, but they have big appetites and are hungry again. I think the Dad was probably joking and/or exaggerating about the toast story.

MidniteScribbler · 11/09/2013 23:14

but what about the ones who are hungry!

DS eats like a horse at daycare. Even on the days I take him in late and he does have breakfast at home, he still dives for the table and scarfs down toast like he hasn't eaten for a week. Three serves of lunch is not uncommon. Having peers around you doing something is a pretty powerful motivator for young children.

Boomba · 11/09/2013 23:15

but, yes, if you know children are coming to nursery very hungry, having been up for hours and are being denied food...I would say that is a safeguarding issue...and you need to report it to someone senior.

However, I don't believe you, that this happens for lots of children/where there are no other concerns

Boomba · 11/09/2013 23:15

you should be calling them neglectful if they are doing what you say they are doing

Original poster
Babybunny88 · 11/09/2013 23:23

No I don't think they are neglectful at all.

OP posts:
3birthdaybunnies · 11/09/2013 23:25

Ds will only have a liquid breakfast most days - he's up by 6:30. We have to leave by 8:30. Every day he has a choice of breakfast, I remind him about it etc but he just refuses it, he'll drink milk but often won't entertain anything else until 5 min before preschool starts. Some days when he is with me all day he won't eat anything until midday. I will warn the staff if he announces that he's hungry so that they can put him on early snack table. He is nearly 4 so much older, but he's always been like that. He is beginning to learn to fill up before we leave but if he won't eat I won't force him to. Maybe discuss it with each individual parent if you think you have some insights to offer.

LittleBearPad · 11/09/2013 23:35

So what do you think?

What point are you making. Either it's ok or not, neglectful or not?

justanuthermanicmumsday · 11/09/2013 23:36

I take it these are private nurseries? I get up between5-6 am my children get fed first ages between 7-15 months, I couldn't imagine going anywhere without feeding them first.

I suspect many parents are getting up last minute then rushing around hence baby gets a bottle of milk then nursery for full breakfast. I don't agree with it, but it's their children up to them. as long as the child is fed a little something before nursery drop off there's no need for concern. I would say zero food is neglect especially if there is an hour or more before breakfast is served at the nursery.

Boomba · 11/09/2013 23:39

hungry children are being denied food by their parents, and you don't think that is an issue you should raise?

Original poster
Babybunny88 · 11/09/2013 23:39

No bringing them in and providing no breakfast would be neglectful. I just think if a baby is up for hours and is hungry they should be fed.

OP posts:
Boomba · 11/09/2013 23:42

Another little girl is put into her high chair every morning with nothing while Her parents sit beside her at the table eat breakfast. One time apparently she grabbed a piece of toast of her dads plate and he wasn't very happy as it was his breakfast and she had to wait until she for to nursery before having hers

how do you know this?
why do you think this isnt something you should take further?

bringbackopalfruits · 11/09/2013 23:42

My DS's have breakfast when they get to nursery. There's not enough time to have it between getting up and leaving the house to be honest! If they are hungry then they'll ask for a banana, which they'll be given, and sometimes DS1 asks for cereal too, which he can have. But on nursery days, they have all of their meals there, which I'm sure is the same for a lot of families.

But, if nursery provide breakfast, I can't see your problem?

GreyWhites · 11/09/2013 23:43

Its not hours from what you've said though. They get milk at some point after waking at 6, then breakfast at7.30. Seems fair enough to me. As some others have pointed out, being hungry at mealtimes is a good thing.

Original poster
Babybunny88 · 11/09/2013 23:44

Boomba the parents send in porridge with the child. They get it, just alot later.

OP posts:
YoniBottsBumgina · 11/09/2013 23:50

Babies normally wake in the night though at 4-12 months don't they? (Mine definitely did!) So surely they aren't being left without a bottle for 14 hours at all unless their parents are insanely rigid Truby King followers, which is unlikely unless they've time travelled from 1950, even Gina Ford advocates night feeds and breakfast Confused

Are you sure the dad wasn't joking about being unhappy about the baby stealing his toast? Some people have a weird sense of humour. Plus "sat there while her parents eat breakfast" sounds shocking but perhaps she has a bottle/breastfeed before this or a beaker of milk in the highchair, or she is given a bit of toast/fruit/cereal to play with, or they have tried feeding her at this time but she is not interested? It's not necessarily that they are just ignoring her and tending to their own needs, okay it might be, but that's not the most likely scenario surely.

ItsaTIARA · 11/09/2013 23:50

Not all babies wake up at stupid o'clock - mine are night owls like their parents, and our morning routines went milk - shower - clothes - nursery with no faffing around. Nursery sat them straight down for breakfast at about 8:30.

YoniBottsBumgina · 12/09/2013 00:03

YY that too. I still have to wake DS up in the mornings for nursery.

allforoneandoneforall · 12/09/2013 00:06

wow having to wait all the way til 7.30/8 for their brekkie - and people (NOT the OP!) are calling that neglect, get ya heads out of your arses and stop being ridiculous - Its perfectly acceptable for kids to wait until they get to nursery, which is early in the morning, to have breakfast!