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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that by the age of 32 you shouldn't be getting so drunk you throw up everywhere?

82 replies

RolandCat · 08/09/2013 16:54

A friend got so drunk on cocktails last night she was throwing up everywhere.

It was embarrassing.

She isn't 18. She is 32 and IMO she should know her alcohol tolerance level.

AIBU to think there comes a point where you stop getting so paralytic that you can't take care of yourself?

Her husband has spent the day looking after her and their 1yo dd. Which is fine if she were actually ill but this is self inflicted. She would be moaning like mad if the boot was on the other foot and he had spent the day lying on the sofa hungover.

AIBU to think she needs to grow up?

OP posts:

FrigginRexManningDay · 08/09/2013 16:55

Was this a one off or a regular thing?

AmberLeaf · 08/09/2013 16:56

Is this a regular thing or a one off?

First drink after having her baby? I found my alcohol tolerance changed after not having had a drink for a while, maybe it was unexpected.

duchessandscruffy · 08/09/2013 16:57

Says who?

Yrs, if this was happening every weekend it would be a concern but if it's just a one off (and especially if she got so drunk as she doesn't get out much these days) then you are being judgy pants ahoy!

I know plenty of people who have vomited from alcohol at the age of 32 and older!

Original poster

RolandCat · 08/09/2013 17:01

She knows she can't drink. She normally sticks to alco pops like Bacardi breezer and WKD and even then only has 3/4.

She has been doing this since the baby was born last year. This isn't her first night out, she knows she can't drink really.

And yet she will keep trying to drink stronger drinks, lat night it was cocktails, once I saw her necking neat gin.

I mean why? I think she does it to impress certain friends.

OP posts:

FrigginRexManningDay · 08/09/2013 17:06

If it looks like binge drinking is becoming a problem for her then do step in and have a word,if she's letting her hit down and just wants to have fun (not trying to throw as much booze down her neck as she can) then leave her alone,she will learn her limits. You know her better than we do.

MissMuesli · 08/09/2013 17:09

Apart from the age this was me last weekend, my OH had to put me in the shower and then to be all before 12 I rarely drink and felt fine... Until I didn't! Sometimes it's easy to get carried away, and aslong as its not every weekend and she is staying safe I'm not sure i would be that worried!

MissMuesli · 08/09/2013 17:11

X posted with you OP. I think SIBalittleU to be doing this alot especially if other people have to look after her but I think YABalittleU to be judge versus concerned. Do you think she's overwhelmed with being a parent and just needs to feel "free" does she need a friend?

Farahilda · 08/09/2013 17:20

Well, anyone can get it horribly wrong with cocktails, as you just don't know how much alcohol is in them, they might not taste that strong and you might not realise until too late.

But if she is regularly drinking to incapacitation, then yes I would be concerned for her health and well-being. But you can't solve an unhealthy relationship with alcohol just by telling someone to get a grip.

soontobeburns · 08/09/2013 17:22

To be honest after the age of 21 and especially when you are a parent its not right to drink to excess.

Then again my judgie pants are always pulled up high about drink. I hate it when I hear people especially mothers who state...god I havent had a drink in a week cant wait to get shit faced. It makes so me

sameoldIggi · 08/09/2013 17:45

It's not the age it's the level of reponsibility she has.
Probably did similar at that age myself, but impacted on no-one else so my choice.

perplexedpirate · 08/09/2013 17:56

I've spent the day lying on the sofa with a hangover. I'm 35.
It was my friends birthday and I had a drink, so sue me.

derektheladyhamster · 08/09/2013 17:58

Oh dear, I'm 40 and can't take my drink either. And yes I should have learnt. But I haven't and neither have most of my friends

MrsMongoose · 08/09/2013 17:59

I hope I can still have the occasional bender at 32! Maybe one per year?

MrsMongoose · 08/09/2013 18:00

I meant vomming once a year! I'll be having plenty more drinks in between!

BreakOutTheKaraoke · 08/09/2013 18:02

How come this is bad but generally its OK to have a few glasses of wine every night? I know many more people who do that, and its a lot worse for their body than an occasional night out.

Mintyy · 08/09/2013 18:05

I think I agree with you a tiny bit op.

Getting drunk is fine (if not very often) imo. But if you drink to the point where you throw up and have to be looked after then it is really demeaning. And worrying if it happens regularly.

However, some people throw up much more easily than others. My uber-fit and healthy-living 47 year old friend got so drunk at a mutual friend's party recently that she had to be put to bed with a bucket and stay the night. I think that's a leetel bit embarrassing but I probably drank as much as her and got up at 8 the following morning, had a glass of water and a couple of paracetamol, and was right as rain.

So I'm slightly on the fence.

SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious · 08/09/2013 18:05

I'm 22 and a parent and I know my alcohol tolerance levels but I have also drunk so much I've been throwing up.

Its my birthday coming up and then a wedding the day after so I will be in a state.

I'm hoping I will be drinking with friends into my 90's

BreakOutTheKaraoke · 08/09/2013 18:10

I think it's very easily done, and how drunk you get doesn't just depend on the amount you drink. I've had to learn to be careful if I've had a stressful week/ day, as I get drunk on much less alcohol than what I would normally have.

duchessandscruffy · 08/09/2013 18:12

To be honest after the age of 21 and especially when you are a parent its not right to drink to excess

iliketea · 08/09/2013 18:14

I think YABabitU - assuming it's not happening every weekend. Although she's a parent, her dc had their dad to care for them, it's not like she went out and got roaring drunk and left her 1yo to fend for themselves; nor did she inconvenience you in any way by requiring you to care for her dc.

On the other hand, if she's doing it every weekend to that extent, it's really not doing her health any good.

And judging her is not a particularly friendly thing to do - last weekend, I had a particularly boozy night and had the worst hangover I have ever known and I wouldn't have thought much of friends judging me for going out one weekend (the first time in about 6 months) and getting carried away.

flummoxedlummox · 08/09/2013 18:19

Mintyy a friend said to me once "So I'm slightly on the fence." mind you they on their knees with their face planted against a fence... and they slurred slightly as well.

PumpkinPositive · 08/09/2013 18:35

Oh God. For a horrible moment I thought this thread might be my date from last week seeking advice about me. Except I'm 34, not 32.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 08/09/2013 20:23

If this is a bit of a one off YABU.

Misjudging your alcohol intake is something we have all done, you get better at it as you get older but it is really easy to slip up on cocktails. I hoo she had a good night before the vomiting kicked in

IneedAsockamnesty · 08/09/2013 20:35

I fully intend to be getting shit faced and loudly singing when I'm 90.

And what wrong with dad looking after his own child nobody bats an eyelid when blokes do it.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat · 08/09/2013 20:44

I don't think it's right if you are the main carer of a young child as you wont be able to responsibly look after them in all likelihood if you spend the whole of the next day throwing up.

I also really dislike it when people drink when they have small babies or very young children.

My aunt was once going to take her 1 year old and 4 year old swimming after 3 or 4 glasses of wine and her husband went ape (he's European too, so fairly easy going on the drinking front - but she was slurring so it wasn't sensible). I stepped in at 16 and looked after the kids and my aunt when they went swimming.

I have had 2 glasses of wine on separate nights since DD was born 5 months ago. I've had 2 shandies too of a night, but would worry that any more would leave me in too bad a state and I can't expect to call on my parents to be on call all night, so I just don't do it. I reckon around Christmas will probably be my first drinking.

Sorry for derailing. I think you could have a quiet word with your friend and say that you are concerned about her making herself ill, because this has happened a few times. It's her choice whether she chooses to listen to you or not and ultimately, there isn't much you can do if she doesn't want to listen.

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