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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mad when I can smell mother in laws perfume on DD....

93 replies

Nottheperfectmum · 07/09/2013 21:27

I feel like I need someone to tell me to grow up! MIL is staying at the moment and apart from many other little annoyances every time she picks up DD she makes her smell of her very strong perfume...she is not here often but when she is she comes to stay for a week, during this time I am left to 'hang out' with her whilst DH goes to work.. She's very intense and I feel bad for finding her hard work but it really does drive me a bit loopy! Anyway rant over! Does anyone else have any similar issues or is it just me?

OP posts:
everlong · 07/09/2013 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grobagsforever · 07/09/2013 21:29

Better than cig smoke. Thanks MILSad

sonlypuppyfat · 07/09/2013 21:30

If having strong perfume is the only thing winding you up about her then I think you are doing alright my MIL was a monster

Jenijena · 07/09/2013 21:30

I hate this too. But I suspect wabu.

Capitola · 07/09/2013 21:31

It is just you.

thecatfromjapan · 07/09/2013 21:31

I have a ds. I read this post and my heart freezes a little ...

I think you should accept that you're never going to love your mil as much as your dd but if your mil is not actually being really horrible, you should chill.

Hope you are enjoying your lovely little baby.

NeedaWee · 07/09/2013 21:32

Grow up

Hassled · 07/09/2013 21:32

So she smells like her grandmother - if you liked MIL, would that really be a problem? What's hard work about her? A week's a long time to host anyone - could you cut the time down a bit?

CreatureRetorts · 07/09/2013 21:33

I think you're a bit U - the smell just reminds you of her. It's not as if she's smearing perfume all over your kid!

DanceLikeJohnTravoltaNow · 07/09/2013 21:34

I used to hate the smell of perfume being on my baby after people held her. She's 18 months now and I'm just happy when someone else is entertaining her. As Long as she doesn't come back smelling of pooey nappies I don't care!

thecatfromjapan · 07/09/2013 21:34

Good post, Hassled.

She is right - why does she stay for a week? That is a long time to stay with someone/have someone to stay who you are not very, very fond of.

LittleBearPad · 07/09/2013 21:35

There are many worse things she could be smelling of (cigarettes for one) - chill

Thesouthernwindisblowing · 07/09/2013 21:35

Yabu however I felt exactly the same about dd smelling of my mil's perfume so I feel your pain.

Original poster
Nottheperfectmum · 07/09/2013 21:36

Now realised its def just me... need more sleep and much more compassion! certainly going to concentrate more on arranging visits which are little and often rather than long spells...thanks.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 07/09/2013 21:36

I can't stand this either.

But I think it's partly because I can't stand my Dm or my mil.

Mintyy · 07/09/2013 21:37

God it really is time for the Mil Bashing topic on Mumsnet isn't it?

squoosh · 07/09/2013 21:37

It's just you.

VikingLady · 07/09/2013 21:38

It's not really the perfume though, is it? It's more that the smell is a very potent/pungent reminder that someone you are not overly fond of has been handling your DD!

Bogeyface · 07/09/2013 21:39

You will get lots of posts telling you that you are lucky she cares, lucky she isnt dead, lucky she isnt EA ...... which normally piss me off as just because someone else has it worse, doesnt mean that you should put up with stuff.

But in this case, yep, YABU. Sorry!

What is it about her that you find such hard work? Can you find a common interest that you could focus on when she is there? I had this issue with my MIL before ex and I got married, she was being a bit of a PITA about the wedding so I found her a project, she made the table decorations. Turns out she was a whizz at it and I was just starting to learn flower arranging at an evening class with my own mum. So I asked her about it and once we found that common thing, we got on really well because it led to a closer relationship and us understanding each other better. The "difficult" woman I had been introduced to was actually a very troubled lady who had been through an incredibly difficult childhood (her parents died when she was 5 and she never had a stable home from then on), and was quite needy as a result. We became very close and I was heartbroken when she died.

Hissy · 07/09/2013 21:41

YANBU.. or b perhaps WE RBU...

my mother. my tiny newborn DS. That revolting catspiss "Beautiful" perfume.

Angry

Her dickhead H buys it for her. But I think even SHE knows it doesn't suit her!

PeazlyPops · 07/09/2013 21:41

YABU to be mad about it, YANBU to dislike it.

purrpurr · 07/09/2013 21:41

It's not just you. I don't like it either! There's a few of us now, we can all be unreasonable together :)

purrpurr · 07/09/2013 21:42

VikingLady is spot on by the way, that is totally it.

kilmuir · 07/09/2013 21:42

better than smelling of piss

Original poster
Nottheperfectmum · 07/09/2013 21:43

Bogeyface,thanks for the advice. I think I just needed a rant and after seeing these replies now need to think that I'm probably one of the lucky ones! I'm definitely going to see if we can find some common interests.

OP posts: