To be mad when I can smell mother in laws perfume on DD....

[Nottheperfectmum]

I feel like I need someone to tell me to grow up! MIL is staying at the moment and apart from many other little annoyances every time she picks up DD she makes her smell of her very strong perfume...she is not here often but when she is she comes to stay for a week, during this time I am left to 'hang out' with her whilst DH goes to work.. She's very intense and I feel bad for finding her hard work but it really does drive me a bit loopy! Anyway rant over! Does anyone else have any similar issues or is it just me?

When mine were little my gm would whisk them off me immediately when we visited, I'd wrestle them off her for feeds and she'd grab them straight back soon as she could and they'd smell of her perfume for ages when we got back home. Did make me a bit grumpy.

A week is too long for any guest.

It's your mil. Your dh should be there.

Why can't she come for a weekend?

I really went off perfume when I was pregnant and don't ever wear it now. I also hate mil's strong perfume, hate Dd smelling of it and hate it when she visits and the whole house stinks of it for days. You can almost taste it. Bleurgh.

YANBU.

Its actually quite frightening the level of hatred for MILs on here. Most cant wait to become a grandmother but then realise the DIL is likely to criticise and control everything. Its never the DIL at fault

So now they cant wear perfume! Do you issue every person with a wipe if they have perfume on? Our teachers wear perfume, perhaps you need to check when visiting schools their policy on it.

YABU but I've felt the same. Think it's a primal/instinct thing....some animals won't look after young/kill young who have an unfamiliar smell. I think that's the source of this feeling.

YABU whenever my children visited their grandparents they came home stinking of cigarettes, hair, clothes the lot

They love their grandparents and their grandparents love them so I have never complained. In laws by the way

I still hate, and always did, my DD smelling of perfume from anyone who had been cuddling her. It didn't really matter who it was and whether I liked them or not. She just didn't smell like her.

at all the people taking this personally. This is the OP's issue with HER MIL. It's not about anybody else. I have two sons and I'm not offended. Don't see why anybody else should be.

My dd is now 6 but I have always quite liked it if I can smell my mum or mil's perfume on her. It makes me happy that they love her so much and have cuddles. Also, the smell of the grandads.

I do have some probs with my mil but we all work quite hard to make sure dd is not affected and they have their own relationship.

It's not about the smell, that's just a symptom
. Why should you relish spending your limited free time with a house guest you don't even want?
Next time get your dh to book her into a nearby guest house so you can choose when you see her or even better tell him to book the bloody week off and entertain her himself. She's his mum not yours.

And if the perfume is rank why would you want your beautiful baby to smell of it?

When DD used to come back from nursery smelling of nursery I used to feel a little upset and anxious until I had washed her and I could smell her own scent again. I had nothing against her nursery at all, they were always totally outstanding. One of those delightful gifts from evolution, no doubt. Is it just your MIL's smell that annoys you or anything that makes your DD smell 'other'? Also, and very kindly, are you doing OK? I think how deeply I felt this was somewhat linked to the mild PND/anxiety disorder I was experiencing.

My mum wears far too much strong smelling perfume, and I hate that DS and DD smell of it after she's cuddled them, it's not that I don't want her cuddling them, it's just she ruins the way they smell.

However, I'm aware I have a very good sense of smell compared to most people and how things smell is a big deal for me, I adore the way my DCs smell (well, when both clean), it's a mixture of the clothes washing liquid I use, baby shampoo and their own 'musk' and it's lovely. My mum's perfume is too strong and overpowers all of that, so they just smell of her. (this drowning herself in perfume a recent development for my mum, too so it's not how I remember her smelling as a child - strong perfume was just for special occasions until recently).

I don't try to stop her cuddling them, but I do insist on hair wash in the bath after she's gone so they go back to smelling of them, not her. It's not as bad with MIL, although they smell of her a bit, she doesn't wear as much scent so it's not as obvious after she's had a cuddle, although her house has a particular smell and they do smell of that when they've visited, but then we all do.

Oh and I think DS has my sense of smell, he noticed when I wasn't wearing my perfume the other day and didn't like it (he's 3.5 years old).

My little granddaughters (and the two grandsons, when they were little) LOVE having a dab or two of my perfume on their wrists. It's a routine - after they've used the toilet, I let them select one of the bottles of scent on the bathroom shelf for the dab. The granddaughters also have the empty bottles and it's sweet to see they eying the perfumes, to suss out which bottle is going to be empty soon. Their mums (my daughter and my sweet daughter in law) are perfectly happy with their kids coming home smelling of Mitsouko, Chanel No. 5, Miss Dior or Arpege (current favourites).
I guest the OP's mother in law favours one of those strong perfumes, such as Youthdew or Poison, that does tend to cling. I don't think it's a big deal is the MIL is otherwise a nice grandmama.

For dc that small.will.be a special memory. And will remind her of gran. Use the tome to get a break.of you can.

oldgramdmama I used to do the same thing! She kept her own mothers perfume bottles laid out so we had loads of really old pretty bottles to rearrange, and have a quick dab of!

HappyMummyOfOne, thank you for standing up for MILs! Honestly, ladies, there ARE some lovely MILs out there. But I suppose people don't post about these, only what they consider the awful ones. But - saying this with fear and trepidtation - I think some women marry or live with a bloke expecting the MIL to be horrible. Think of all those MIL jokes that comedians trot out, or used to. And the MIL cartoons. We certainly have had a bad press.

Personally, I'd be heartbroken if my dear DIL and SIL thought me nasty (I know they don't) but I do work hard to be a good MIL. For instance, I would never criticise if the DIL/SIL or my own kids, if they were letting their children do something I didn't really approve of - unless it was something downright awful, like giving the kids knives, matches, pitbulls to play with, neglecting or beating them. Then I would remonstrate, of course! Heaven knows, I wasn't the perfect mother and I made a load of mistakes, but MIL, bless her, never criticised, even if she secretly rolled her eyes.

Let's hear it for some nice MILs!

I can remember DH and I having a snappy moment with each other about which one of us had covered newborn DS with something that stank.

DH blaming me for putting a perfumed nappy rash cream on DS and me saying DH must have put the wrong, perfumed nappy bags in the changing bag by mistake and the smell had gone onto his change of outfit.

DH had just finished saying "I'm throwing that cream out, he smells like an old lady's handbag!"

And that was the moment we both realised it was MILs perfume. And she had been listening to us without saying a word, although she looked a bit throughout.