To be mad when I can smell mother in laws perfume on DD....

[Nottheperfectmum]

I feel like I need someone to tell me to grow up! MIL is staying at the moment and apart from many other little annoyances every time she picks up DD she makes her smell of her very strong perfume...she is not here often but when she is she comes to stay for a week, during this time I am left to 'hang out' with her whilst DH goes to work.. She's very intense and I feel bad for finding her hard work but it really does drive me a bit loopy! Anyway rant over! Does anyone else have any similar issues or is it just me?

My dc always smell of their dgm whenever they've been there or she's been babysitting, she's all over them like a cheap suit.
I don't mind- but she is my mother, so maybe that makes it ok; although I don't mind when they come home from the in laws' and smell like their house.
I'm sure none of that helps at all.

Sigh. An utterly trivial reason to demonise your husbands mother and your child's grandparent. Get a grip.

I think it's that a baby should smell like a baby, not overwhelming perfume. It's like an assault on the senses.

vikinglady has it right!
Yeah it probably is unreasonable but entirely understandable

As the mother of a son this makes me sad that one day i might have a daughter in law that complains about my perfume.

Something tells me the perfume is not the core issue here...

Nope Nbu...sure my mil used to do it on purpose.

I don't like strong perfume at all so it makes me heave when anyone wearing it cuddles dd.

so yanbu
but yabu because it's becaue you don't like mil

I agree lola add it to the extensively long list.

We should just hand over DS's at birth since we're going to do such a fuck awful job of raising them and we're such awful people generally.

My wee girl quite iften comes home from my DMs smelling of her (not very strong) perfume. I just think it's nice they had a cuddle.

It is sometimes hard to share even a little bit of your children. Just remember that it is a good thing your child has loving grandparents.

YVW OP :)

Its actually NU from a purely biological POV though, I think that is probably where we get it from.

Animals will reject their young if they dont smell right, which is why the advice is never to touch a newborn puppy or kitten unless absolutely necessary. We as a species would reject our own young if they didnt smell of us, thats how we knew they were ours and they werent carrying diseases picked up from other humans/animals. It was part protecting them and part protecting ourselves and our other young.

I think it is probably an animal thing that we havent evolved out of.

My baby isn't even born yet and I am worrying about when she goes to my mils. Their house has a very strong smell, not exactly bad but not pleasant either. I have visions of bringing my baby home and having to give her a bath and clean clothes to make her smell like she's mine again. It's completely bonkers, but I don't have a great relationship with mil (pils can be very toxic) and that smell has really bad memories attached to it in my mind.

Whenever dh comes back from there he absolutely stinks of their house and I really don't like it. Smells can bring out really strong emotions. Even if it is just that your baby doesnt smell like you and your home, I can actually really understand where you are coming from.

Look on the bright side, it means your MIL has been giving your DD love and attention.
You don't need to love your MIL, but it's no bad thing for your DD to have a loving and caring extended family.

baby's should smell of milk and baby soap perfume is a bit disconcerting im pretty much the same way if my baby does not smell right! cant you sneeze a lot and claim sudden allergy?

My DD likes and notices that her GP smell different to us! Although PIL house seems to be giving me asthma at the moment

I would hate it as well. but you are a bit u.

HEffalump

They are toxic? You do know that they dont have a right to your baby dont you? I dont advocate cutting off GPs because she buys your baby clothes you dont like or whatever, but truly toxic people have no place in your or your childs life.

Thanks everyone I really am
just going to grow up! To be honest I don't think MIL's can win. Too much interaction, not enough...I've just been caught on a bad day!

I don't like it either. Kind of smells like he's not mine afterwards. Bit weird and primal.

When I was pregnant I stopped wearing perfume as it made me feel sick. My dm particularly always wears strong perfume that lingered on my babies and it really annoyed me. Now they are less cuddly aged 8 and 10 she makes my dog smell of her which is better than dog smell I guess

No offence, yr babe prob smells better with some scent on her than babies that age usually do.

ever I think that having a bad MIL makes you determined not to be like that with your own DIL.

Mine isnt a full DIL yet, but I have bitten my tongue more than once when I see an issue. As a mother I want to wade in and defend my son, but as a DIL I think "He can fight his own battles, I will advise him if asked but otherwise stay out of it". If I hadnt had a negative experience with my current MIL (truly toxic, not to me specifically but to H and any poor cow he happened to marry) then I perhaps wouldnt understand that I need to step back.

Yanbu I hated it when my lovely baby smelling son smelled of perfume, even my own if I noticed it. You wouldn't spray perfume on a baby so it is jarring and wrong for them to smell of perfume whether you like the perfume wearer or not.