to think that Rachel Manning's mother was poorly advised in her statement to the media?

[Mintyy]

It goes without saying that I have the utmost sympathy for her and everything she has been through. I can only think that her grief has affected her judgement, though .

Most of her statement is devoted to praising the police (who oversaw two terrible miscarriages of justice) and she seems to be complaining about the re-trials she has had to attend. Then she makes a very dubious comment about her dd's boyfriend, and no acknowledgement at all (as far as I could see) that two men spent a considerable amount of time in prison for a crime they did not commit.

As I said, I feel dreadful for this woman. But was it wrong of her to make that comment about Barri White? and not to acknowledge that they were very wronged too?

Of course she's allowed to state them but others are allowed to criticise her position when they vilify an innocent man

YANBU op.

Feel desperately sorry for her mother. All these years of hurt and pain. However IMO that does not mean that she should use a press interview to rub salt into the wound of the boyfriend who has served time wrongfully for murder and has then been in no man's land himself since

Well said may.

I expect many people listening to her statement would disagree with what she said. Yes, she's been through absolute hell but that doesn't mean she will get sympathy for publicly blaming an innocent man.

From what I gather after an article today, he did not abandon her, they had a row & both huffed off, she later rang the BF when she got lost and he & the friend then spent a considerable time looking for her, very worried, and returned home even more worried they couldn't find her & imagining all sorts.

I think it must be unimaginable to go through what the mother & the wider family did at the time and since & now with this re=opening the wounds and memories. Changingnames please offer her our condolences.

However she was out of order/badly advised whatever happened, it wasn't the strength of her feelings that was wrong but the way it was articulated. However it is understandable she is extremely upset by it all & not thinking straight.

At least now they have the real killer.

Mind maps - completely disagree but not looking for a fight.
I personally don't see why we expect certain behaviours of our victims families - they are just people after all and she's not saying she blames him and no one else - I'm really stunned that people feel she should be quiet and say nothing about her real feelings.

I agree that the major problem lies with seeking these interviews at all. What does it add? Anybody who's ever loved somebody can approach imagining the hell that murder must inflict. The statements of the family don't add to that. It's just a way of exposing enormously vulnerable people. I think the mother's view of Barri White is absolutely misguided and doubtless will do further damage to an innocent man. It is understandable that she has not paid regard to that but it's inexcusable that the media etc do not.

She said: "We believe Rachel would still be with us today if she had not been abandoned by her boyfriend the night she was attacked, killed and brutally battered. We cannot forget that."

That sounds pretty blaming to me Nerf.

The reason people think she shouldn't have said this so publicly, is because she is blaming White and I for one feel that blame is misplaced. He has suffered too, his life has been ruined also, she's basically just kicking him when he's down.

She does blame him, yes, but in times of terrible grief we don't always behave rationally. None of us know how we might react if we were standing in her shoes, and I'm not sure that analysing her comments and raking over what she should or should not have said really helps anyone . There but for the grace etc...

I can't come close to imagining what she has been through. I also can't imagine what it must be like to be put in prison for the murder of your girlfriend which you did not commit. And to be imprisoned for years and then living under the shadow of suspicion. And then to be public ally blamed for someone else's crime even after being exonerated.

Just because I haven't been in that position does not mean that I cannot feel that what has been publicly said is unfair and unreasonable.

Thank you, wannaBe.

SM, don't you think it was raw for Rachel's mum, then, to have to sit through another trial? To have it all dragged up again? It must be like having a scab ripped off. That sort of pain never goes away and to have it poked at again, well, writing about my brother's death on here has been upsetting enough for me, I hate to think what having to sit through another trial must have done to her.

I do think that the media should not be expecting (or publishing) statements from bereaved families, though. We did have the local paper chasing us for comment, thankfully 20 years ago there wasn't the internet or wrap around news and we could just put the phone down on them.

"She does blame him yes, but ..."

But she is wrong and I think it would have been wonderful if someone (family/friend/lawyer) could have read her statement first and advised her not to do it. All my concern in this is not to do with blaming her (who wants to do that?) but with how it must feel to Barri White.

100% agree quoteunquote.

And bumpotato agree with you also.

I am sure this lady is suffering every single day for this and I can't pretend i know how she is feeling, but I cant imagine it really helps anyone to lay blame at the feet of the bf. The only person responsible is the vile murderer.

I hope Rachel's family can get as much peace as possible now this man has been convicted, and hope the two men wrongly convicted can move on to more positive things.

Grief is all consuming, it's raw, it's big, it's uncontrolled, it's huge and rips through you and it's awful. It doesnt fade On a timeline, you dont just get over it on a schedule. Time doesnt necessarily make things unbearable, particularly not if the horror never really ends.

It's not mindful, it's not rational and it's not fair. And we shouldn't expect anything of her.

I think everyone involved has had an unimaginable time.

Really unfair to blame her murder on a man who loved her and did nothing wrong.

I can only imagine what Rachels family have been through over the last 13 years, but Barri White hasn't exactly had it easy either.

It was a poorly judged comment and I cannot believe there is anyone who actually agrees with her (apart from, perhaps, her immediate family) and so this is why she should have been advised not to say it. It shows her in an unsympathetic light, no matter how much people feel for her. Which is not helpful. Maybe she doesn't care what anyone thinks ... that is also her prerogative.

You're dead right OP.

She should be addressing her concerns to the police investigation, which seems wholly inadequate and dangerous.

It seems they lazily fitted up the easy people rather than putting themselves out looking for the real murdererer.

Other people who've been bereaved have managed to do that, so I'm not going to give her that.

Her anger is entirely misplaced and grotesque.

Her anger is entirely misplaced and grotesque

The woman lost a daughter in awful, tragic circumstances. Is it really appropriate or kind to judge her so harshly? She is going through something that, touch wood, none of us on here will ever have to go through. Let's please leave her alone in her grief

YANBU

I saw her statement on the news last night & thought it was an awful thing to say.

I know she's been through a terrible time, but so has he - trying to blame him for something that he had nothing to do with is awful. Grief may be an excuse, but it's a poor one. I thought her statement did her no favours at all....

I don't suppose she was trying to garner favours...

I feel terribly sad for her sirchenjin.

But she's very wrong.