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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pictures of sick child in hospital on FB?

452 replies

TheWomanWhoMisplacedHerHusband · 05/09/2013 07:15

Close-up shots of very sick child sleeping/with drip in arms/trying to smile for camera with balloons people have given them with updates like 'thanks for the balloon they cheered her up a bit' taken by parents have come up on my feed (they don't know what's wrong with child yet).
Aibu to be a bit shocked at these?

OP posts:
thebody · 05/09/2013 22:57

candy yes the op is inappropriate and I didn't mean you either.

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 05/09/2013 22:59

Jesus fucking Christ. Axure, you ought to be utterly ashamed of yourself. OP, you argue that this is AIBU, and that it is a place for opinions to be discussed, yet you tell other parents that their experiences aren't relevant, because their children were terminally ill. So it is a thread to discuss your opinions, not theirs. Hideous.

Re the photo issue. My good friend's DC was in NICU for a long time after being born. She shared photos on FB because she wanted to. Many parents share photos of their beautiful DCs on FB. She was so excited to have a gorgeous new son, she didn't see a vent and wires, she just saw the beautiful new baby that she was so in love with. She wanted everyone else to see that, too. Why should she have been denied a chance to show off her lovely new baby because he was poorly and that made some people uncomfortable.

Also, for the poster who talked about looking at it from the child's point of view. I was a very poorly child who was in hospital for the first six weeks of my life. There are no newborn photos of me. This has always upset me. We have loads of photos of both my siblings, all lovely and scrunchy-faced, snuggled up with my parents. Not a single one of me, as my folks were discouraged from taking photos of a sick baby. I'd give anything to see a baby photo of me, even if I was all ill and covered in tubes.

MrsDeVere and Expat, I'm really sorry you both had to read the shite on this thread.

MammaTJ · 05/09/2013 23:01

Twunk not looking like the window cleaner is always a good thing. Long may her remain unwindow cleaner like and return to his proper well self soon. You carry on posting on FB and I am sure your genuine friends will appreciate that.

Twunk · 05/09/2013 23:01

Actually DS2 was in NICU when he was born (he's led an eventful life!) so I am doubly to blame as I posted pics then too of my beautiful boy.

MrsDeVere · 05/09/2013 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twunk · 05/09/2013 23:03

Thanks mammatj

(He's not even a very good window cleaner)

Twunk · 05/09/2013 23:04

He'll be Chuffed to bits with the extra hug - he loves hugs Smile

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 05/09/2013 23:05

Also Twunk, I'm very sorry to hear that your son has leukaemia. Don't let nonsense like some of the posts on this thread put you off sharing. Share what you and he are going through here, on FB, wherever the fuck you want.

MammaTJ · 05/09/2013 23:05

That's even worse!! Grin

Get a better and better looking window cleaner and it would matter less. Wink and possibly offend less people Hmm

idiot55 · 05/09/2013 23:05

Eek I'm guilty of not reading all 14 pages.

I want to say my daughter spends a lot of time in hospital due to chronic illness and I have done Facebook pics, but If my child was indeed of comfort or my full attention, I wouldn't be thinking of doing it.

Twunk · 05/09/2013 23:08

idiot but does that leave you enough time for stroking faces? That's v v v v important I'm lead to believe.

poppetsaplenty · 05/09/2013 23:08

YABU OP. My child was ill for weeks and eventually admitted to hospital with suspected Leukaemia. As a single parent it was a very worrying time as I did not have any other support networks around me at that time; and it was a comfort to seek reassurance from people on my friends list who actually gave a shit. And also reassurance to my friends and family that tests were being done and we were in the right place.

It also occurred to me that if my son was seriously ill; this might be the only or last picture of me that I could take if he deteriorated and died.

But it was the attitude of somebody like you; someone on my 'friends' list who reported me to Social Services for putting up a picture of my son in hospital and I had to endure an investigation for it; and no action was taken; because I hadn't actually done anything wrong.

Maggietess · 05/09/2013 23:09

Jesus op when I think of the sad things you could have started this thread with like treatment options for childhood cancer, your disabled son, your life changing recent accident...

Or indeed the light hearted harry potter, which tomblyboo should I be, am I bu to eat a melon whole.....

This is the thread you thought you should a) start and b) defend.....?????????? Good god

Seriously...

BuntCadger · 05/09/2013 23:09

What a hideous OP. YABVU!

I have friends on FB who have children who have been in hospital for both minor and serious conditions. Never once have I been uncomfortable with them posting photos of their very much loved children, why on earth would I or anyone?

Twunk · 05/09/2013 23:11

Shock Poppets!!

OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly · 05/09/2013 23:12

When I think of all the hours I've sat in childrens wards/casualty/waiting rooms by my son''s bed...if I'd spent even a tiny fraction of them stroking his face and gazing lovingly into his eyes, he would have told me to sod off onto facebook and leave him alone!

MammaTJ · 05/09/2013 23:12

Oh no, are you not stroking your childs face Twunk how non irritating neglectful are you?

BellaTheGooseIsDead · 05/09/2013 23:12

This thread makes me want to share Lewis Jeynes and his updates.

I only started to follow him because he really wanted to have x amount of likes on a tough day for him and a MNer came on to ask.

There were two or three replies but the lurkers bumped it up.

Lots of graphic pics there and to be honest, when your child is that ill and you think you will lose them, why not utilise and harness support?

MammaTJ · 05/09/2013 23:13

Aw Poppets, did you know who it was so you could delete them? How awful to go through that as well as having an ill child.

BellaTheGooseIsDead · 05/09/2013 23:14

poppet! Shock

Twunk · 05/09/2013 23:16

I've constructed a face-stroking machine. Face is being gently buffed 24 hours a day. It gives me time for my online poker habit and some light chemical-weapons trading. Cos I am evil, obviously.

MammaTJ · 05/09/2013 23:17

Clearly Twunk, I need your real name and address so I can report you to SS as per Poppets post!!

Joking aside, hope all turns out well for you, must be scary as hell!

Twunk · 05/09/2013 23:21

We're doing okay. The nurse appears to be monitoring me for signs of mental distress. Within the current circumstances we're fine - I'd say coping pretty well, obviously things are hard and we are never 100% relaxed, but yeah...we'll get there.

twistyfeet · 05/09/2013 23:23

if I waited until my child was tube free we'd never get any pics! Thankfully my fb is family and friends who are supportive, rather than twats who think any pics I post are 'attention seeking'.
fb is a life saver when you are in hospital for weeks on end or at a children's hospice and aother child you know has died and you just need to talk. Because clearly MN isnt going to be with the twat ratio.

twistyfeet · 05/09/2013 23:23

Twunk