AIBU to ask my mum not to hit a cushion while saying 'naughty cushion'?

[DH2R]

DW and I don't have a lot of 'rules' we're following while bringing up DD, but one we do have is that hitting is not done, in any form, to anything, ever.

This evening for the fourth time in about 2 months, I had to ask her not to hit a cushion, while saying 'naughty cushion'.

Caused a bit of upset.

Am I being unreasonable?

DP used to live on a farm. He says you should never punch a goose, the only thing to do if one is attacking you/DC is to snap its neck apparently. Their wings are very strong and they can break an adult's arm.

Mind you, I have an ex-step-grandmother-in-law who used to bend over and enthusiastically smack her own bottom if she accidentally knocked over a child's brick tower or similar. DS was like this

I used to have a cushion-humping cat. In the end we had to give him his own wanky-blanky. Most embarrassing when we had visitors.

OP, have you you tried stuffing your cushions with bricks? That would teach your mother in a non-configurational way?

Is that why pin cushions went out of fashion? Cruelty to cushions?

Non-confrontational even. Ahem.

OP, have you you tried stuffing your cushions with bricks?

So now it is ok to pick on bricks? Whatever next!!!

Does the cushion being smacked have a picture of a goose and/or vernon Kay on it?

Is it frowned upon to smack cushions these days? My mum often smacked our cushions and they turned out just fine. Infact I have 2 strapping threadbare 20 year olds sitting next to me now. Geeez the advice changes so much I just can't keep up.

Remember, guidelines are just that, your Mum knows best.

DH2R has disappeared. Perhaps she's at a NSPCC fundraising event.

Thanks for all the replies... well, some of them :)

In answer to some of the questions...

DD had tripped over said cushion, and hurt herself.

DD is coming up to 2 years old.

I don't have a problem with rough and tumble with cushions - or anything within reason.

The problem I have is the very clear demonstration that when something (not that laterally therefore, someone) by action or inaction, has resulted in something bad happening, the way to respond is to retaliate, and particularly to do so with some form of violence.

Regardless I feel that even if the rule we'd set was bonkers - it's a rule we've set. MiL should, surely, accept that. This is the fourth time it's been mentioned now.

--

To the person who suggested that I demonstrate all that is wrong with the world... I wonder, ironically, if in fact the opposite might be the case ;)

Oh.

O. M. G.

Your Mum or your MIL OP?

You've said both.

Either way, ask her to put the cushion in time out on the naughty step next time.

Well, you can make the rule, that's fine but it's the sort of thing that people tend to do automatically out of habit so she may well forget. And if she does your daughter will still probably grow up to be a decent human being.

Maybe you could condition her to finger-wag instead.

toddlers finger-wagging are just about the cutest thing EVA!

I've always had dd smacking the floor/couch/door when she hurt her self jumping off them because she'd beat them and carry on playing happily rather than crying but I think you're perfectly reasonable to expect your rules and values to be upheld. There's nothing more annoying than people teaching your child things which you believe to be wrong or a hindrance to their development despite repeated polite requests not to do so.

yadnbu.

That is condition your mother to finger-wag instead and so model that instead of smacking.

Yabu. As I have got older I have realised that 'don't sweat the small stuff' is a good mantra. Controlling your poor mothers conversations with soft furnishings is a step too far.

That really. In the kindest way imaginable, get over yourself. You will look back on this in years to come and laugh at how petty you were being. You cannot control how the rest of the world interacts with your daughter. You and your dh do whatever you think is best...don't be so overwrought about it as to fall out with family over nonsense like this.

If it's done in quite a serious way, it's not brill. However, if it's done as a completely daft way with the clear intention of distracting a child from their hurt knee and making them laugh like a loon at the silly antics of the adult and everyone is in on the joke, it's ok.

I used this very effectively with all 3 DS s , the youngest of whom is now 12, and there have been no ill effects at all - except maybe their sense of humour is now as batty as mine .

I am also the mum who asked - mock outraged - did you make that hole in my door? How dare you. Poor door.

So I do think YABU

My mum used to do this as well btw. The kids laughed and the tears were forgotten.
Don't be a lemon face.

Oooh I say that! Oh look - you've put a crack in the pavement! Toddler starts eyeing pavement with wonder...tears forgotten.

DH2R you sound so incredibly earnest.

Trust me your 2 year old will not suffer if she witnesses her DM/DMIL patting cushions (I somehow imagine she isn't beating them with sticks). However, to embarrass and 'correct' your DM/DMIL for doing something that is rather silly is cruel. Poor woman, she'll end up being unable to relax around you and your child for fear of doing or saying the wrong thing.

I'm sure you have strong views on how children should be raised but I suspect even you will, from time to time, get it wrong.

Your DM/MIL not her's

Well frankly if the cushion leapt of the sofa and tripped up your DD,it deserved all it got.

Sounds like a right cunt,that cushion.

Only cos the thread is a massive over-reaction, do I thought I'd join in!

But Usual you don't know what the kid did to deserve it. I've seen things happen to helpless cushions that would make your hair curl....