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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not like seeing toddlers on iPads/iphones in restaurants?

256 replies

BlackberriesAhoy · 02/09/2013 08:51

My first Aibu so I'm wearing flame retardant pants.

My dc are now past the needing entertaining at the table stage (thank jeff for that) but when they were younger (they are both still at primary school now so not ancient) we made the decision to not have electronic devices in restaurants. We took crayons, paper, a small box of Lego, games etc with us.

Please don't think I'm a pious non-electrical device using git. Dc would spend all day if possible on minecraft. They have DSs which they use on long journeys but a restaurant IMO is not the place for electronic stuff.

A few weeks ago we were at pizza express and a couple and their toddler were there. The parents alternately (and at one time both) sat using their phones at the table (texting etc) while their bored toddler roamed about the restaurant. Are we going to be raising children who cannot just sit around a table a eat/talk/entertain themselves without being plugged into something if we let them use iPads etc when out eating?

I remember the hell of taking toddlers out, I do understand but still...

OP posts:

Sirzy · 02/09/2013 17:30

by saying you don't like seeing it, describing it as a "zonked out look" sounds pretty judgemental to me!

Pinkpinot · 02/09/2013 17:35

Er no I don't like seeing it, is a personal opinion and I don't like the zoned out( did I say zonked, didn't mean that) refers to my child
I looked at the table next to me and thought, yes I could give my child a phone and my life would be easier.
I did not judge them, their child is completely different to mine

ToysRLuv · 02/09/2013 17:36

Pink: I understand what you mean and good for you! Only that has nothing to do with the shunning of "instant gratification". I think most parents with a "difficult" child try to increase their attention/patience span the way you are doing, but would simply get the devices out at the same moment as you'd judge it time to leave on account of ds having had enough. You can further stretch a child that way, so you can have a hot lukewarm coffee after a meal and a stress free chat with another adult for another 10 mins.

sameoldIggi · 02/09/2013 17:36

They use iPads in schools now too you know. Maybe the kids were doing their homework

Spottybra · 02/09/2013 17:37

Mmmm, I would say YABU in your opening title but not in your gripe about parents on phones and toddlers running around.

Since DS was 20 months we've had child friendly apps. At 4yrs he now plays alphabet and maths games with a parent whilst we wait for a meal. DD at 2yrs prefers the xylophone and drum apps.

We do however, put our phones away when the meal arrives and talk about the food, what we can see through the windows, our day, etc.... Together as a family.

If we didn't I would be controlling 2 small restless and hungry children whilst DH texted, emailed, and took business calls.

Sirzy · 02/09/2013 17:38

I can't stand the zoned out look, and it just generally feels like they aren't part of the family

You may not have meant to sound judgemental but to me that sounds it

sameoldIggi · 02/09/2013 17:38

Dirty face, don't you think the gender differences between your and your friend's dcs might have had something to do with it too?

Pinkpinot · 02/09/2013 17:41

Sirzy, I'm talking about my ds and my family!

bakingaddict · 02/09/2013 17:43

I really dont care as to what way a parent gets a young child to be moderately well behaved in a restsurant as long as it achieves the same net result i.e allows yourself as a family and all the other diners to enjoy their meal too. Why the need to look down on other parents. Nobody sets out on the premise whereby you think I want to have a crap time with naughty kids spending nearly a hundred pound and have the rest of the restaurant look down at me but you know shit sometimes happens and you have to deal with it by whatever means possible

Pinkpinot · 02/09/2013 17:45

Do my posts seriously read like I am looking down my nose at families with iPads? Or I have we'll behaved children in restaurants?
I swear I'm not, and I don't have!

Sirzy · 02/09/2013 17:45

Your post doesn't make that clear though in any way and people aren't psychic!

Pinkpinot · 02/09/2013 17:52

Maybe I should have given my entire life story with ds

Crumbledwalnuts · 02/09/2013 17:53

entertaining a child in a restaurant doesn't mean you aren't teaching them manners

it can't be just me who entertained children in restaurants with crayons and even nintendoes eventually and now has children with manners who know how to behave in restaurants

klmnop · 02/09/2013 17:54

YABU. I am not a lazy parent! I spend alot of time actively engaging with my 21 month old doing all manner of activities, however I don't think it is unreasonable to want to be able to enjoy my meal when out as a family. Crayons and toys are all very well and entertain her for a while, but they get thrown around and on the floor and I end up spending all my time picking them up while my food goes cold. I really don't think it's unreasonable for her to watch Peppa for 10-15 minutes on the Ipad while my husband and I finish our food. We always have the volume down low so I actually think it's less intrusive on other diners experience than the toys and crayons option which frequently involves me having to get up or ask my little girl to be careful! Technology is part and parcel of the world we live in and with regard to apps, many of them are just as involving as crayons and toys.

bakingaddict · 02/09/2013 18:00

Nobody needs to divulge life stories but just perhaps a bit of compassion and sympathy for parents who dont have model behaved children. BTW I do have well behaved kids in restaurants but my heart goes out to parents who have more difficult to control kids

ToysRLuv · 02/09/2013 18:01

For the record, I would LOVE it if ds was into drawing or colouring. I was constantly drawing at his age. I mean, constantly. I must have been an easy to entertain child in that respect. However, in those days drawing was frowned upon in restaurants (not that we really ever went, anyway)..

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/09/2013 18:02

Yanbu.

Pinkpinot · 02/09/2013 18:02

Erm-I don't have a well behaved child, I thought that was clear from the start

forthill · 02/09/2013 18:03

The problem with these internet forums is that people get entrenched in their positions, sometimes with ridiculous outcomes. Most people are decent, and are just trying to do a good job raising their children.

Is there anyone on this thread who would actually inflict a toddler meltdown on diners in a restaurant rather than handing over the iPad IF they were aware that an iPad would avert said meltdown?

In other words, does your determination to keep your toddler away from an iPad trump other people's right to a quiet meal?

If so, maybe you are guilty of thinking the word revolves around your little one. Perhaps in this case it might be better to avoid restaurants until the toddler years are over.

bakingaddict · 02/09/2013 18:07

Well said Forthill

forthill · 02/09/2013 18:46

Anyone...?

Hellooo....?

............[whispers] does that mean the argument is over?

Sirzy · 02/09/2013 18:47

Well I think you are spot on forthill

ToysRLuv · 02/09/2013 18:49

Cocodale · 02/09/2013 18:52

I agree, I'm always surprised to see very young children glued to iPads when waiting places such as at siblings clubs.

My children are older but I used to talk to them and read/play games while we were out my now 13 yr old loved coming out for a drink with me at a cafe as a toddler.

ToysRLuv · 02/09/2013 19:03

Maybe not, forthill..

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