To not like seeing toddlers on iPads/iphones in restaurants?

[BlackberriesAhoy]

My first Aibu so I'm wearing flame retardant pants.

My dc are now past the needing entertaining at the table stage (thank jeff for that) but when they were younger (they are both still at primary school now so not ancient) we made the decision to not have electronic devices in restaurants. We took crayons, paper, a small box of Lego, games etc with us.

Please don't think I'm a pious non-electrical device using git. Dc would spend all day if possible on minecraft. They have DSs which they use on long journeys but a restaurant IMO is not the place for electronic stuff.

A few weeks ago we were at pizza express and a couple and their toddler were there. The parents alternately (and at one time both) sat using their phones at the table (texting etc) while their bored toddler roamed about the restaurant. Are we going to be raising children who cannot just sit around a table a eat/talk/entertain themselves without being plugged into something if we let them use iPads etc when out eating?

I remember the hell of taking toddlers out, I do understand but still...

I hate to see this as well, but hey, life is kind of hard when you've got a toddler, particularly at restaurants.

When my were this age there were no Ipads so I pretty much avoided restaurants from the age of 1 - 2 or 2.5. I just wouldn't go, it was too hard. Maybe this doesn't actually mean that the family is disengaged, but rather it means that families that would otherwise stay home can take their other kids out to dinner.

I think it's okay for DC's to use it for entertainment whilst waiting for food but weirdly it annoys me when adults do it. Yes fine when you are waiting for your food not when you are with family and friends I just think it's rude but thats just my opinion. Believe it or not my 53yo DM is the worst culprit for this. We went out for Lunch yesterday and as we was waiting in the queue there was a couple with a Toddler. Poor girl looked bored out of her mind whilst both Parents were on their phones over their Sunday Dinner :( ~

Agree completely. It's more convenient for the parents to avoid having to 'entertain' their own child so out comes the screen.

Not always, and not for everyone.

But all of you, feel free to sit in judgement.

I wonder what aspects of your parenting I would take issue with?

Yabu. iPads are the 20th century equivalent of crayons etc. I agree with this so another YABU.

My family eat out much more than DH and I did as children. I don't remember halcyon days of family interaction. On the rare occasions we went out it was very boring. Once in a blue moon when my parents went to the pub we were left in a "children's room". This was a unsupervised room of bullies with a pinball machine in it.

DS gets loads of love and attention. We will often stop off for something to eat after a day at the park. library etc. He has attention lavished on him. I also think it is good for him to entertain himself for short spells.

I do carry a paper pad and pens; we also have a ds, tablet and phone. They are used exclusively on long journeys and when eating out. DS isn't really interested in them at any other time.

Judge away. We don't have babysitters and at home eat at the table without tv/electronics.

Also I bet the OP would be the first to start a thread saying "I hate seeing DCs running about in restaurants".

Some of us have no babysitters, it would be great to be able to eat out sans kids or at least minus DD2 when she was small, but it's not possible.

At 12, she's just getting easier to take out. Not because she's naughty, but because food isn't exciting to her. She eats to stay alive that's it. Then she wants to be off playing. She can do adult chatter beautifully when she wants to, but generally doesn't with her parents, because they are parents

It's not lazy arsed parenting. There were crayons, now there are ipads. Ours are older, all phones go in the middle of the table not to be touched. But when they were little it was crayons and colouring in.

it all depends on what is being done on the ipad/ipod, surely. and how it is being done.

my children are, as often as not, 'glued to a screen' during wait times.

my eldest has severe ASD, and an ipad is a Good Thing, believe me. However, look a little more closely, and you'll see that the activities are varied: reading, spelling and maths for starters. If the wait time goes on, then a bit of piano practice, or colouring will creep in. Stories, telling the time - all this done while waiting for lunch to arrive!

My younger child likewise uses an ipod (also has Aspergers). Probably not as essential in this case, but not a lot wrong with it, and the range of activities is as above.

I really don't see any difference in colouring on a ipad or colouring on paper (except no dropped crayons, and never running out of paper). Stories are stories, and having many to hand immediately is a bonus. And getting any reading/spelling/maths work done (and making them think it is fun!) is *always& a good thing.

The problem of parents ignoring is either going to happen or not, whether using real paper/crayons, lego, whatever. Some parents ignore, others don't.

YABU.

^ Fair point. There are people who don't allow their kids any screen time at all. What would they say, OP?

My boss allows his EIGHT YEAR OLD daughter to watch only the occasional David Attenborough DVD (true story - we visited them for a week). I try to remember this when I'm feeling judgy.

I'm with you on this OP.

Also I bet the OP would be the first to start a thread saying "I hate seeing DCs running about in restaurants".

Yes to this^^

I have seen so many threads on here about noisy children running around in restaurants etc, and am aware that ds can be very noisy and whilst not running around, tries to lie down on the carpet. Dh and I spend half the time taking him for walks to try and keep him entertained, but sometimes it is nice to be able to all sit down together and enjoy being out together, that would be why you might see our 3 year old 'glued' to an ipad whilst we are out in a cafe or restaurant.

I work on the basis that as long as other peoples kids are not spoiling my enjoyment of a meal out, quite frankly I don't care what they are doing to keep them occupied.

We always take gadgets with us. They don't start off with them but after a while the colouring in gets boring and I would actually like to relax myself.

Ok I have two children with ASD. If we don't take an iPad or portable DVD player with us then the alternative is shouting, screaming and other non socially acceptable noise which I think is probably worse than the electronic device. Believe me I would love to converse with my dc whilst we have a lovely family dinner out but as my two children can't speak and also can't actually eat at the same table together more often than not then that's out. Why can't people stop judging others? Since my children were diagnosed I have managed to stop doing this. If I see something that I disapprove of I take a deep breath and repeat 'its none of my business'. Yes it's nicer your way op and that's great that you can have that and that your kids are beautifully brought up etc etc. it isn't that easy for everyone else.

YABU

I have no problem with my child or anyone else's playing jigsaw games, puzzles, reading stories etc or even playing non educational games on a 'device' if it makes eating out a more pleasant experience for all concerned. With toddler s in particular parents usually have to help them pay the games anyway, and they are just as interactive as books, crayons and other tools.

I would probably get a bit more judgey if they were basically watching tv at the table especially with the sound turned up. Anything that disrupts other diners is not acceptable. Like with any tools or devices, there are appropriate and less appropriate ways to use them.

Yabu. Toddlers are reluctant dining companions at the best of times but in public where their behaviour can ruin several people's meals it is sometimes necessary to use a distraction and an iPhone/ipad/DVD player is a good option because it is compact, has a wide variety of things to entertain and it keeps dc quiet.

The alternative may be staying in and that's a bit miserable or going out and being a nuisance.

Those of you who feel electronic items are some how less worthy are on a par with those who think small children should only play with wooden toys.

DS (3) is so unimpressed by food and restaurants (very picky and meagre eater) that we hardly ever go out to eat in a "proper" wait-for-your-food fashion. When we do go out "properly" (maybe twice a year for family gatherings), I do everything bar handstands (he dislikes drawing/colouring and doesn't care for lego, which I think is inappropriate for restaurants anyway, for being fiddly and loud when pieces inevitably fall on the floor or creations get dismantled on the table) to entertain him and then take the kindle out, so I can scoff down my (by now) cold meal in 5 mins flat. That is, until he gets bored with electronics and wants to run around, which I will not allow.

I recognise that at his age he is not always able or willing to sit still for long periods of time, and I can't reasonably make him, so will wait a few years until I try to have more than a quick grab of food at a cafe. Not all children are the same and I'm sure most parents try their best to raise "proper future citizens", but they might get there in different ways. I'm sure DS won't want to scoff down his tiny meal in 2 mins and then run around pretending to be a train when he is in his 30s, but maybe he will?

We never went to restaurants when I was his age. If we went and "misbehaved", we could be threatened with a smack. I guess that would make most children sit down quietly in a way that looks "sophisticated"..

Agree completely. It's more convenient for the parents to avoid having to 'entertain' their own child so out comes the screen

Sweeping statement much?

My DD usually takes her iTouch out with us. sometimes she doesn't want to use it. Sometimes she likes to play something with us. Just because she doesn't have a bit of paper/a crayon in front of her, doesn't mean we aren't interacting.

we have the absolute rule in our family of no phones/devices on the table whilst we're eating. Works for us.

Do what works for you.

Although I must say that I'm not impressed with devices turned on loud. Either have them on quietly/silently or use headphones. If possible.

This sums it up for me, beautifully. Hope the link works..

gawker.com/short-film-about-smartphone-overuse-is-smart-poignant-1189811144

..er no it hasn't, sorry.

I don't see how something electronic is much different from a pad and pen or some Lego. I usually have an ipad on me (I don't have a smart phone) and it has some books on it (Wind in the Willows is a lovely one). I get it out whilst we wait for our food and read quietly to the DC. Once the food comes it goes away and usually stays away unless we have coffee/chat with friends.

I don't like seeing children playing on games etc when there's food at the table, but don't see the issue otherwise.

gawker.com/short-film-about-smartphone-overuse-is-smart-poignant-1189811144

Dd uses the one of many drawing apps on our IPad. Thus covering all bases. Is that ok?