To not like seeing toddlers on iPads/iphones in restaurants?

[BlackberriesAhoy]

My first Aibu so I'm wearing flame retardant pants.

My dc are now past the needing entertaining at the table stage (thank jeff for that) but when they were younger (they are both still at primary school now so not ancient) we made the decision to not have electronic devices in restaurants. We took crayons, paper, a small box of Lego, games etc with us.

Please don't think I'm a pious non-electrical device using git. Dc would spend all day if possible on minecraft. They have DSs which they use on long journeys but a restaurant IMO is not the place for electronic stuff.

A few weeks ago we were at pizza express and a couple and their toddler were there. The parents alternately (and at one time both) sat using their phones at the table (texting etc) while their bored toddler roamed about the restaurant. Are we going to be raising children who cannot just sit around a table a eat/talk/entertain themselves without being plugged into something if we let them use iPads etc when out eating?

I remember the hell of taking toddlers out, I do understand but still...

[jungletoes]

Yay, it worked that time. It's worth a view.

[BuntyCollocks]

My ds is 2, and if we dare to go to a restaurant, it is armed at least with an iPhone, if not an iPad. He doesn't give a shit about crayons, and his idea of playing with his trains is currently to smash them as hard as he can into things.

An app, or an episode of Thomas on YouTube, lets us all eat in relative harmony. YABU.

He'll be more social when he's older, but ATM, I need to think we can actually join the wider world on a rare occasion and eat out, and I prefer to do it without a toddler melt down and the associated judgey looks.

Although, maybe I'm getting them anyway, according to your op.

[Soditall]

I hate all the fascination with phones and computers that children seem to have from such a young age now.So I agree with you OP,I've taken my children to restaurants since they were only a few weeks old and I've never taken anything electronic to keep any of them occupied.

I do wonder sometimes what the much older generations 60+ must think when they see the way we parent these days.

[JerseySpud]

There is no need for a 1,2,3,4 year old to know how to use an ipad/iphone.

None.

[hazeyjane]

That is great, Soditall, but not all children or families are the same, most people are just doing their best you know.

As for older people looking in wonder at children on ipads etc, do you really think that if these things had been around 50 years ago, they wouldn't have used them?

[hazeyjane]

JerseySpud, the ipad we have actually belongs to ds (3), it is great for him, he enjoys drawing apps, tracing apps and games that help with matching and fine motor skills. As he gets older, it will be incredibly useful for him to have skills on the ipad as part of his education.He is completely non verbal and we are hoping to get funding for an ipad app that can be used as a communication device - believe me there is every need for him to know how to use one. It has been an amazing tool for him.

[Parmarella]

It does not bother me, I might well have used it if it existed when they were younger.

I remember the debate, similar to this, how walkmans ( personal stereo) were going to turn my generation into anti-social addicts.

[ToysRLuv]

There is no actual need for children to do much else but eat, sleep and go to the toilet. The rest is choices and they vary with each parent and each child. Quite validly. My dgf used to play with sticks and pebbles. They were very poor. He now loooooves tge telly .

[Parmarella]

Soditall, in my family the ONE person most addicted to his ipad is my 78 year old dad...he is no longer allowed to use it during dinner though

[Fleurdebleurgh]

I work in a restaurant. Id rather every table was filled with kids on Ipads etc than running around under my feet waiting to get hot coffee spilt all over them.

SIT YOUR CHILDREN DOWN WHILST YOU ARE EATING.

[Faithless12]

There is no need for a 1,2,3,4 year old to know how to use an ipad/iphone

How about knowing how to build one? In the next few weeks DS and I are building a computer so I can ignore him some more.

[Lottapianos]

'There is evidence that regular exposure to screens (TV, iPad, iPhone etc) causes problems with children's developing attention and listening skills, and language skills. Official advice (from the American Journal of Paediatrics) is that under 2 year olds should have no screen time whatsoever and 2-3 year olds should have only half an hour a day'

It can actually cause harm needaholidaynow, especially for under 2s

[Lottapianos]

Why are the only two alternatives
a) kids running wild, lying on the floor, screaming etc
b) watching something on a screen?

[forthill]

We went out to a restaurant while on holiday on a Scottish island, and used the ipad to stop a toddler meltdown.

Our 2 year old is usually great in restaurants, but that evening she was very loud and difficult. We had all the usual paraphernalia - crayons, books, craft kit etc. None of it distracted our fractious little girl. To give the other diners some peace, I had to stand outside in the rain with her while we waited for our food to arrive. I suddenly realised we had the ipad, to my great relief.

I don't think a single diner in that small restaurant hoiked up their judgey pants at the sight of a toddler with an ipad. They were all so relieved that she had stopped squawking.

You've got to go with the flow in life, rather than rigidly applying one-size-fits-all rules.

[Fakebook]

YABU. I'll give my toddler whatever it takes to keep him from screaming (and he has the shrillest scream you'll ever hear).

I get a few disapproving looks from hoity toity types when I've given my DS the iPhone in the pushchair and he's happily scrolling through an alphabet app. I don't care though. A few moments peace for me and the general public whilst I whip around the shop to pick up bits is better than a screaming child who'll deafen everyone.

[baddriver]

What about at church? Kids huddled round an iPad on the floor. Seemed kinda strange to me...

[LadyBryan]

How about Kindles?

My daughter (6) sometimes reads books on mine - is that ok?! Great stuff for "boring" waits like GPs, opticians etc.

Surely as with anything it is about how you use it. To be honest I don't see how shoving a piece of paper with a pack of crayons at a child is any more interacting than giving them a device. Of course you can interact with children with a variety of things.

But then I suspect the gripe in this thread isn't so much what the children are using but whether the parents are interacting.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

When a child is on an electronic device they are withdrawn from the social element of eating6

Which of course they're not when drawing... You've obviously never tried to hold a conversation with my 5yo when she's drawing!

[MrsOakenshield]

well, we don't have any devices to give DD, so she has had to learn to behave in restaurants without these! It can be hard work for us, but she is (I hope) learning how to behave in these places which is a good thing, surely. Even if we've gone out to eat spur of the moment, a napkin and a biro can suffice. She doesn't run around or screech, we supervise her closely and if things are taking a while we take her out for a few minutes and go and chivvy the kitchen along.

I'm not against these things in general, but I think learning to get on without them is good. I kind of think (sorry, this is going to sound very smug, which is not how I mean it to be) that because it's such an easy option, some (though not all) parents just had the phone over immediately without making any attempt to try something else. I know someone who automatically, without ever trying anything else, hands her son the phone when he has to go in the buggy - in fact, I can't remember the last time he didn't have it.

[hazeyjane]

Why are the only two alternatives
a) kids running wild, lying on the floor, screaming etc
b) watching something on a screen?

I don't think anyone is saying that? Most people are saying that the ipad is useful when their dcs are starting to get bored and starting to play up.

[Ev1lEdna]

I work in a restaurant. Id rather every table was filled with kids on Ipads etc than running around under my feet waiting to get hot coffee spilt all over them.

SIT YOUR CHILDREN DOWN WHILST YOU ARE EATING.

Right, I agree. Better that than in danger of getting under-foot or getting scalded. I find the tablet etc rather useful, even with my older children and make no apologies for it. We also sometimes play boxes together and/or talk - it's a mix. Honestly - if you don't want YOUR child to play on them, fine but really quit the judgmental crap and mind your own business about other people's parenting. It really isn't affecting you.

[hazeyjane]

Yes, MrsOakenshield, and my dd's also sit nicely (most of the time) when we are out, and never look at the ipad etc when we are out. BUT all children are different, and ds is another story. He will sit for a short time, and be entertained with some drawing for a short time, but when it starts getting difficult, for the sake of some nice family time with our dds and for the sake of everyone else in the cafe, then yes we will get the ipad out.

[DukeSilver]

YANBU.

I think it's sad. I have a very very strong willed 3 year old so I know the appeal of an easy distraction but really try to avoid it at all costs.

I got offered a free tablet a couple of weeks ago but turned it down because I was worried I would let her use it too much to give me an easy life.

[tomverlaine]

YABU- lack of interaction is the problem not the entertainment device.
For what its worth - why aren't you concerned about interacting with your children in a car journey?