To think that an uncle IS a close relative?

[Watto1]

My uncle sadly passed away a few days ago. His funeral is on Thursday next week. My boss says that I can't have compassionate leave to go to his funeral as compassionate leave is 'for close relatives only.'

I will be going regardless, using my annual leave rather than compassionate leave, but AIBU to think that an uncle should be considered a close relative?

An uncle is probably not immediate as immediate is generally those who live with you or your nuclear family but an uncle is a close relative. Theres a difference
between immediate and close . immediate family is parents siblings children spouse. Close family is also your non immediate family who are generally aunts, uncles ,grandparents, first cousins. id say any further than a 1st cousin is not really a close relative anymore

close family is parents siblings children grandparents /children. aunts and uncles , first cousins . immediate family is parents ,siblings and children

I wouldn't consider an uncle a close relative. Compassionate leave is for relationships that might cause grief rather than a vague feeling of sadness. Spouses, parents and children, not sure I'd even include siblings.

I know this is an old thread. Do you really not think your uncle or sibling dying could cause grief?!

My work has the same policy. It’s shit. My colleague wasn’t allowed compassionate leave for her uncle dying even though he was her last living relative and had been a father figure since her own dad died when she was a little girl. It should be up to the bereaved person to determine if someone is a close relative or not.

i really find it bizarre how some say an uncle (a parents sibling) is not a close relative. you are quite close in the family tree and you afe closely related. you are not distantly related to an uncle . A distant relative is a 2nd/3rd cousin , not an uncle. they should just use the term immediate instead of close. stupid really

exactly it really pisses u off . An uncle is nothing but a close relative. why are some people acting like its a 3rd cousin you are on about. An uncle is your freaking MUM OR DADS SIBLING FFS. its bloody close. Think of all the memories you have with an uncle . your grandparents are his frecking parents . you are your uncles niece or nephew bloody hell .Honestly,sorry for sounding rude but some responses here are ridiculous .

I think it's subjective. I haven't seen my aunts and uncles in YEARS. I probably wouldn't go to their funerals now, I don't know them.
My DH on the other hand sees his somewhat regularly, I probably know his aunts and uncles more than my own and would want to go to their funerals but not a chance my employer would consider that. ☹️

I also agree that you should be allowed a set number to use on who you want.

Can you take unpaid leave? Sorry about your loss.

genetically they are close i mean they share 25% the same. literally though some people are not close to their siblings does that mean they are not close relatives. 🙄

some people are not close with their aunts or uncles does not mean they are not close relatives.

An uncle is your freaking MUM OR DADS SIBLING FFS. its bloody close. Think of all the memories you have with an uncle . your grandparents are his frecking parents . you are your uncles niece or nephew bloody hell

Just because you are related by blood doesnt mean you are close.

My dad has 4 siblings - three sisters and a brother. We havent seen nor spoken to my "uncle" or his family since I was about 10 due to the fact his wife physically assaulted my sister at a family part when she was drunk which culminated in a broken collar bone for my sister and a restraining order against my "aunt". Then he tried to rip off my grandparents and sell their house from under them as my nan was dying of cancer and my grandads Parkinsons became beyond her care. As far as my father and his sisters are concerned, they dont have a brother, and since their parents have passed, and their estate was settled they have literally zero ties to them. I have 3 cousins that I havent seen for 20 years, and I wouldnt know them if they stood in front of me and have no inclination to find them.

So no, I'd rather not think back on the memories of that uncle and I would appreciate people considering the nuances of familial relationships before spouting off broad generalisations.

It's usual practice unfortunately. A few years ago my husbands granny died (his whole family is from a different country) whilst we were there on holiday. They rushed the funeral so we could attend and not have to fly over again on work time. 4 weeks later his other grandmother died and my employer refused a single day. Thankfully my manager said just go and I won't say anything about you not being in. I never forgot her kindness and always went the extra mile for her

fair enough i know its not all about how they are genetically related to you but people generalise too much in terms of if they have a bad experience with relatives they want others to think the same way. some people are quite close with their aunties or uncles some aint. if you look at it a relationship that has a proper mame such as parents siblings grandparents aunties uncles even first cousins are close but say ur dads cousin is what people still call an "uncle" but is not a true uncle . The real term for it is first cousin once removed. people have their own opinions but an uncle is a close relative from a genetic standpoint

Sorry to hear that there seems to be so little compassion around compassionate leave.

A couple of years ago someone I was very close to passed away. it was my best friend's dad. I'd been on holiday many times with them as a teenager, saw him regularly in adulthood and he was honestly like a second father to me.

My workplace was kind enough to recognize it for what it was and I got a day CL to attend the funeral, even though it wasn't a relative of any sort.

Compassionate leave policies do not usually cover uncles. It is usually spouse or partner, children, parents, grandparents and siblings.

funny thing is why are you allowed for grandparents but not aunties or uncles . they are equally related more or less genetically. if grandparents are not immediate famiy then why it imcludes them but not uncles silly really

woah. you were lucky. if they can give it for a best friends dad then for an uncle should u undoubtedly get it. Why do these employerrs love limiting people?

Sorry for your loss, OP .

I gave CL for an uncle but that was because the person had lost a lot of elderly relatives through covid so it was more cumulative. I was glad to be able to use discretion but I think a line needs to be drawn, unfortunately, and special cases (such as if someone was brought up by their aunt, say) considered. I would prefer that to an allowance.

I do think that annual leave approvals should be turned over quickly in such circumstances, regardless of normal notice periods.

oops!! didn't notice how old the OP was!

In reality, it depends on the family. My aunts on my Mums side I’m very close to, my uncles on my dad’s side not so much.

However I don’t think most work places allow you additional paid leave for this - you have to take annual leave at my work place or maybe flexi if you have it.

ZOMBIE THREAD. REALLY ANCIENT ONE AT THAT

Agree with spouses, children, siblings and parents. Anything other I’ve never considered taking anything but annual leave.

fair enough but an aunty or uncle is a close relative but not immediate

An aunt or uncle (blood) is a close relative. you are their niece or nephew. i dont understand how they are not .

An aunt is a closr but not immediate relative. right?

Me and oh disagree with this. It depends on the family. In my family I'm close to my uncles. In his family he had so many aunts and uncles (his mum had 8 brothers and sisters) so barely knows them.

So yeah imo am uncle can be and is a close relative!