To hate anything other than the term "fart"

[DrinkFromMyFountain]

I know it's a bit uncouth to hear small children yelling "someone's farted" but the phrases pump, pop, trump, parp and fluff really make me cringe!

Let off wind is probably the only other phrase that doesn't make my teeth itch!

What do your children call it?

OP YANBU

A fart is a fart. Excellent for teaching German whereby your father is your
Vater or Vati (Pronounced farter/farty) and a passage through is a Durchfahrt. This from the language that defines diarrhoea as fall-through (Durchfall).

I once turned down a shag from a bloke - why? Because he farted then said poot poot to cover his embarassment. I think i'd have rather he wafted the duvet in my face to be honest.

But all time teeth-itch goes to this:

flabby woof-woof

It comes from the Blackadder episode "Beer"
(Lord Melchett has a hangover, but Queen and Nursie think he's sick)
Queen: Well, hurry up and cure the horrible man -- I'm fed up with him lying there moaning and groaning...
Nursie: ...and letting off such great and fruitsome flabby woof-woofs! One can scarcely believe one's tiny nosy!

Whether in character or not just...no.

or even flappy

How does Michael take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

Bdum tish. Am here all week. Try the veal.

I too cringe at anything other than fart.

Although the men in our house say "have you dropped your bag?!" or "I just dropped my shopping"

I grew up with it being a trump.

Trouble was that I came from a family very keen on whist in an area where whist was one of the main social activities (yes it was very quiet and rural) so this often led to the comment "Hearts are Farts"

Whist?

Where exactly did you grow up 5Foot5, 1860?

Usually it's fart but can be referred to as on the bum trumpet or having bumphonics.

Wow I've never ever heard of some of these. We always use"

"Toot", for cutesy farts (yes there is such a thing), "Fart" for your everyday garden variety fart, "FUCKING RUN FOR IT!!!" for a particularly violent fart, and "Shart" for a fart that goes a bit far. Oh or "Silent Violent heading your way", for stealth stinkers.

And anyone who tries to deny it is a "trumpet pants"

'Love Puff' Tittypulumpcious!?! For us, that is when you 'pass wind' whilst..erm..'making love'!

fanny fart

I'm with chipping. 'Was that you?'. That's all that needs to be said. (In fact, chipping made me laugh.)

I hate the word fart. To me, it is the F word.

I'm an inveterate swearer. I'm not coy. I just hate that word.

And I particularly hate it if said by a young child.

DS used to say "My bottom blowed" as a toddler. We still use it to this day.

Although we use fart, totally agree that its not great when a very young child says it, but v young children can get away with poop, windybum, did a smell etc etc. As can people over about 70.

Imo anyone between age 7 - 70 who uses any word other than fart just sounds twee and toe-curling.