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AIBU?

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¨To send a copied and pasted Facebook Conversation to the superior at somebody's work

267 replies

QuintessentialOldDear · 26/08/2013 23:08

Most of what happens on Facebook just wash over me.
But today I got really really pissed off, and the latent feminist in me made a silent ROAR.

I am a member of a Selling/swap page on Facebook for my home town. A man posted asking if somebody knew a place on Facebook to post a job advert. (Vacant position) He attached a screenshot from his mobile detailing the job. He wrote in slang, outlining it was mostly lifting heavy boxes from delivery vans and putting them in storage, saying "this job is not for women".

A woman posted saying she did not think he could phrase it like that as it was discriminating against women. He replied saying in broad terms "you come and try out this job for a day babe and you will see it is not for women". She replied she worked in health care and did not need another job, she just wanted to point out that she did not think it could be phrased that way. A barrage of abuse from him, and various other men, mocking her being a woman, mocking her working in health care, and saying stuff like "of course, working in health care you have the time to make dumbass replies online" etc

I googled his name. Lo and behold he is general manager of the local branch. He has also taken part in a national reality show similar to Temptation Island, drives a Hot car with a Hot girlfriend in 6th form.

A woman posted saying she did 90kg in weights and would love a job with heavy lifting. He replied, he did not really want to meet a woman who could do that job, as he would not fancy a woman who could do such physical work without problems. He wondered if he should repost on lezbo.org.

His girlfriend posted laughing at all the women who felt affronted that they could not do the job.

He wondered if he should repost and hope that he would not get replies from "half brains" and idiots.

It was most absurd, most of the people posting were trying to help him see that it was against the law to post a job advert that was blatantly discriminating against a specific gender, and that not all men would be able to do that job. He was offensive to all of them.

As he is the gm of the local branch of a privately owned medium sized nationwide company, I am so tempted to email the entire conversation, with 30 comments mocking women and generally just being an arse to head office.

I dont know WHY the whole thing has angered me so much.

Should I just let it go thinking "Just another horrible arse" and be glad I dont actually know him at all.

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/08/2013 20:56

Bump...what happened here???

gaggiagirl · 27/08/2013 21:14

Bumpity bumpity bump bump bump.......come on what's the craic quint

BruceTheShark · 27/08/2013 22:20

Definitely send it. Men like this make countless women's lives a misery in the workplace...they also no doubt bully men or anyone they see to be vulnerable.

He doesn't deserve compassion or your protection.

QuintessentialOldDear · 27/08/2013 22:28

Hi, sorry, been having some internet problems since midday. I have emailed them this evening. I have no intention of taking this to the media, as that would be ME bringing their name in to disrepute more than this employee, if that makes sense. I will let them deal with it.

OP posts:
Strokethefurrywall · 27/08/2013 22:51

Definitely send it - the knob deserves everything he gets. Twat.

Scarletohello · 27/08/2013 22:55

Agree with others. Send it. It's completely unacceptable. Also send it to Everyday Sexism project website. Do it for all of us!

Undertone · 27/08/2013 23:04

Fuck it - it's not you who has brought their brand into disrepute. It's him. Tell us the name of the company.

Kinect · 27/08/2013 23:15

Screen Shot it and send it.

wanker.

him not you OP.

gaggiagirl · 28/08/2013 06:40

Well done quint jolly well done I would do the same in your position.

Sorry to hear about your internet troubles. Glad your back with us.

Yamyoid · 28/08/2013 07:36

Great. Will you let us know what they say?

QuintessentialOldDear · 28/08/2013 08:11

I will update. I am keen to hear their reply!
I mentioned the exchange to some friends I visited yesterday, and I have never seen so many jaws on the floor, and the general consensus was that he was an odious turd, and sadly even in 2013 there are men like this, shocking.

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 28/08/2013 08:20

Unfortunately it wouldn't surprise me if you didn't hear anything back at all...

fluffyraggies · 28/08/2013 08:21

Well done OP.

I'd be sorely tempted to get it turned into a poster and stick a few copies up around the vicinity of the companies head office!

DorothyBastard · 28/08/2013 08:22

Glad you sent it, I hope they take it seriously.

TotallyEggFlipped · 28/08/2013 09:18

Glad you contacted the company. Will be interested to hear what they do.

LessMissAbs · 28/08/2013 09:41

As a legal academic, I find the conundrum presented by this interesting. The trouble is that, unlike racially aggravated assault, harassment, etc, this is not a crime because it is sexually motivated. i do think the time has come to criminalise sexually motivated acts in the same way as racially motivated acts.

As it stands, you are left with trying to find a remedy in civil law, which is inadequate. You could, if you had the time and funds, sue him and his employer for injury to feelings, though im unsure whether you would have title to sue. You could make a claim to an employment tribunal,but again you might lack title to sue. You might want to call ACAS for advice, but at the end of the day, your initial suggestion of cutting and pasting it to his employer, and perhaps also a local newspaper, might be most effective.

Fwiw the SDA 75 does permit sexual discrimination on grounds of physiology, eg if a man has to have a male nurse for reasons of privacy or the job requires certain physiological characteristics, though beyond a hypothetical sperm donor job, im struggling to think of an example! Making a generalization that men are stronger than men is not such an exception, because you get strong women and weak men. I was once on a national team with a woman who was a muscular 6 feet tall, heavier than any of the male team members and fat, far stronger and capable of lifting than your average man on the street. She also had three children. To exclude someone like her from such a job in favour of an untrained or top heavy trained man doesn't make sense.

LessMissAbs · 28/08/2013 09:45

Some interesting typos there which I am blaming on my phone!

LJL69 · 28/08/2013 09:54

well done

LessMissAbs · 28/08/2013 10:10

Had another think about this from an employment law perspective, and the company need to distance themselves from him, as they are leaving themselves open to a disgruntled potential applicant during them for sex discrimination. As he is in effect advertising the job on the company's behalf, and if the company tolerates this, they will be vicariously liable for their employee's actions during the course of employment.

mignonette · 28/08/2013 10:27

Quint There are lots of men like him sadly. Well done for sending the FB page.

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 28/08/2013 11:41

Any news on this?

QuintessentialOldDear · 28/08/2013 14:56

No response to email yet.

OP posts:
littlemog · 28/08/2013 15:18

Good for your OP. What an absolute odious little prick.

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 28/08/2013 19:29

I really hope you get a response and they don't just try to fob it off.

ChasedByBees · 28/08/2013 19:39

Wow, so glad you sent this. They won't reply straight away, I imagine they are staring in disbelief thinking 'shiiiiiiiiit'

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