to not want to go to an Indian resteraunt while suffering horrendous 'morning' (haha) sickness

[Makqueen]

Dh parents arrived today. They love an Indian resteraunt near us and want to eat there everytime they visit. I usually love it too (I am half Indian but a crap cook so it's like a taste of childhood going there).

However, I am 9 weeks pregnant and puking round the clock. The only things I can eat (this week) are soggy cornflakes and for the past two days I am having trouble keeping anything down, sometimes even fluids.

I can't open my own fridge without gagging so the thought of sitting there smelling all those spices is filling me with dread.

I've told dh to go on his own with them tonight, but he won't as the evenings is when my sickness spikes (I passed out on the bathroom floor thur night), but I am gettin guilt tripped by all of them. They say they will miss out if we don't all go and won't get a takeaway as its not the same.

I don't want to ruin thier trip, but I can't go. They are saying I can just nibble on some rice. It's the smell, and the fact that I am exhausted and can't keep anything down.

The resteraunt only has one loo and I don't want to be hogging it.

God, I feel like shit and just want to sleep!

[Musicaltheatremum]

Heidi. I couldn't have put it better myself.

[chocolatemartini]

Yadnbu. They are being very selfish.

[thebody]

take care op. I think in your heart of hearts you know what to do.

make sure you tell dh that his parents mustn't be in your house when you get home. the 'handy' text is unspeakably cruel and vile.

[Booboostoo]

Handy?!!!!!!!!!!!! I think she wins an MN award for worst MIL ever for that alone.

Take care of yourself OP and have some serious chats with your DH when you're feeling better.

[Nanny0gg]

I sincerely hope that this is your IL's last visit and that they'll be gone when you get home.

Get well soon OP.

[SauvignonBlanche]

You have to reply to that one, even if you just ask her what she means.

[CatsWearingTutus]

Tell your DH that his horrible mother has caused you to have one miscarriage and is doing her best to trigger another. If I were you I'd be screaming at him to get that bitch out of my house and I'm amazed at the restraint you've shown. But if I were you I'd make it a condition of him staying with you that you don't have to see or speak to those people until you've had this baby (and perhaps not after either) and that he needs to make sure they have left the house before your return tomorrow. I am seething on your behalf!

[tinypumpkin]

Really hoping that you start feeling a bit better soon, that sound truly horrid. I have no words for your ILs, unbelievable.

[Mumsyblouse]

What worries me about that 'handy' message is that as well as being contemptuous and disrespectful of you, they are in cahoots with your husband. They expect him to get the text and agree with them, as they all talk about you behind your back. That's a horrid message to send and it's a message that betrays the real state of play between your husband and them. I would have extremely harsh words with him when he arrives and ask his parents to go and stay elsewhere as you need the time and space to be ill (carrying his child) in your own home without their digs and spite and lack of care.

[Coffeenowplease]

Fucking bitch.

You are being very restrained. Id have phoned and asked exactly what the fuck she meant by that then told her to get out of my house. I hope your DH is being supportive.

[CookieLady]

Op, make sure that fucking evil bitch isn't at your home when you are discharged.

[SauvignonBlanche]

You need a good chat with your DH about this.

[Amy106]

Your ILs are unbelievable and their behaviour needs to change immediately or they should not be around you. Take time to feel better and then have a serious talk with your dh about his role in all of this. Pregnancy is hard work. You need to know he is completely on your side, actively looking for ways to support you and reduce your stress levels. I hope you feel better soon.

[dubdurbs]

MermaidAvenue-perfect reply. While I'd be tempted to blow a gasket with MIL, and tell her to fuck right off, you will have her in your life for some time, so pulling her up on her, quite frankly, appalling lack of empathy in a nice way is what you should do.

Vile people :@

[Mia4]

Your MIL is toxic, your DH is pandering to her and despite his promises OP his actions are speaking much louder.

Honestly I don't think I'd want such a big cunt in my child's life, and your DP is on very think ice too. I'd go with mermaidavenues response, then I'd tell DH that they will not be in the house when you return nor will they be returning until here is much apology and actions showing as such too. If DP wants to pander he can go up to them and give you the breathing room to decide what you want to do about his sorry arse.

[Mia4]

*thin Ice

[Loobylou123]

What a vile woman!
I think DH needs some stern words about support and family. Your family. A family of 3 that he needs to put first or check out of! I'm sorry he hasn't been supportive and that you've become so unwell. I hope the hospital puts you right.

[AintNobodyGotTimeFerThat]

No, I think you're at perfect liberty to decline.

Even after I got past the morning sickness stage, which took til about week 22 I went to an indian restaurant and ended up throwing my guts up outside about 10 minutes later whilst waiting for the taxi (just glad it was not in the taxi, otherwise I'd have got a hefty bill).

I felt very embarrassed though.

The only other thing is to perhaps go for the socialising and eat somewhere else first and perhaps just have a poppadum or two.

But that would seem pointless to me.

[AintNobodyGotTimeFerThat]

Oh and just ignore the woman -

In my experience life is too short to worry about an ignorant woman's attitudes and what she thinks of you.

She'll think bad of you if she wants to and positively of you as long as you aren't overtly nasty and I don't see any of that in your OP.

[Dancergirl]

OMG!

Unbelievable.

OP, how are you feeling today? I really feel for you. I wish you a speedy recovery and hope the rest of the pregnancy is easier xx

[Nanny0gg]

AintNobodyGotTimeFerThat You might want to read the rest of the OP's posts - it's gone a wee bit past worrying about the restaurant...

[MidniteScribbler]

I'm not usually someone who jumps on the LTB bandwagon, but I would be having a serious think about my relationship my husband hadn't immediately kicked my MIL out the door after a text like that and told her not to come back.

[Fionnabhair]

Go and puke in their food. They'll soon learn to not underestimate the effect smells can have when pregnant and won't be so dismissive in future.

[hackmum]

They obviously think you're a drama queen, with your showy-off morning sickness and urine infection that requires hospitalisation.

Seriously, though, they do sound like horrible people, and I felt very sad reading this thread. If they're like this now, I don't suppose they're going to get better when the baby's born. I hope you feel better soon and can work things out with your DH - he sounds like he needs taking firmly in hand.