My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

to not want to go to an Indian resteraunt while suffering horrendous 'morning' (haha) sickness

143 replies

Makqueen · 26/08/2013 11:28

Dh parents arrived today. They love an Indian resteraunt near us and want to eat there everytime they visit. I usually love it too (I am half Indian but a crap cook so it's like a taste of childhood going there).

However, I am 9 weeks pregnant and puking round the clock. The only things I can eat (this week) are soggy cornflakes and for the past two days I am having trouble keeping anything down, sometimes even fluids.

I can't open my own fridge without gagging so the thought of sitting there smelling all those spices is filling me with dread.

I've told dh to go on his own with them tonight, but he won't as the evenings is when my sickness spikes (I passed out on the bathroom floor thur night), but I am gettin guilt tripped by all of them. They say they will miss out if we don't all go and won't get a takeaway as its not the same.

I don't want to ruin thier trip, but I can't go. They are saying I can just nibble on some rice. It's the smell, and the fact that I am exhausted and can't keep anything down.

The resteraunt only has one loo and I don't want to be hogging it.

God, I feel like shit and just want to sleep!

OP posts:
Report
WhereYouLeftIt · 26/08/2013 11:52

What a bunch fof selfish fuckwitted bastards they are!!

I will give your DH the benefit of the doubt, and assume he doesn't ant to go with them as he doesn't want to leave you alone in case you need him (you mentioned passing out).

But I would still read the riot act to DH and tell him to get his bastarding parents off my case and behaving better towards me or they can just fuck off back home now.

Why in god's name are they even visiting now since you are so unwell?

Report
EllesAngel · 26/08/2013 11:52

They sound worse the more you post about them OP. Nasty, selfish people. Your DH needs to have a word with them about their behaviour.

Report
Iamsparklyknickers · 26/08/2013 11:52

Tell your DH to tell them to back the fuck off.

It doesn't matter that their next door neighbours, aunties, cousins, best friends, first teacher went sky diving at 12 weeks, neither of you give a shit.

They can keep their opinions to themselves because neither of you are interested, if they don't want to alienate and offend you both further they need to remember their manners and keep the dissection and moaning for afterwards when you don't have to listen to it.

I'm getting really annoyed on your behalf Angry - they really need to be told they're being fucking rude, bullying and offensive. They're visiting your home, not on fucking holiday.

If they want none stop entertainment they need to fuck off to First Choice and book themselves a trip.

Report
Abra1d · 26/08/2013 11:53

Ask them what they would have thought public opinion would have been about Kate Middleton being dragged off to an Indian restaurant when she was suffering from pregnancy sickness.

Report
Iamsparklyknickers · 26/08/2013 11:55

Abra1d - I bet they were in the camp who thought she was being precious.

The camp that thinks 'it's actually none of my business' is unfortunately the quietest one around..

Report
thebody · 26/08/2013 11:56

and is your own mother near or aunty? if you were my dd or neice i I would be round there like a shot to face down the old cow bag.

I might give your dh a kick too.

I am in worsestershire if you need me and right in the mood for a bloody good row! //😄

Report
NatashaBee · 26/08/2013 11:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StatisticallyChallenged · 26/08/2013 11:58

Oh god, I had HG myself and if one thing made me want to kill it was people saying " I just carried on as normal" - I don't think they understand that it isn't just mild nausea, it's constant 24-7 and it's utterly exhausting.

At this point I would say hormonal ranting is permitted. Remind them that you are seriously ill, vomit x times every single day. Can you remember a time when any of them had food poisoning? If so, remind them of it and how awful they felt, tell them to imagine they'd felt like that for x weeks and then point out they wouldn't have gone within a 10 metre radius of a bloody curry

On another note - give serious thought to getting medication. I had to take two different types at the same time with DD but it did help. In my case it was Cyclizine and Metaclopramide (sp probably!).

Report
GlaikitFizzog · 26/08/2013 12:00

Oh my god my blood pressure has just shot through the roof for you. Dh is a wimp, he should tell them to go on their own.

Report
HorryIsUpduffed · 26/08/2013 12:00

They should be annoyed with DH if anyone, not you.

I thought you were NBU from your OP, but after your sad update about mmc I'm even more sympathetic.

Would you rather be at home alone feeling sick? In that situation I'd rather DH fucked off went out and left me to it, and if he was entertaining the in-laws at the same time, so much the better.

I gather antiemetics are much better nowadays so please don't suffer in silence.

Report
Makqueen · 26/08/2013 12:01

Dhs parents have long been a bone of contention. He adores them. Honestly, it's a case of the apron strings having never been cut.

After the mmc things have changed, thank god - in that pregnancy I'd had a scan the week before the came down which showed a slightly slowed HB. The consultant told me to rest as much as I could, take good care of myself and to come back for another check in ten days. Dh was horrible about his parents visit, it was all "but my parents are coming" he was mailing me feel guilty and saying his parents meant more to him than a baby which wasn't born yet. He guilt tripped me into walikg around London for 8 fucking hours when I felt like I was going to drop down dead from exhaustion, so that they would be happy.

After the mmc I told him I wanted a divorce. He said things would change and he'd put me first. Tbf, he's not guilt tripped me at all about today, so he has changed, and he cant do enough for me in this pregnancy, he's taken over everything so I can rest.

But he'd never tell them to stop going on and he still wants them to be happy.

OP posts:
Report
longjane · 26/08/2013 12:02

Why can they not get a take away?

Report
Iamsparklyknickers · 26/08/2013 12:03

Pondering further on this, considering DH actually wants to support his wife, his parents are behaving even worse.

Why are they sulking enough to put him in the middle? I take it they're fit and well - they can entertain themselves surely?

Gits.

Report
Makqueen · 26/08/2013 12:03

Dh doesn't see them as much as her like - they visit every 5/6 weeks for a weekend. So when they are here he wants to spend as muh time with them as possible and I feel he resents me for getting in the way of that.

OP posts:
Report
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 26/08/2013 12:04

Yanbu - at all. I had terrible sickness to the point of hospitalisation in both pregnancies and many smells set me off but currry was the absolute worse. If dp wanted it, he had to go by himself or get a takeaway and eat it in the park, and then go for a swim, a shower and to clean his teeth before he came home!

The anti-sickness tablets didn't help me either tbh. I'd be sick before they could get into my system. And when I was hospitalised and given the injections instead (can't throw up an injection!) I had an allergic reaction. Not fun!

Tell dp that you are going to bed. He can entertain them or they can go out. It's not your problem.

The only thing that helped me even a little bit was sucking on lemonade or orange ice lollies. Worth a try? Not sure if you can even still buy lemonade ice lollies though.

You poor thing. It is horrible.

Report
GlaikitFizzog · 26/08/2013 12:04

But he is guilt tripping you by not standing up to them.

Seriously, you asked for a divorce after the mmc (quite likely), I would remind him of that tbh. He promised you he would look after you, this isn't looking after.

Report
Loobylou123 · 26/08/2013 12:05

Oh dear, am I right in thinking you posted a little while ago about them making these plans? It's horrible no one has listened to your needs. Bravo Mil and Sil for carrying on but maybe they were just pregnant not ill. You are actually pregnant AND ill. She is actually being very inconsiderate and unsupportive in belittling how you are feeling. Hypemesis whatever it's called is a pregnancy related illness. I think resolve it what is needed. You are NOT going out. If they want to go then so be it but do not feel guilty about putting yourself and your little one first. Get rid of them and curl up on the sofa with whatever trashy film you can't get enough of and whatever refreshments stay down longer than 5 minutes Smile

Report
mypavlova · 26/08/2013 12:08

Indian is my absolute favorite, but when I was expecting I couldn't abide even the thought of it. Don't fight against the aversion. They need to make allowance.

Report
WitchOfEndor · 26/08/2013 12:08

I think you should go, but make sure you don't make it to the bathroom and puke on MIL instead.

Report
GlaikitFizzog · 26/08/2013 12:08

Remus, r whites do lemonade ice lollies!

Report
Iamsparklyknickers · 26/08/2013 12:08

Urgh - being happy does not mean kowtowing to their every whim. As a group of adults (related or not) compromising and taking peoples needs into consideration is a normal thing to do.

Strong arming people into doing what you want is selfish and rude.

That doesn't help at all, I realise that, I just can't bare grown men and women sulking, especially when it's to someones detriment.

Why they're insisting on dragging you along when you've made it clear they're all very welcome to carry on without you is absolutely ridiculous - What exactly do they think you're going to get out of it or add to it? Are they just looking for more excuses to point out how fabulously they coped with pregnancy?

Report
TheSmallPrint · 26/08/2013 12:09

You should go and then puke over their plates - that'll learn them. Grin.

Sorry, not helpful. I also suffered with an incredibly sensitive sense of smell for the first four months of pregnancy and any strong smell made me heave. I was particularly affected by leather which was bad as we had a leather sofa and leather seats in the car! My only option was to shove tissue up my nostrils to avoid gagging anytime we went out in the car. Is there anyway you can do this subtly? If not then just point blank refuse.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Loobylou123 · 26/08/2013 12:09

Crikey, after further reading I think your DH should tell them how ill you actually are, apologise and send them home. Then maybe a trip to your hospital pre natal ward if they have one for done reassurance and fluids!

Report
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 26/08/2013 12:10

Where are you OP? We'll bring a load of lemonade ice lollies round and tell your pils to leave you alone!

Report
Makqueen · 26/08/2013 12:13

I've already told dh I am going to have to go to the hospital tomorrow (I am under the care of EPU as I had horrible complications when I misscarried) as I've got a urine infection as I've not been holing water down and it's getting worse.

I am waiting for the 'but my parents are here' line about that one.

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.