DD totally fucked up her GCSEs. AIBU to tell her 'I told you so'?

[TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras]

Of course I won't but I am very, very cross about it. She got 2 Ds, 2 Es and 3 Fs FFS. All through secondary we have had problems with her being disruptive at school, getting detentions, calls about her not doing her homework or engaging with the lessons, getting into spats with other girls about stuff which did not involve her (sticking up for friends).

She was forecast for 3Cs, 2Ds and 3Es which was bad enough but we hoped she would get the extra C through the exams to get into the college course that she was so excited about doing and which we have supported her in doing even though I have my doubts (performing arts) but I wanted her to do something she enjoyed.

We have lectured her, given her 'pep talks', taken away privileges, shouted, screamed at her and now we have the end result - totally crap grades so she will not be able to do the college course she wanted to do and will have to spend the next year retaking as many as possible at a cost to us. I even frogmarched her to maths club one day as she was so behind but she refused to go again and I could'nt do that every bloody week. Ditto homework club/science club.

She has never been diagnosed with any SENs, her teachers have always stated that she is very bright and would do fine if she would just shut up and listen. She seems to have disengaged with reality and decided that she was going to become a singer/rapper so school was not important. She spends hours writing rap lyrics and listening to that bloody Iggy Azalea (most annoying songs ever). She has even insisted that she will be moving to LA as soon as she is 18 and do whatever it takes to become a 'sooperstarrr' and I fully support her in that 'dream' and hope she can achieve it (not by moving to LA and living in the bins waiting to be discovered though ) but she needs to at least get some qualifications first!

I could bloody shake her very hard. She thinks she knows everything. Aaaarrrrgggh. Any suggestions on what to do with her?

[Whattodoaboutnothing]

Great timing and well done to your DD. @OlderDumplestiltskin can I ask what BTEC and UNi course you DD ended up doing?

[LuxOlente]

God that's really hard OP.

If you think she's bright enough to realise the mess she's in when cold hard reality hits, it might be better to back off and let her learn some harsh lessons - that she can't afford anything and has to get a poor job. Downside of this is that she'd either have to move out, or be threatened with it, to have the bills to pay - and she's a bit too young for that. There's little you can do if she refuses.

Other downside is that if she isn't going to realise the mess she's in, she'll simply flounder - she'll end up in poverty, unable to find a home, and could fall into some very bad scenarios. Once she's in a trap of having not enough money to survive, it'll be harder for her to come out if she ever realises.

On the other hand, she might be content thinking she'll just live off you like a child forever, and cannot see that that will not be possible.

[LuxOlente]

Oh ffs zombie thread.

Well, glad she sorted herself out :)