to feel gutted that M&F in-law had DS hair cut SHORT

[airyfairy1978]

Am I just being pathetic here? DS is 2. Ive only ever had his hair trimmed a bit- I like longer hair on boys! he stayed with nan & gramps overnight & came home with a SHORT back & sides. I feel so upset, like I'm grieving or something. M-in-L recognised it was too much & apologised. I just wanna cry every time I look at my boy. I hardly recognise him!!!

did they say why they did it?
I think I'd be upset as well

Firstly its a hair cut and it will grow back quickly so crying is ott. However they did overstep the boundries with having his hair cut as not their choice

This happened to me except it was DH who did it. DS was going around like a tiny rock star and I thought he looked adorable, DH less so. He came back with a "do" that wouldn't have looked out of place in Platoon. I was devastated. The good thing is it grows back. :)

YANBU. Did you even know they would be getting it trimmed? I don't think that is something that should be happening without the parents' consent. However, if they are apologetic there' no point in letting it come between you. My ds2 has longish curly hair too and I took him for a trim once that went too far. I felt like you do but t soon grew back.

i'd have to tell them that it isn't their responsability to do this, and whilst you appreciated their proactiveness you would like the style of your childs hair to be left to you.

YABU to say it's like grieving

It's hair, it'll grow back. In laws do random things like this, you need to make your boundaries clearer.

YANBU. My son has slightly longer hair and I would be gutted if anyone had it cut short. It's not their place.

I would be livid with ils but to be honest wouldn't trust them to look after him at all, so they won't get a chance!

It's Summer and the boy will probably feel cooler with shorter hair.

And it will grow back.

As long as they make sure it won't happen again.

I think you are very insensitive to compare grieving with a hair cut although I am sure you meant no offence.

I hate long hair on little boys to be honest but tour parents in law had no business getting your child's hair cut without permission. I would be furious so for that yrnbu.

Did they say they were taking him to get a hair cut? If not that is totally out of order!!

yanbu.

i would be fuming

YANBU, but it sounds like MIL knows this, so it won't happen again which is the main thing. I hate sub-military (which is what a short back and sides is) haircuts on little boys, but at least it wasn't a buzz cut.

YANBU

I would be furious if they took my children for haircuts without telling me. And if they told me - there would be strict instructions from me. But my children have thick mops of crazy hair so too short looks ridiculous as it sticks up and out.

YANBU. I would be furious. It would be different if they had asked permission.

I think the posters protesting about the use of the word 'grieving' need to check out its definition. It doesn't just mean 'sad because of a death', and the OP wasn't comparing the experience to the death of a loved one. She's sad because she's lost her son's hair that she liked, he probably looks very different and not so much of a baby any more, and I can understand completely. I felt like this when I eventually had my DS's lovely blond curls cut, and that was a decision I took myself!

So YANBU at all - I would be furious! What on earth possessed them?

YAB a bit U, but I can see why. I would be chuffed if someone took ds2 to have his haircut, as I have to do it over 3 days as he won't sit still. It won't take long to grow and it will be a lot easier to wash.

I don't think YABU, my DP were itching to get my DS longer hair cut but never just did it - they asked plenty of times though eventually when he wanted it cut I asked if they wanted to take him since I knew they would sort of enjoy it more than I would.

Unless he actively asked them I would be left wondering what else they would assume it was ok to do without running it past you/him.

(Not referring to anything terrible there, just thinking I would want my parenting, and my child's choices, to be respected and not over ridden by someone else)

I can completely understand why you are so upset. FIL once went at my 8yo with ELECTRIC clippers. To the fringe. On a girl. She had one chunk of fringe 1cm long with rest original length. I cried. DH thought I was nuts. (I was pregnant),

Was it agreed he would have a hair cut? It's only hair .. sorry .. YABU

Was a haircut arranged with you?

I would be fuming if any of my relatives took any of my kids for a haircut without it being prearranged with me ( with the exclusion of a willing child and the child's other parent doing it).

Grandparents aunts uncles ect are not parents and they should not be doing stuff like that its overstepping.

I would be fucking furious.

My ExH did it (like cushtie's without my knowledge) to my 2 year old DS. His beautiful blond curls never grew back the same.

My ExH is a controlling knob btw.

Some people on here have actually lost children and are grieving.

So get over yourself, ask them not to do it again and accept their apology, where she said it was too far.

Oh please holiday back off.
I too would be furious if my inlaws did this to one of my boys.
What did you say to them when you saw it? What did Dh say?
I think a good talking to about boundaries is in order.