to feel gutted that M&F in-law had DS hair cut SHORT

[airyfairy1978]

Am I just being pathetic here? DS is 2. Ive only ever had his hair trimmed a bit- I like longer hair on boys! he stayed with nan & gramps overnight & came home with a SHORT back & sides. I feel so upset, like I'm grieving or something. M-in-L recognised it was too much & apologised. I just wanna cry every time I look at my boy. I hardly recognise him!!!

Since they have apologised I would have a serious talk about boundaries for the future, and be pleased that at least it will grow back.

Oh FFS people.
Look up the definition of grieving!

OP YANBU

It is appropriate to use the term grieving in this situation if that is how the op feels. The term isn't exclusively used for the loss of a loved one.
I'd be mighty fucked off and upset too op. Theres not much you can do about it, but you are allowed to feel sad about it.

YANBU

Major overstepping of boundaries there. At least they recognise they upset you so are unlikely to do it again.

It wasn't "too much" it was controlling and inappropriate to cut it at all. He was there overnight, not for a month. There would be no more overnight trips for several months until I felt I could trust them after something like that. They obviously have controlling tendencies or would never have cut it at all.
I hate the mummies little darling Lord fauntleroy locks, but would never cut another parent's child's hair, just wish that I could.

Reassuring, thanks. How did u manage to reconcile it with DH? I can hardly look at mine & it wasnt him, but his parents that were responsible!

YANBU Bloody cheek Many years ago my exh's girlfriend took my daughter to the hairdressers and had her waist length white blonde ringlets cut into a short bob. My dd is 20 tomorrow and neither of us have ever forgiven her. Bloody jealous cow and she is an ex girlfriend now Not because of this as exh was a cheating bastard to her. I feel your pain op. It will grow back but very out of order of them

Ok this might give you a laugh...

My DH did this once, and has not been allowed to take him for a haircut since. Anyhoo, instead of saying you are right it is too short, (which he admitted to my best friend) he was on the backfoot and snarled at me it will grow.

I kept my counsel until DS was in bed and then all hell broke loose, if he had just apologised there and then it would have been fine but he continued to argue back.

The next day I was minding a friends DS on an inset day, when I opened the door you could see her visibly rearranging her face and said nice haircut, DS said Mummy doesn't like it. Friend said I am sure she doesn't mind it.

DS then 7 replied, she hates it, I heard her telling Daddy last night, that it is too Fucking short and that he has no manners.

Friend had to turn laugh into a coughing fit.

you're lovely x

YANBU

I'd have been very upset too.

YANBU. I wouldn't leave your DS with your ILs overnight again - or for any length of time. This haircut has shown their controlling side and as your DS gets older it will get worse. They clearly do not agree with your parenting choices. This shows a complete lack of respect. I would be having a very full and frank discussion with them if I was you. Shameful behaviour.

FIL took DS to his barber once.
It was awful.
I cried.
Didn't get an apology. FIL brings it up as a joke sometimes. Ha bloody ha.
bastard.

I think that's outrageous - in fact technically it's an assault to cut a child's hair without the parents' consent. It might be worth finding out which barber/hairdresser they took him to and pointing that out.

Yanbu I would cry too

no intention to offend anyone by using the word grieving so sorry to anyone who was.
Feel a bit better for the rant. I hadnt given permission & I hate the 'do' but he's a cute fella & it'll grow.
Thanks for your wisdom, compassi, stories & kick up the bum :-*
x

YANBU. That's outrageous behaviour from your in laws!! I would have been very annoyed if mine had done that - and I wouldn't dream of cutting my granddaughter's hair without the permission of her mum and dad. The only consolation is that it will grow again.
Make sure your in laws understand that this is unacceptable, so they don't try it again.

Why do people do this?

I really don't get it.

Did they think that they were doing OP a favour??

Did they not like the long hair?

I'd be mad as hell!
How dare they!

Completely overstepping the mark.

I'd be beyond furious and it's something as a granny that it would never occur to me to do.

In fact, I often plead for their hair to be a little longer...

I went away on business when my younger son was about 2 - he looked like a girl cherub, all squishy and chubby and blond curls - I came back and my baby was gone :( OH had replaced him with a little boy He'd got him a proper boys haircut - he looked so different and like you OP i found it hard to even recognise him.

It grew back and despite the hair he was still my pride and joy.

At the end of day it was his son too and he was a stay at home parent and was getting fed up of people thinking he was a girl no matter what he was wearing. He's 12 now and still very very pretty :o waiting for the hormones to transform him into a big ugly brute!

Make yourself feel better OP and take a look at my profile photos. My 4 yo DD had HER hair cut by a 5yo would be hairdresser! It will grow back, I hope promise!

Same thing happened to me and after 5 years, it still annoys me.
My mil did ask permission because she wanted to show him off to her long-standing hairdresser. I said just a tiny bit off and he came back with a short back and sides.

Dh did something similar to ds recently. Off went my mop haired 8 year old blonde and curly. Back came a mini blonde Liam fucking Gallagher. Complete with waxed sticky down bits on his cheeks.

It has nearly grown out now thank fuck his hair grows quickly