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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was the worst children's party EVER?

999 replies

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 24/08/2013 16:15

This may be very long as I have a habit of rambling.

DD came home from school with an invitation last week for her classmate's (let's call her Annie) 6th birthday party. So off we trotted to the soft play today at 1pm.

The lady at the desk said it would be £4.50 to get in. I was a bit embarrassed and said I hadn't realised I would need to pay. The lady explained that Annie's mum had invited 20 children but only paid for 10. And had instructed staff to let the first ten in for free (first come first served) and then charge the rest.

I asked if dd would be included in the party games/food, and the lady said that I could pay for dd to have a meal and she could eat it with the paid children and wouldn't know the difference. And that there was no charge to join in the party games.

DD was getting a bit anxious/upset, so i paid her entry fee, prepaid her dinner and took her in.

Annie's mum never mentioned a thing. She just greeted us, told me where the cafe was and sent dd off to play. And I was too embarrassed to ask about the cost.

I didn't want to leave dd, so I just sat myself down on a wee bench next to the play area. After an hour, the children were called down from the soft play to go next door into the party room for games and food.

Again, Annie's mum didn't say anything re the people who hadn't paid. She just disappeared into the room with Annie before everyone had finished gathering at the door.

The 'paid' children all went inside, showing the lady at the door their little wrist bands. My dd's band was yellow (all the paid children's were red). I asked if it was okay for me to take dd in. The woman said that dd wasn't paid for. I explained that i'd spoken to a woman at the front desk and had paid for her dinner etc. The lady at the door told me to wait a minute, went away (presumably to the front desk), came back 5 minutes later and said me and dd could go in.

The other 'paying' parents (I could only count around 4 of them) said they weren't paying anything else and were just going to stay in the soft play.

So me and dd went into the party room. The children were already half way through a game of pass the parcel. Me and dd waited at the side for it to finish.

There was one more game (musical chairs) which dd got up to join in with. But the staff member (another different lady) said that she wasn't expecting another child and that she'd have to go next door for another chair. She left the room and i felt mortified. I felt like everyone was thinking I'd just sneaked into the room or something. The lady came back, along with the staff member from outside the door. Both gave me a big smile and then invited dd to sit down.

After that game, it was party food time.

Members of staff started bringing in buffet style food for the long table at the back of the room. I had paid for dd to have some chicken nugget meal bag, as I had assumed that was what the other children were having (because the lady at the desk had said that dd wouldn't notice the difference). I felt like a right numpty. All the other children went off to line up for the buffet. I told dd to stay beside me. She started whining so I went and asked the staff member when dd's meal would be brought in. She didn't know what I was on about so I explained. She said she wasn't sure if dd's meal would be allowed to be brought into the party room and she'd go and check.

Anyway, me and dd were sat there in a wee corner for about 15 minutes. No one said anything to us. A few people looked over and smiled. Again, I felt totally mortified. I tried to catch Annie's mum's eye, but she was forever talking to people. So i just said very loudly to a whining dd that her dinner will be brought in soon, hoping someone might say something to me (or perhaps invite dd to come and get a sandwich or something) but no one did.

By the time they were all getting jelly and ice cream, dd's chicken nuggets and chips arrived. So that preoccupied her from the fact she wasn't getting ice cream.

After eating, they all went out to the soft play again for ten minutes. Then it was time to go. The other children were all leaving with party bags. I tried to distract dd but she said very loudly (Annie's mum was standing next to us), "Can i have one too?"

Annie's mum was clearly ignoring her seemed not to hear her, so dd tapped her on the arm and said, "Excuse me, can I have one, too?"

I apologised and asked dd not to be rude, and to say thank you for the invitation etc. DD was getting upset and asked me "But whyyyyyy can't I have one?"

So Annie's Mum knelt down to her and said with a big smile, "See your lovely little bangle? It's yellow. Only the boys and girls with red ones get a party bag. Buuut, do you know what children with yellow bangles get? Something even better. They get a piece of cake. Isn't that wonderful?"

I was pretty much like Shock but dd thought that it was indeed wonderful. Annie's mum promised her a bit of cake 'in a wee minute'. So again, me and dd were standing there like numpties while Annie's mum continued dishing out bags to the other children and chatting to their parents. I kept saying to dd "Let's just go and I'll buy you a treat from the cake shop', but she was adamant she wanted a piece of Annie's birthday cake.

So we found a wee table and sat there. Once everyone had gone, Annie's mum disappeared into the party room again. Ten minutes later, she came out with all of Annie's presents etc, coat on clearly ready to go home. I smiled at her in a 'did you forget about us?' kind of way. She seemed surprised to see us. Apologised and said that the cake was all boxed up now but that she'd make sure Annie brought some in on Monday to school for dd.

DD was not pleased.

So... AIBU to think this was the worst party ever? I realise I should have left much earlier than I did, but dd had spent the whole morning getting ready, making Annie's card, wrapping her gift, drawing Annie a picture, talking about the party, that she would have been heartbroken if i brought her home early.

I just feel so embarrassed.

OP posts:
LeGavrOrf · 24/08/2013 17:09

Oh no don't tweet it, the op says she is shy at best and can't imagine she would want this to be too widely known tbh.

What a bloody cheek. Poor dd. I agree with worra that a cake smash is in order.

Am amazed that the soft play went along with the charade, tbh.

I didn't know that scotland didn't get the august bh either. Do they get another bh at another time of year?

insummeritrains · 24/08/2013 17:12

Shock Shock Shock

Annie's mum is a bitch.

Leopoldina · 24/08/2013 17:12

My god poor Annie, can you imagine what Christmas must be like at their house? Maybe they rotate annually to get some turkey :-(

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 24/08/2013 17:13

Someone needs to take this idea and extend it to weddings

Sparklingbrook · 24/08/2013 17:13

And I thought the worst soft play party ever was the one I went to when one Mum lost some false toenails in the ball pit. Sad

cory · 24/08/2013 17:13

ok, kindest possible interpretation:

Annie's mum, when booking the party had not thought through the differences between a birthday party at softplay and ordinary softplay so didn't realise that the children would end up separated.

the venue usually does the party bags ime, so again Annie's mum (being as clueless as they come) had not thought through the implications of 10 children booked in as birthday party= only 10 party bags

I don't think this exonerates Annie's mum in any way. She was there, she should have thought on her feet. "forgetting" about your dd's cake was shit behaviour, letting her sit there waiting for her meal and leaving you to deal with it= shit behaviour, not making sure she got to join in the games straightaway= shit behaviour.

Sparklingbrook · 24/08/2013 17:14

YY Jamie first ten wedding guests paid for, any more and they had better get their wallets out.

BlehPukeVomit · 24/08/2013 17:14

I almost can't believe this is true...it's just so EXTREME! I am curious as to the form of the invite. Was it ambiguous in any way?

I would do what Runningchick123 suggests. I think you would kick yourself if you didnt let Annie's mum know what you think. Don't be rude but don't be subtle or apologetic.

Is it possible that only 10 guests RSVP'ed and that Annie's Mum was only expecting 10 guests???

Jan49 · 24/08/2013 17:14

OMG It sounds like some kind of psychological experiment where people are artificially divided into groups, in this case red banders and yellow banders, and the yellow banders are excluded from things to make them feel bad just for having a yellow band.Sad

Either this woman is conducting unethical experiments on children or she's a prize bitch. Angry I'd be tempted to point out to her that you were asked to pay for the soft play and meal and ask for the money back on the grounds that clearly that must have been a mistake.Hmm

LynetteScavo · 24/08/2013 17:14

Cake - for your DD

Wine or Brew for you.

That is so awful I have not words!

cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 17:15

Scottish schools get local Monday holidays. Edinburgh has the 3rd Monday in September, Fife has 1st Monday in October etc. There are other ones dotted about the year as well.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 24/08/2013 17:15

sorry to sound flippant. It's so awful it's almost funny.

Your poor DD

numbum · 24/08/2013 17:15

Did you reply to the invitation OP?

The only explaination I can think of besides her just being a rude bitch is that only the red braceleted children replied to say they could make it so the others were unexpected

Sparklingbrook · 24/08/2013 17:15

It is possible that Annie's Mum is as thick as two short planks. I prefer that explanantion TBH.

nickelbabe · 24/08/2013 17:16

yes, paying for your own child is something she wouldn't have even realised was weird.

it was the rest of the story that's bad.

Sparklingbrook · 24/08/2013 17:16

Scotland sounds complicated. Sad

LittleWhiteWolf · 24/08/2013 17:16

That is just appalling behaviour from "Annies" mum. Just dreadful.
Your poor DD and poor you; I would have been mortified and angry in that situation myself.

Maryz · 24/08/2013 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 24/08/2013 17:16

Ah, very good question! Did you RSVP?

loopyluna · 24/08/2013 17:17

That is horrifying OP. I would have been sooo upset and the second class treatment. Did the red banded parents even realise what Annie's bitch of mother had done?
Grrrrrr. I'm actually fuming on your behalf. Angry

HurricaneWyn · 24/08/2013 17:17

Can I just ask if you RSVP'd to say you & DD were coming?

That's the only possible way I can think of explaining this - that she wasn't expecting you.

Otherwise, words fail me.

LindyHemming · 24/08/2013 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ffsx2 · 24/08/2013 17:18

I have a pretty long story about a badly run children's party.
But OP wins. That is speechless horrid.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 24/08/2013 17:18

I fell myself to be very much a yellow band person

Bearandcub · 24/08/2013 17:18

Annie's mum is a shit!

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