Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was the worst children's party EVER?

999 replies

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 24/08/2013 16:15

This may be very long as I have a habit of rambling.

DD came home from school with an invitation last week for her classmate's (let's call her Annie) 6th birthday party. So off we trotted to the soft play today at 1pm.

The lady at the desk said it would be £4.50 to get in. I was a bit embarrassed and said I hadn't realised I would need to pay. The lady explained that Annie's mum had invited 20 children but only paid for 10. And had instructed staff to let the first ten in for free (first come first served) and then charge the rest.

I asked if dd would be included in the party games/food, and the lady said that I could pay for dd to have a meal and she could eat it with the paid children and wouldn't know the difference. And that there was no charge to join in the party games.

DD was getting a bit anxious/upset, so i paid her entry fee, prepaid her dinner and took her in.

Annie's mum never mentioned a thing. She just greeted us, told me where the cafe was and sent dd off to play. And I was too embarrassed to ask about the cost.

I didn't want to leave dd, so I just sat myself down on a wee bench next to the play area. After an hour, the children were called down from the soft play to go next door into the party room for games and food.

Again, Annie's mum didn't say anything re the people who hadn't paid. She just disappeared into the room with Annie before everyone had finished gathering at the door.

The 'paid' children all went inside, showing the lady at the door their little wrist bands. My dd's band was yellow (all the paid children's were red). I asked if it was okay for me to take dd in. The woman said that dd wasn't paid for. I explained that i'd spoken to a woman at the front desk and had paid for her dinner etc. The lady at the door told me to wait a minute, went away (presumably to the front desk), came back 5 minutes later and said me and dd could go in.

The other 'paying' parents (I could only count around 4 of them) said they weren't paying anything else and were just going to stay in the soft play.

So me and dd went into the party room. The children were already half way through a game of pass the parcel. Me and dd waited at the side for it to finish.

There was one more game (musical chairs) which dd got up to join in with. But the staff member (another different lady) said that she wasn't expecting another child and that she'd have to go next door for another chair. She left the room and i felt mortified. I felt like everyone was thinking I'd just sneaked into the room or something. The lady came back, along with the staff member from outside the door. Both gave me a big smile and then invited dd to sit down.

After that game, it was party food time.

Members of staff started bringing in buffet style food for the long table at the back of the room. I had paid for dd to have some chicken nugget meal bag, as I had assumed that was what the other children were having (because the lady at the desk had said that dd wouldn't notice the difference). I felt like a right numpty. All the other children went off to line up for the buffet. I told dd to stay beside me. She started whining so I went and asked the staff member when dd's meal would be brought in. She didn't know what I was on about so I explained. She said she wasn't sure if dd's meal would be allowed to be brought into the party room and she'd go and check.

Anyway, me and dd were sat there in a wee corner for about 15 minutes. No one said anything to us. A few people looked over and smiled. Again, I felt totally mortified. I tried to catch Annie's mum's eye, but she was forever talking to people. So i just said very loudly to a whining dd that her dinner will be brought in soon, hoping someone might say something to me (or perhaps invite dd to come and get a sandwich or something) but no one did.

By the time they were all getting jelly and ice cream, dd's chicken nuggets and chips arrived. So that preoccupied her from the fact she wasn't getting ice cream.

After eating, they all went out to the soft play again for ten minutes. Then it was time to go. The other children were all leaving with party bags. I tried to distract dd but she said very loudly (Annie's mum was standing next to us), "Can i have one too?"

Annie's mum was clearly ignoring her seemed not to hear her, so dd tapped her on the arm and said, "Excuse me, can I have one, too?"

I apologised and asked dd not to be rude, and to say thank you for the invitation etc. DD was getting upset and asked me "But whyyyyyy can't I have one?"

So Annie's Mum knelt down to her and said with a big smile, "See your lovely little bangle? It's yellow. Only the boys and girls with red ones get a party bag. Buuut, do you know what children with yellow bangles get? Something even better. They get a piece of cake. Isn't that wonderful?"

I was pretty much like Shock but dd thought that it was indeed wonderful. Annie's mum promised her a bit of cake 'in a wee minute'. So again, me and dd were standing there like numpties while Annie's mum continued dishing out bags to the other children and chatting to their parents. I kept saying to dd "Let's just go and I'll buy you a treat from the cake shop', but she was adamant she wanted a piece of Annie's birthday cake.

So we found a wee table and sat there. Once everyone had gone, Annie's mum disappeared into the party room again. Ten minutes later, she came out with all of Annie's presents etc, coat on clearly ready to go home. I smiled at her in a 'did you forget about us?' kind of way. She seemed surprised to see us. Apologised and said that the cake was all boxed up now but that she'd make sure Annie brought some in on Monday to school for dd.

DD was not pleased.

So... AIBU to think this was the worst party ever? I realise I should have left much earlier than I did, but dd had spent the whole morning getting ready, making Annie's card, wrapping her gift, drawing Annie a picture, talking about the party, that she would have been heartbroken if i brought her home early.

I just feel so embarrassed.

OP posts:
WhatchaMaCalllit · 26/08/2013 10:26

Tanith, the soft play organisers had nothing to do with how Annie's mum spoke to the OP's daughter.

What really sticks in my throat is even if the birthday cake had been boxed up after the playing & party, it wouldn't have taken more than a few minutes to unpack it, cut a slice/wedge, give it to the OP & be on the way again, except that isn't what Annie's mum did. She sounds like a really nasty piece of work

mirandabee · 26/08/2013 10:30

I'm wondering, too, if it was a Groupon type deal (I think someone else mentioned this earlier on) so Annie's mum had prepaid for ten guests and was too tight to fork out any more. It could also explain why the soft play centre weren't being very flexible. Appalling treatment all round. I hope it goes well this morning, OP

Silverfoxballs · 26/08/2013 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImATotJeSuisUneTot · 26/08/2013 10:34

It's a Bank Holiday, there isn't a school run is there?

Floggingmolly · 26/08/2013 10:36

What could have been forced on her by the soft play organisers? Confused. It doesn't matter what kind of a deal she had; it didn't preclude her putting her hand in her pocket and paying the entrance fee for the guests she invited.

clam · 26/08/2013 10:37

Have you read the thread, ImATot? It's been pointed out several times that the OP is in Scotland, where there is no Bank Holiday today, and the schools went back a couple of weeks ago.

IneedAsockamnesty · 26/08/2013 10:38

Its not a fucking bank holiday in Scotland.

The op will not know anything until the end of the school day, so why fill up the thread before then?

PuppyMonkey · 26/08/2013 10:39

The "isn't it a bank holiday?" thing is becoming the new "maybe the OP didn't RSVP" on this thread.Grin

Floggingmolly · 26/08/2013 10:39

I'm still really confused though; why, if the children have been in the same class for a full school year, op doesn't know any of the children or parents even by sight?

KatieScarlett2833 · 26/08/2013 10:42

Because she works?

Lweji · 26/08/2013 10:46

The "isn't it a bank holiday?" thing is becoming the new "maybe the OP didn't RSVP" on this thread.

I'm just waiting for someone to post "LTB".

I feel sorry for all girls named Annie and their mothers (except 1), as it's likely that "Annie's mum" is going to be synonymous with cuntcuffin from now on.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 26/08/2013 10:46

Lol @ PuppyMonkey :-)

FrigginRexManningDay · 26/08/2013 10:47

Shyness is awful,as the OP states she is.

She lives in Scotland,no bank holiday.
Schools are back a couple of weeks.
She RSVPd the same day as the invite was received.
She got there 5 mins early.

squoosh · 26/08/2013 10:48

But did she RSVP? And anway there'll be no school today as it's a bank holiday plus the schools aren't back yet.

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 26/08/2013 10:49

Good morning. I have to run out to work in a minute so can only post quickly.

Okay, today I took dd to school five minutes earlier than usual. I normally time it so we get there just as the bell goes as she doesn't like standing about (children have to line up in the yard and wait on their teacher coming to collect them at 9am - they can't just go straight in iyswim, unless it's raining/snowing). But i wanted to have some time to say hello to the other parents if I could see them.

I saw Annie's mum with a small group of other mums. One of them i recognised as being a 'yellow bander'. I smiled at Annie's mum and gave a small wave. And i don't think she saw me. So i felt like a royal tube. And I'm embarrassed typing this, but it took quite a bit of guts for me to smile and wave and mouth 'Hi' at her, so to not be noticed was horrible.

I sent dd off to her line then stood in my usual spot, waiting on the teachers coming out to take in the children.
Then i hear behind me, "Did she settle down any better when you got home?"

I turned round and it was Annie's mum. I'll just give you a paraphrased version of the dialogue as I can't remember exactly. But I was almost in tears. I've decided i hate this woman.

Me: "What, sorry?"
AM: (with her stupid giant smile) "She just looked a wee bit tired the other day. Parties take a lot out of them, don't they?"
Me: "She was fine before she got there. I think it was the food thing that got her a wee bit upset. She didn't like having to wait while the other boys and girls were eating."
AM: (in a daft stupid whisper as if the police were listening) Awk, you should have just let her take a wee plate of something. I'm sure they wouldn't have minded.
Me: Well, I'd already ordered her a meal. I just thought it would have came at the same time as everyone else's. And I thought it would be the same food.
AM: (laughing) Awk, I'm sure the other children would have preferred what 'DD' had to be honest.

I'm livid at this point. And feeling absolutely stupid. As if she knew something I didn't, but that I should have known. Does that make sense?

I ask, "Oh, did Annie like her present? I think DD wanted to keep it for herself (lighthearted).She loves arty stuff."

AM: "Awk, we've not even opened half of them yet. It's been mad this weekend. Is it a wee art set then?"

I force a nod. "Listen, just to warn you, dd might be pestering Annie about birthday cake today. Just in case Annie comes home and says anything."

AM: (big sigh with a laugh) "Aw, what are they like? Annie's the same. Cake, cake, cake. All she thinks about."
Me: "No, i mean because you'd said you'd bring some in today for her."

She looks confused, so i cut in with, "Aw, don't worry about it. Like you say, you were busy. It's just that dd holds people to their word." I force a laugh as i feel absolutely ridiculous saying this.

AM: "Oh, I'll remember that for next time. (Laughs) I'll see you later, okay." And off she wanders.

Oh god. Even my 'quick' post has turned into a novel. I am far too descriptive. And now I'm running late. I feel like crap. Obviously there was some information re the party that I missed. I just don't know what it was. Throughout the whole conversation, she was looking at me like i was a bit daft. Dreading home time. Okay, I really have to run now.

And now I'm freaking out a bit that she might see this thread. Or maybe she's already seen it. >bangs head against desk

OP posts:
squoosh · 26/08/2013 10:53
Shock

The woman has no clue that she did anything wrong, no clue at all.

Good for you though OP, it sounds like you summoned up a lot of guts to talk to the old Cuntpuffin.

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 26/08/2013 10:53

Sorry, it's not a bank holiday here. I'm In scotland and we've been back over a week. Our next holiday isn't until the September weekend. Sorry for the confusion. I'll try to catch up with the posts oin the bus.

OP posts:
FrigginRexManningDay · 26/08/2013 10:55

She's the saccharine cunt (pretends she's sweeter than sweet,but she's an absolute cunt). Who gives a shit if she saw the thread. Let's get an MN posse and pelt her with shite cake at pick up time.

Sparklingbrook · 26/08/2013 10:56

I'm not sure. I am beginning to think she is extremely thick, and oblivious to it all.

Theimpossiblegirl · 26/08/2013 10:56

Don't let her make you feel like you are somehow in the wrong Ewe. I can sense the self doubt kicking in. She treated your DD and the other yellow banders terribly. Why don't you ask another yellow band mum if you had got the wrong idea, that will be a good opener and I'm sure she will be as pissed off/bemused as you.

ChubbyKitty · 26/08/2013 10:56

Friggin nice summary Grin

Thumbwitch · 26/08/2013 10:57

Jeez, she's got some brass neck that one! Shock

miemohrs · 26/08/2013 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrigginRexManningDay · 26/08/2013 10:58

Thank you chubby .

Grin
Chrysanthemum5 · 26/08/2013 10:59

When I first read your post I wondered if she hadn't realised your DD was invited to the party, as that seemed the only reasonable excuse for such appalling behaviour. I (trying to be kind) wondered if that's why she said the thing about the different bands, assuming your DD was just playing at the soft play. Although, she'd have to be pretty forgetful to not know who she had invited!

However, your update makes it clear that she did know, and it just not very kind, or considerate.

I understand completely why you paid for your DD to attend, but I think there is no mileage in talking to Annie's mum about it any more. She clearly doesn't have any empathy so she will never understand your point of view.

I have a drawer full of stuff for party bags, PM me and I'll send your DD a bag. It makes me so sad to think of her being treated like that!