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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was the worst children's party EVER?

999 replies

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 24/08/2013 16:15

This may be very long as I have a habit of rambling.

DD came home from school with an invitation last week for her classmate's (let's call her Annie) 6th birthday party. So off we trotted to the soft play today at 1pm.

The lady at the desk said it would be £4.50 to get in. I was a bit embarrassed and said I hadn't realised I would need to pay. The lady explained that Annie's mum had invited 20 children but only paid for 10. And had instructed staff to let the first ten in for free (first come first served) and then charge the rest.

I asked if dd would be included in the party games/food, and the lady said that I could pay for dd to have a meal and she could eat it with the paid children and wouldn't know the difference. And that there was no charge to join in the party games.

DD was getting a bit anxious/upset, so i paid her entry fee, prepaid her dinner and took her in.

Annie's mum never mentioned a thing. She just greeted us, told me where the cafe was and sent dd off to play. And I was too embarrassed to ask about the cost.

I didn't want to leave dd, so I just sat myself down on a wee bench next to the play area. After an hour, the children were called down from the soft play to go next door into the party room for games and food.

Again, Annie's mum didn't say anything re the people who hadn't paid. She just disappeared into the room with Annie before everyone had finished gathering at the door.

The 'paid' children all went inside, showing the lady at the door their little wrist bands. My dd's band was yellow (all the paid children's were red). I asked if it was okay for me to take dd in. The woman said that dd wasn't paid for. I explained that i'd spoken to a woman at the front desk and had paid for her dinner etc. The lady at the door told me to wait a minute, went away (presumably to the front desk), came back 5 minutes later and said me and dd could go in.

The other 'paying' parents (I could only count around 4 of them) said they weren't paying anything else and were just going to stay in the soft play.

So me and dd went into the party room. The children were already half way through a game of pass the parcel. Me and dd waited at the side for it to finish.

There was one more game (musical chairs) which dd got up to join in with. But the staff member (another different lady) said that she wasn't expecting another child and that she'd have to go next door for another chair. She left the room and i felt mortified. I felt like everyone was thinking I'd just sneaked into the room or something. The lady came back, along with the staff member from outside the door. Both gave me a big smile and then invited dd to sit down.

After that game, it was party food time.

Members of staff started bringing in buffet style food for the long table at the back of the room. I had paid for dd to have some chicken nugget meal bag, as I had assumed that was what the other children were having (because the lady at the desk had said that dd wouldn't notice the difference). I felt like a right numpty. All the other children went off to line up for the buffet. I told dd to stay beside me. She started whining so I went and asked the staff member when dd's meal would be brought in. She didn't know what I was on about so I explained. She said she wasn't sure if dd's meal would be allowed to be brought into the party room and she'd go and check.

Anyway, me and dd were sat there in a wee corner for about 15 minutes. No one said anything to us. A few people looked over and smiled. Again, I felt totally mortified. I tried to catch Annie's mum's eye, but she was forever talking to people. So i just said very loudly to a whining dd that her dinner will be brought in soon, hoping someone might say something to me (or perhaps invite dd to come and get a sandwich or something) but no one did.

By the time they were all getting jelly and ice cream, dd's chicken nuggets and chips arrived. So that preoccupied her from the fact she wasn't getting ice cream.

After eating, they all went out to the soft play again for ten minutes. Then it was time to go. The other children were all leaving with party bags. I tried to distract dd but she said very loudly (Annie's mum was standing next to us), "Can i have one too?"

Annie's mum was clearly ignoring her seemed not to hear her, so dd tapped her on the arm and said, "Excuse me, can I have one, too?"

I apologised and asked dd not to be rude, and to say thank you for the invitation etc. DD was getting upset and asked me "But whyyyyyy can't I have one?"

So Annie's Mum knelt down to her and said with a big smile, "See your lovely little bangle? It's yellow. Only the boys and girls with red ones get a party bag. Buuut, do you know what children with yellow bangles get? Something even better. They get a piece of cake. Isn't that wonderful?"

I was pretty much like Shock but dd thought that it was indeed wonderful. Annie's mum promised her a bit of cake 'in a wee minute'. So again, me and dd were standing there like numpties while Annie's mum continued dishing out bags to the other children and chatting to their parents. I kept saying to dd "Let's just go and I'll buy you a treat from the cake shop', but she was adamant she wanted a piece of Annie's birthday cake.

So we found a wee table and sat there. Once everyone had gone, Annie's mum disappeared into the party room again. Ten minutes later, she came out with all of Annie's presents etc, coat on clearly ready to go home. I smiled at her in a 'did you forget about us?' kind of way. She seemed surprised to see us. Apologised and said that the cake was all boxed up now but that she'd make sure Annie brought some in on Monday to school for dd.

DD was not pleased.

So... AIBU to think this was the worst party ever? I realise I should have left much earlier than I did, but dd had spent the whole morning getting ready, making Annie's card, wrapping her gift, drawing Annie a picture, talking about the party, that she would have been heartbroken if i brought her home early.

I just feel so embarrassed.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 24/08/2013 21:38

This is so ridiculously odd that my thinking us that there must be more to it.

Like danica said up thread, perhaps there were 10 parents in on some kind of joke, and their invite said 12.30 to make sure they were the ten there first.

Really odd and horrid though.

Hippymama · 24/08/2013 21:39

Have read this thread and my flabber is well and truly gasted. Appalling behaviour from Annie's mum. Cuntpuffin is my new favourite insult :)

cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 21:39

lizzzyyliveson is speaking sense.

Pixel · 24/08/2013 21:41

How unbelievably awful, not only having to pay to get in but then being ignored throughout the 'party'. I would probably have been the same as the OP, I'd have paid to get in for dd's sake and then stood there being silently mortified.

What a shame the soft play people only made the situation worse. The woman at the desk should never have told you that there would be no difference with the food/party bags etc, she must have known the parties had buffets.

Noseynoonoo · 24/08/2013 21:42

Crikey. I have never heard of anything so rude in my life.

If you do send a text, do let us know what you have written.

Floggingmolly · 24/08/2013 21:45

Annie's mum may well be an alpha mum, but it's almost inconceivable that the other 9 mums could be just as socially inept as she is.
What cause would they have to scorn and ridicule the op? Hmm

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/08/2013 21:48

I would love to tell CuntPuffinMum a few home truths for you, OP. this is why we need the Mumsnet Hit Squad. We could tour the country, telling off Cunt Puffins and evil ILs and Gluezillas and Bridezillas.

QueenofWhispers · 24/08/2013 21:49

Did you RSVP?

cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 21:50

Oh for the love of Pete, QueenofWhispers, read the whole fucking thread before you make such an inane post.

kotinka · 24/08/2013 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

doorbellringer · 24/08/2013 21:52

Since she is Scottish send this text:(I will provide translation for our southern neighbours)

Here you cuntybaws, what was the Hampden today with the weins party? Did u cash in ginger bottles to pay the chosen ten into that pure pish soft play malarkey. U are tighter than two coats of paint ya bint. My lassie could have run rings round the rest of the red band dobbers - just as well she had to sit out of the games.
Yer party was in a manky soft play with deep fried mars bars, shove your non appearing cake up yer shiter and gies ma present back you don't deserve it fudnut. Learn some manners for Wee Annie's next party or someone will knock yer pan in for doing that to weins!!

Interpreted as:
Dear Cuntybollocks mum, what was the deal with the aforementioned gathering today. Did u pay with 30p return pop bottles into the party venue. U seemed a little lean in the pocket. My little girl would have excelled at the party games, mores the pity she didn't get to participate.
The venue and food was lacklustre and badly organised. Please don't fret about providing cake I shall arrange it. Please return the present as it was not deserved. Please learn some social etiquette for the next party fannyhead or some other parents will take umbridge and raise the matter with u.

Thoughts? Grin

Justforlaughs · 24/08/2013 21:54

I'd be tempted to complain to the soft play manager about the false info given.

doorbellringer · 24/08/2013 21:54

Sorry random Sad wasn't meant. Was meant to be a ( open bracket thingy!

nickelbabe · 24/08/2013 21:55

okay betty was the party at your soft play 12:30? and were people still arriving at 1?

pigletmania · 24/08/2013 21:57

Omg what a rude horrid woman, fancy doing that to a little girl. I would havd gone somewhere else when the lady said i had to pay as Annies mum only paid for 10. I am [shock

ExitPursuedByABear · 24/08/2013 21:58

I want to be on the hit squad. I do a fine line in arsey aggression.

Queen. Change your settings away from pages and highlight the op's posts.

cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 21:59

Bit of a west coast bias vibe in that text doorbell.

For our east cost friends:

Hi, Cunt! Ma bairn wiznae twa fashed wi yer pairty patter this efty. Ahl be fucked if am gonnae be gein yer bairn a present fur that pile ae shite ye served up.

Translation:

Greetings Front Bottom. My child was unimpressed with your party demeanour this afternoon. I will be requesting the return of our present as the proceedings were less than adequate for our needs.

arethereanyleftatall · 24/08/2013 21:59

Grin doorbell

dufflefluffle · 24/08/2013 22:01

Please contact the soft play place and tell them how easy it would be for them to not be such gobshites make parents and children fit seamlessly in in cases like this! They sound like the bottom of the barrel re staff - how much initiative would it have taken even the most inexperienced student to sort the whole thing out once you were willing to pay. I would never darken their door again and I'd be tempted to find a way to make annie's mum feel how you did though I think her hide might be too rhinocerous-like

kotinka · 24/08/2013 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/08/2013 22:02

She RSVP'd the same day she got the invitation, QueenOfWhispers - she said so hours ago.

Gluezilla is the bride on a series of threads by TidyDancer. She sent TidyDancer, and 99 others, Save the Date cards for her wedding, then only actually invited 80 of them. TidyDancer was not amongst those honoured with an invitation. She was a bit miffed, but understood that sometimes budgets or plans change so accepted she wasn't invited.

Then, some time later, the bride contacted her to ask if she would come and decorate the reception venue for the wedding - the wedding to,which she hadn't rated an invitation! More front than Blackpool was one phrase used to describe,this bride, plus,the question, 'is she on glue?' - hence Gluezilla.

The story is on its 4th thread now - the bride is baffled as to why TidyDancer hasn't leapt at the chance to organise childcare for,her child and decorate the bride's venue for free. There have been passive-aggressive Facebook statuses, and the bride's sister has been roped in to pressure TidyDancer.

Here is the first thread - the rest follow on. They are well worth a read!

foslady · 24/08/2013 22:02

I bet the 10 childrens parents who were classed as 1st in weren't impressed either - I'd have been as embarrassed as hell to think that my child had been treated better when others were left out

arethereanyleftatall · 24/08/2013 22:04

Grin cushtie

toomanyfionas · 24/08/2013 22:05

I agree that the favoured 10 must have been told an earlier time. Else it would have been bedlam for annie's mum.

cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 22:05

Hmm, I think they were more likely to be thinking "phew, glad we made the cut". People can be self-serving bastards.

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