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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was the worst children's party EVER?

999 replies

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 24/08/2013 16:15

This may be very long as I have a habit of rambling.

DD came home from school with an invitation last week for her classmate's (let's call her Annie) 6th birthday party. So off we trotted to the soft play today at 1pm.

The lady at the desk said it would be £4.50 to get in. I was a bit embarrassed and said I hadn't realised I would need to pay. The lady explained that Annie's mum had invited 20 children but only paid for 10. And had instructed staff to let the first ten in for free (first come first served) and then charge the rest.

I asked if dd would be included in the party games/food, and the lady said that I could pay for dd to have a meal and she could eat it with the paid children and wouldn't know the difference. And that there was no charge to join in the party games.

DD was getting a bit anxious/upset, so i paid her entry fee, prepaid her dinner and took her in.

Annie's mum never mentioned a thing. She just greeted us, told me where the cafe was and sent dd off to play. And I was too embarrassed to ask about the cost.

I didn't want to leave dd, so I just sat myself down on a wee bench next to the play area. After an hour, the children were called down from the soft play to go next door into the party room for games and food.

Again, Annie's mum didn't say anything re the people who hadn't paid. She just disappeared into the room with Annie before everyone had finished gathering at the door.

The 'paid' children all went inside, showing the lady at the door their little wrist bands. My dd's band was yellow (all the paid children's were red). I asked if it was okay for me to take dd in. The woman said that dd wasn't paid for. I explained that i'd spoken to a woman at the front desk and had paid for her dinner etc. The lady at the door told me to wait a minute, went away (presumably to the front desk), came back 5 minutes later and said me and dd could go in.

The other 'paying' parents (I could only count around 4 of them) said they weren't paying anything else and were just going to stay in the soft play.

So me and dd went into the party room. The children were already half way through a game of pass the parcel. Me and dd waited at the side for it to finish.

There was one more game (musical chairs) which dd got up to join in with. But the staff member (another different lady) said that she wasn't expecting another child and that she'd have to go next door for another chair. She left the room and i felt mortified. I felt like everyone was thinking I'd just sneaked into the room or something. The lady came back, along with the staff member from outside the door. Both gave me a big smile and then invited dd to sit down.

After that game, it was party food time.

Members of staff started bringing in buffet style food for the long table at the back of the room. I had paid for dd to have some chicken nugget meal bag, as I had assumed that was what the other children were having (because the lady at the desk had said that dd wouldn't notice the difference). I felt like a right numpty. All the other children went off to line up for the buffet. I told dd to stay beside me. She started whining so I went and asked the staff member when dd's meal would be brought in. She didn't know what I was on about so I explained. She said she wasn't sure if dd's meal would be allowed to be brought into the party room and she'd go and check.

Anyway, me and dd were sat there in a wee corner for about 15 minutes. No one said anything to us. A few people looked over and smiled. Again, I felt totally mortified. I tried to catch Annie's mum's eye, but she was forever talking to people. So i just said very loudly to a whining dd that her dinner will be brought in soon, hoping someone might say something to me (or perhaps invite dd to come and get a sandwich or something) but no one did.

By the time they were all getting jelly and ice cream, dd's chicken nuggets and chips arrived. So that preoccupied her from the fact she wasn't getting ice cream.

After eating, they all went out to the soft play again for ten minutes. Then it was time to go. The other children were all leaving with party bags. I tried to distract dd but she said very loudly (Annie's mum was standing next to us), "Can i have one too?"

Annie's mum was clearly ignoring her seemed not to hear her, so dd tapped her on the arm and said, "Excuse me, can I have one, too?"

I apologised and asked dd not to be rude, and to say thank you for the invitation etc. DD was getting upset and asked me "But whyyyyyy can't I have one?"

So Annie's Mum knelt down to her and said with a big smile, "See your lovely little bangle? It's yellow. Only the boys and girls with red ones get a party bag. Buuut, do you know what children with yellow bangles get? Something even better. They get a piece of cake. Isn't that wonderful?"

I was pretty much like Shock but dd thought that it was indeed wonderful. Annie's mum promised her a bit of cake 'in a wee minute'. So again, me and dd were standing there like numpties while Annie's mum continued dishing out bags to the other children and chatting to their parents. I kept saying to dd "Let's just go and I'll buy you a treat from the cake shop', but she was adamant she wanted a piece of Annie's birthday cake.

So we found a wee table and sat there. Once everyone had gone, Annie's mum disappeared into the party room again. Ten minutes later, she came out with all of Annie's presents etc, coat on clearly ready to go home. I smiled at her in a 'did you forget about us?' kind of way. She seemed surprised to see us. Apologised and said that the cake was all boxed up now but that she'd make sure Annie brought some in on Monday to school for dd.

DD was not pleased.

So... AIBU to think this was the worst party ever? I realise I should have left much earlier than I did, but dd had spent the whole morning getting ready, making Annie's card, wrapping her gift, drawing Annie a picture, talking about the party, that she would have been heartbroken if i brought her home early.

I just feel so embarrassed.

OP posts:
Bingdweller · 24/08/2013 21:09

rooners, I'm guessing Betty is meaning the Forth Road Bridge, or similar.....

kotinka · 24/08/2013 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShellyBoobs · 24/08/2013 21:11

Just wondering if this was near a venue close to a large bridge today?

BettyandDon - you do know that troll hunting isn't allowed here?

whitesugar · 24/08/2013 21:12

I wouldn't bother texting her. At the school gate I would walk up to her and say very sweetly 'don't you ever treat my daughter like that again' and walk away. Then tell every single person you meet about the birthday party. I have heard some stories about parents' bad behaviour at parties but I can honestly say now that I have heard it all. The upside is you will entertain people for years on this story.

SeaSickSal · 24/08/2013 21:12

Send the text. Don't let her get away with it!

Rooners · 24/08/2013 21:14

Yes I hope so!

Theimpossiblegirl · 24/08/2013 21:14

This was the worst children's party ever and I hope Annie's mum reads this thread.

Betty- were you there too?

CSIJanner · 24/08/2013 21:14

I've only read the OP but just wanted to say that I literately have nothing to say. Gobsmacked! Fucking hell!

Give your DD a hug from me. What a shit thing to do to 10 6year olds who are classmates. Annie's going to have this follow her like a bad smell for a few years.

Theimpossiblegirl · 24/08/2013 21:15

(I wasn't there, I would have spoken out and probably got told off by my DD). :)

flumposie · 24/08/2013 21:15

Worst party story ever. Please say something to this vile mother.

GrandstandingBlueTit · 24/08/2013 21:15

I don't think B&D is troll-hunting. She's genuinely asking if the venue is by a bridge.

DoItTooJulia · 24/08/2013 21:16

If you think Betty is troll hunting, report it FFS! Don't accuse her of troll hunting! It's almost as bad!

Bingdweller · 24/08/2013 21:17

Yes, there is a soft play in Fife near a bridge Grin.

FreeWee · 24/08/2013 21:17

Oh my goodness! Worst party and worst parent behaviour ever!

Theimpossiblegirl · 24/08/2013 21:20

I don't think it was a troll-hunting comment, I thought Betty was there too.

BettyandDon · 24/08/2013 21:20

Yes I am genuinely asking if it's near a bridge not in Fife though near Glasgow airport!

cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 21:21

Dont worry Betty, we know you weren't troll hunting.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 24/08/2013 21:22

Please send the text to Annie's mum OP - because there is a minute chance that she may be completely unaware of how appalling her behaviour was. Please do send the text. You might even be doing other mums in Annie's class a massive favour where this person is concerned.

Justforlaughs · 24/08/2013 21:23

OP, you HAVE to send that text, I can feel a new TidyDancer replacement thread starting! Wink

kotinka · 24/08/2013 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rockybalboa · 24/08/2013 21:28

Annie's mum needs a smack. That's shameful. In hindsight as soon as you got that explanation from the lady on the door you should have bundled DD home on the basis that there had been a mistake and it was the wrong time/date and then promptly taken her and treated her to something nice where she wouldn't be treated like a second class citizen. But hindsight is a wonderful thing. Just shameful.

lizzzyyliveson · 24/08/2013 21:31

Don't send a text. If you are not confident enough to chat to the other mums at the party then you have no idea what the mother's mafia at your school is like. Annie's mum could well be an alpha mum and you will end up being scorned and ridiculed. Take the high road and mentally cross Annie off your party list for the future.

claudedebussy · 24/08/2013 21:32

strewth!

now i really have heard it all.

i wouldn't say anything though. no need. 9 other parents will probably be saying something or at least talking about it behind her back!

cloutiedumpling · 24/08/2013 21:36

I wouldn't send a text. Gossip spreads like wildfire and the chances are that most of the other parents in the year will have heard all about the party by the middle of next week.

PistachioTruffle · 24/08/2013 21:37

Your poor DD. What a horrible thing to do to small children.

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