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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was the worst children's party EVER?

999 replies

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 24/08/2013 16:15

This may be very long as I have a habit of rambling.

DD came home from school with an invitation last week for her classmate's (let's call her Annie) 6th birthday party. So off we trotted to the soft play today at 1pm.

The lady at the desk said it would be £4.50 to get in. I was a bit embarrassed and said I hadn't realised I would need to pay. The lady explained that Annie's mum had invited 20 children but only paid for 10. And had instructed staff to let the first ten in for free (first come first served) and then charge the rest.

I asked if dd would be included in the party games/food, and the lady said that I could pay for dd to have a meal and she could eat it with the paid children and wouldn't know the difference. And that there was no charge to join in the party games.

DD was getting a bit anxious/upset, so i paid her entry fee, prepaid her dinner and took her in.

Annie's mum never mentioned a thing. She just greeted us, told me where the cafe was and sent dd off to play. And I was too embarrassed to ask about the cost.

I didn't want to leave dd, so I just sat myself down on a wee bench next to the play area. After an hour, the children were called down from the soft play to go next door into the party room for games and food.

Again, Annie's mum didn't say anything re the people who hadn't paid. She just disappeared into the room with Annie before everyone had finished gathering at the door.

The 'paid' children all went inside, showing the lady at the door their little wrist bands. My dd's band was yellow (all the paid children's were red). I asked if it was okay for me to take dd in. The woman said that dd wasn't paid for. I explained that i'd spoken to a woman at the front desk and had paid for her dinner etc. The lady at the door told me to wait a minute, went away (presumably to the front desk), came back 5 minutes later and said me and dd could go in.

The other 'paying' parents (I could only count around 4 of them) said they weren't paying anything else and were just going to stay in the soft play.

So me and dd went into the party room. The children were already half way through a game of pass the parcel. Me and dd waited at the side for it to finish.

There was one more game (musical chairs) which dd got up to join in with. But the staff member (another different lady) said that she wasn't expecting another child and that she'd have to go next door for another chair. She left the room and i felt mortified. I felt like everyone was thinking I'd just sneaked into the room or something. The lady came back, along with the staff member from outside the door. Both gave me a big smile and then invited dd to sit down.

After that game, it was party food time.

Members of staff started bringing in buffet style food for the long table at the back of the room. I had paid for dd to have some chicken nugget meal bag, as I had assumed that was what the other children were having (because the lady at the desk had said that dd wouldn't notice the difference). I felt like a right numpty. All the other children went off to line up for the buffet. I told dd to stay beside me. She started whining so I went and asked the staff member when dd's meal would be brought in. She didn't know what I was on about so I explained. She said she wasn't sure if dd's meal would be allowed to be brought into the party room and she'd go and check.

Anyway, me and dd were sat there in a wee corner for about 15 minutes. No one said anything to us. A few people looked over and smiled. Again, I felt totally mortified. I tried to catch Annie's mum's eye, but she was forever talking to people. So i just said very loudly to a whining dd that her dinner will be brought in soon, hoping someone might say something to me (or perhaps invite dd to come and get a sandwich or something) but no one did.

By the time they were all getting jelly and ice cream, dd's chicken nuggets and chips arrived. So that preoccupied her from the fact she wasn't getting ice cream.

After eating, they all went out to the soft play again for ten minutes. Then it was time to go. The other children were all leaving with party bags. I tried to distract dd but she said very loudly (Annie's mum was standing next to us), "Can i have one too?"

Annie's mum was clearly ignoring her seemed not to hear her, so dd tapped her on the arm and said, "Excuse me, can I have one, too?"

I apologised and asked dd not to be rude, and to say thank you for the invitation etc. DD was getting upset and asked me "But whyyyyyy can't I have one?"

So Annie's Mum knelt down to her and said with a big smile, "See your lovely little bangle? It's yellow. Only the boys and girls with red ones get a party bag. Buuut, do you know what children with yellow bangles get? Something even better. They get a piece of cake. Isn't that wonderful?"

I was pretty much like Shock but dd thought that it was indeed wonderful. Annie's mum promised her a bit of cake 'in a wee minute'. So again, me and dd were standing there like numpties while Annie's mum continued dishing out bags to the other children and chatting to their parents. I kept saying to dd "Let's just go and I'll buy you a treat from the cake shop', but she was adamant she wanted a piece of Annie's birthday cake.

So we found a wee table and sat there. Once everyone had gone, Annie's mum disappeared into the party room again. Ten minutes later, she came out with all of Annie's presents etc, coat on clearly ready to go home. I smiled at her in a 'did you forget about us?' kind of way. She seemed surprised to see us. Apologised and said that the cake was all boxed up now but that she'd make sure Annie brought some in on Monday to school for dd.

DD was not pleased.

So... AIBU to think this was the worst party ever? I realise I should have left much earlier than I did, but dd had spent the whole morning getting ready, making Annie's card, wrapping her gift, drawing Annie a picture, talking about the party, that she would have been heartbroken if i brought her home early.

I just feel so embarrassed.

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 24/08/2013 20:35

Annie's mum is a total cunt.

Bea' s text is spot on.

LemonBreeland · 24/08/2013 20:36

OMG you must text her. You can not let her get away with this.

goonIcantakeit · 24/08/2013 20:36

I'm actually jealous because I could dine out on this for the rest of my life....

knickernicker · 24/08/2013 20:37

I like your text amandine. Mad mum will probably not get it and just repeat what op knows, that it was 1st come first served.

FoodieToo · 24/08/2013 20:40

First ever thread I had to share with Dh !
Shocking beyond belief. I would definitely send a text.

Why on earth should your dd be treated like that? Terrible .

CookieLady · 24/08/2013 20:40

Absolutely fucking disgusting! Your poor daughter.

knickernicker · 24/08/2013 20:40

Actually you might need stronger language to get through to her e.g. I am appalled at your disgusting treatment of my daughter and other 'guests' ....now you've got her reading, carefully detail why.

littlemisswise · 24/08/2013 20:40

Please send the text.

DoItTooJulia · 24/08/2013 20:41

Oh OP that's properly dreadful.

Please don't feel bad about texting her, she did so something very weird and very cruel.

I really hope you find the courage to text her.

AaDB · 24/08/2013 20:43

"Annie's mum is a terrible cunt" is a compete sentence. Shock Angry not least for introducing apartheid to 5/6 year olds.

I cannot fathom any of this atrocious behaviour . Making you wait for term minutes for cake and then fecking off home would have given me the rage.

There must be an explanation, I would text and ask if she received your rsvp. You have nothing to lose.

I would get in touch with the soft play venue and complain. They didn't deal with this very well at all. Whenever we have had buffet style, food is always overcatered. Parents and siblings have been invited to join in. At our last party, the staff took food away and brought it back on platters to dish out.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 24/08/2013 20:45

I would modify amandine's text to be

Hi, it's Ewe here. just checking this is the right number for you.

Then when she relies then hit her with "Oh, good. I just wanted to check as I RSVP'd etc."

Otherwise she can just bask in the knowledge that OP thinks she didn't RSVP due to number error.

AnyoneButLulu · 24/08/2013 20:46

Poor DD. definitely Shock.

On the guestzilla side I also had Primrose's experience, for a 5 year old's birthday party (at my home) where mum dumped her two invited children and a random 12 year old cousin who won all the games, nabbed all the piñata goodies and then demanded a party bag. You will be relieved to hear that I did grow a pair and laid down the law on the subject of rationing wins and redistributing the piñata stuff to smaller children, (but I did it nicely because I can't imagine it was her idea of a fun time either).

Toohottohandle · 24/08/2013 20:48

Ridicolous she shoukd have paid for all of the kids red and yellow bands awful

TheOneAndOnlyFell · 24/08/2013 20:51

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

I do hope you didn't leave a present.

DanicaJones · 24/08/2013 20:53

As the "paid for 10" were already playing more than 5 minutes before the party start time the OP was given I'm wondering if she gave the "paid for 10" an earlier start time of say 12.30 as she had already decided who she was going to pay for. Why would she do this though? It's all so odd.

BettyandDon · 24/08/2013 20:58

This reply has been deleted

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TiggyD · 24/08/2013 20:58

OK gang. How can we track her down and tie her up with yellow bands and throw her in a ball pool?

Rooners · 24/08/2013 20:58

The last party we had I invited all the siblings (little ones) and gave them all special party bags - the party itself was crap, think 8 8yo's on a trampoline in the pouring rain, injuries, torn nets, you name it Sad but the 5yo girls loved every minute and the party bags were ACE Grin

Disclaimer: the bags are the only bit I can do right...I should set up a business really.

squoosh · 24/08/2013 20:58

Ooooooh are you a yellow/red band Mum Betty?

Rooners · 24/08/2013 21:00

I hope Betty isn't referencing goats.

foslady · 24/08/2013 21:03

Slightly stunned at this one - def worst childrens party ever, party girls mum should be ashamed of doing this to children. Even if she has had prev with no shows, to effectively take it out on children is appalling

needaholidaynow · 24/08/2013 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettyandDon · 24/08/2013 21:08

No we were not at the party but may have been a general punter in the soft play.

Well if it was the same place that is

difficultpickle · 24/08/2013 21:08

I would have taken back the present on my way out. Unbelievable behaviour.

GrandstandingBlueTit · 24/08/2013 21:09

This is one of those deeply infuriating situations where you've so clearly been wronged, but there's no way of righting it, without making yourself look like the questionable one.

I wouldn't text. Anything you send is then out there, in writing, and there for posterity. You could as likely end up being the one being laughed at, depending in whether Annie's Mum has cronies she might share it with.

I would simply think ahead of a few choice one-liners that you can throw out, just in case you come face-to-face with her. Better to be prepared than walk away and think of a perfect response later.

Also, it's always good to seem as if you're slightly laughing at people like this. It really gets on their wick. So whatever you say, definitely make it seem as if you're inwardly laughing at her. It gives you back some of the power, after her ludicrous display at the weekend. Wink