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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

.. to send this message to my knobhead of a boss about a day's sick leave yesterday?

171 replies

Bluestocking · 22/08/2013 15:07

Background; I get terrible menstrual migraines. These are much less frequent now that I'm perimenopausal, but I do still get the occasional one. i got one yesterday and knobhead boss sent me an email with "are you feeling better?" in subject line and no text.
Can I send this or is it too fighty?

Dear (knobhead boss)
Yes, thanks, I am feeling much better today.

I was sorry to learn that you said yesterday to (knobhead boss?s PA) that I?d phoned in sick ?again?, loudly enough for other colleagues to overhear. I looked back at my sickness record for this calendar year (which I cut and pasted into my message ? 5 days since January) and while it?s not perfect, I don?t think it?s anything out of the ordinary. As I?m sure you are aware, I am rarely actually ill, but am occasionally incapacitated by migraines. I realise that it?s inconvenient for you when this happens, but believe me, it?s far worse than inconvenient for me. I would much, much rather spend the day at work than spend it prone in a darkened room with an excruciating headache, nausea and dizziness. As I?ve suffered from monthly migraines for most of my adult life, I?ve probably wasted a full year of my life in this way; this is a matter of considerable regret to me.

I have, as you know, had a consultation with Occupational Health (February 2013) about sick leave associated with migraines. If you think I should go back for another discussion, I would be more than happy to do so.

Regards
Bluestocking

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 22/08/2013 21:43

Why would you not just provide him with a letter from your doctor explaining the regular, short lived migraines?

MotherOfDragon · 22/08/2013 21:50

Soup dragon - that's what I am trying to say!

MotherOfDragon · 22/08/2013 21:51

FryOne - even so the doctor could supply a letter explaining the problem?

VelvetSpoon · 22/08/2013 21:53

Most companies invoke sickness procedures after 3 separate absences, or a total of 8 days off, whichever is reached first, in a rolling 12 month period.

So in that context, 5 absences is a lot, and would take you into the second stage of the procedure, or close to it.

I previously worked for a company who stopped paying for the first 3 days sick leave...after 6 months absence levels had been reduced by over 50%.

ilovesooty · 22/08/2013 21:55

3 separate absences in a 6 month period start official procedures at our place.

ilovesooty · 22/08/2013 21:56

And new employees don't get paid for the first day of absence.

Original poster
Bluestocking · 22/08/2013 21:57

Actually, knobhead boss did have the info about my migraines when he appointed me, because one of the pieces of information I had to provide was details of my sickness record for the previous two years. So that might be a route worth pursuing to try and get him off my case.
When I saw the Occupational Health adviser, she was very sympathetic, and said that as long as I'd consulted my GP/optician/dentist about all the possible physical triggers (wrong glasses/jaw clenching etc) then she appreciated that there wasn't much that could be done.
The nature of my work does require me to spend considerable chunks of time staring at a computer, which probably doesn't help.

OP posts:
BoozyBear · 22/08/2013 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrueStory · 22/08/2013 22:05

It sounds like you have a strong case then Bluestocking. Perhaps you also need to get further support from GP and occupational Health Advisor. (BTW, have you got a trade union, it might be helpful to get support there.) Hope you find a way to work it all out. Its difficult when you have an illness that pops up like that, and I hope you get the support you need

FryOneFatManic · 22/08/2013 22:06

MotherOfDragon Thu 22-Aug-13 21:51:42
FryOne - even so the doctor could supply a letter explaining the problem?

Not all doctors would be happy providing the letter, I'm pretty sure those that would write would charge for it, same as for a sick note that's for less than a week.

Or would you be happy seeing a box of prescription tablets, with the prescription label on? I would certainly begrudge paying out for a letter (a friend of mine had to get a letter from her doctor over something for work and was charged £30).

Original poster
Bluestocking · 22/08/2013 22:09

Thanks, TrueStory, I am a union member and would consult them if it got that far - but I wonder if a letter from my GP would allay suspicions that I'm a shirker. Also wondering if I should get DP to drive me in next time I have one - perhaps once he's experienced my semi-immobile, grey, zombified face and disjointed speech, he'd be less knobby.

OP posts:
MotherOfDragon · 22/08/2013 22:09

Fry- I'd be happy with a prescription.

Morloth · 22/08/2013 22:31

Take the Sumatriptan even if the migraine is already burning. It won't be as effective but it might downgrade it to a bad headache that you can push through.

Voerendaal · 22/08/2013 22:35

Have you tried the Migraine Society. They has loads of employment law knowledge and can help you. Look them up and email them. Also go to your GP - can you try prophylactic drugs. You have probably tried them but go back and see if here is anything else or new you could try. Having a day off sick nearly every month is no good for you or your employer. Get medical help. I know that there isn't an answer to hormonal migraines as such but if you can b seen to be trying to get help, it looks better at work. And unfortunately it is really hard to get migraine to be classed as a disability. Menstrual migraines are the absolute pits, I know , I have suffered then for 20 + years. Propranolol is workin for me at the moment. It won't work for ever I know but at least I have no had a migraine for last 6 months which is amazing.

princesspeabody · 22/08/2013 23:20

Sorry, haven't read whole thread...

I'm PA to a knobhead boss and an email like that would go down like a lead balloon. A brief but polite reply will suffice.

Five days sick in eight months is considered high in my company (400 staff). Go over five days and you get added to the sickness league table on the monthly management report. Funnily enough, the MD's PA is the star performer!

Don't create a problem here. If they want to investigate what is going on there is ways and means. You can then explain yourself...

southeastdweller · 23/08/2013 08:43

By what measure or standard do you think taking five days sick leave over eight months isn't excessive?

You'd be a fool to send the letter.

Also think you should be looking at other jobs.

MissAntithetic · 23/08/2013 08:58

It drives me mad this. In 14 years of employment I have had one instance of sick leave for 6 weeks.

I'm luckily that I'm pretty healthy and just get ill when I'm off instead

However I was a deputy manager before my daughter was born and the company I worked for used to irritate me with their policies. (Work with ld)

I found staff generally fell into 3 camps

  1. Those who phoned in sick when they CBa. Usually on a weekend, usually with non doctor needing illness
  2. Those who never phoned in but dragged their arses to work with flu, stomach bugs etc to work with vulnerable adults
  3. Those who only took time off when needed

I had no problem with 3. 1 used to make me thankful of the strict policy but the strict policy would scare those in group 2.

The best bit was when I had my back to work interview after my 6 weeks off.
After answering the questions such as "do you feel equipped to so your job" "do you feel you need more training" " do you feel supported in your role" "is there anything we can do to reduce your absence"

I got then to write a note on it saying I was perfectly happy to come to work had I been given office duties that I asked for, but since they refused I had to take sick leave as I could walk with two crutches and push a wheelchair across town which is what the job expected from me.

Dicks

IneedAsockamnesty · 23/08/2013 09:32

My dd has a disability due to a rta that means she has no feeling in many areas of her body.

Someone in her work left a heater on under her desk and didnt tell her.she couldn't feel it untill she had burnt rather a large hole in her leg, she had to go to hospital and have major surgery.

On her return she was disaplined and despite having a union rep with her providing all medical info requested and it occurring at work (and the heater being left on by the person heading the meeting) she was still put on a final warning and this was quite a large company.

Some employers are shit and especially shit with those who are perceived as vulnerable.

asmallandnoisymonkey · 23/08/2013 09:56

I'm sat here laughing my socks off at all the people saying 5 days sickness absence in 8 months is excessive. You're all lucky buggers never to be sick.

If a company told me they were monitoring me for sickness absence for that amount of time off I would have some serious discussions with HR.

This country has a weird fanaticism with sickness - namely that it's not allowed. Of course it's allowed. Sitting in air conditioned offices for 8 hours of your day with colds being spread. When the person next to you refuses to go home when they're sick because they're afraid of an absence review so the whole office gets a cold...

I'm actually shaking my head at the plonkers that think it's ok to make somene feel bad for being I'll.

OP, I can see you've not sent that message, and that's good. Seriously though, don't listen to anyone else that tells you you're not allowed to have time off to be sick. There's a problem with that persons way of thinking on a fundamental level if that's the way they behave.

MrsDeVere · 23/08/2013 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 23/08/2013 10:18

Those in the 'I go to work even when my leg's hanging off/I've got bubonic plague' camp, ever occurred to you that perhaps you're just luckier than the OP, rather than somehow superior?

OP, hopefully writing the email got it out of your system a bit! It's so useful sometimes to write stuff like that but not send it.

I agree that you should seek all the medical/union support you can.

ShellyBoobs · 23/08/2013 10:18

If a company told me they were monitoring me for sickness absence for that amount of time off I would have some serious discussions with HR.

Grin

Good luck with that.

Coconutty · 23/08/2013 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RhondaJean · 23/08/2013 10:23

Thing is there are two patterns of sickness that cause problems.

One is extended periods which is a different case,

The other is regular short term absence which unfortunately op I suspect you are falling into, are your five days absence five seperate absences?

It would probably be looked on more favourably to have one five day absence than five one day absences...

Also who on earth has been tattling to you about what the boss said, tell them to stop gossiping, that's a shitstirrer not a friend,

Good luck!

kali110 · 23/08/2013 10:25

I would have been on a warning for that amount of sick days in that time frame. I have to registered illness and id still be on a warning. You have my symathy though, i get severe migraines, they're evil. They last for days. I had to go work though, they'd have fired me!