.. to send this message to my knobhead of a boss about a day's sick leave yesterday?

[Bluestocking]

Background; I get terrible menstrual migraines. These are much less frequent now that I'm perimenopausal, but I do still get the occasional one. i got one yesterday and knobhead boss sent me an email with "are you feeling better?" in subject line and no text.
Can I send this or is it too fighty?

Dear (knobhead boss)
Yes, thanks, I am feeling much better today.

I was sorry to learn that you said yesterday to (knobhead boss?s PA) that I?d phoned in sick ?again?, loudly enough for other colleagues to overhear. I looked back at my sickness record for this calendar year (which I cut and pasted into my message ? 5 days since January) and while it?s not perfect, I don?t think it?s anything out of the ordinary. As I?m sure you are aware, I am rarely actually ill, but am occasionally incapacitated by migraines. I realise that it?s inconvenient for you when this happens, but believe me, it?s far worse than inconvenient for me. I would much, much rather spend the day at work than spend it prone in a darkened room with an excruciating headache, nausea and dizziness. As I?ve suffered from monthly migraines for most of my adult life, I?ve probably wasted a full year of my life in this way; this is a matter of considerable regret to me.

I have, as you know, had a consultation with Occupational Health (February 2013) about sick leave associated with migraines. If you think I should go back for another discussion, I would be more than happy to do so.

Regards
Bluestocking

Aside from all the judgmental comments....

My niece gets terrible migraines, but she has finally found a medication that works, at the smallest hint of one, she takes a pill, and migraine does not descend on her. She has gone from weekly "attacks" to bimonthly. Anything you could take?

I don't think 5 days in 8 months is excessive. What planet are you people on?

YABU re: the email though!

I don't consider 5 days excessive at all, and I'm lucky my boss doesnt either given that I've had 2 weeks with flu and another week with noro. Its only a problem if you're skiving imo. 5 separate I incidences of illness can look bad I suppose.

Thanks, Quint, I do have a prescription for sumatriptan, but if I'm going to get a migraine I usually wake up with it fully-fledged, and it's then too late to take the meds. I note that your poor niece is still getting two attacks a month - how does this play with her workplace, or isn't she in work yet/at the moment?

I wouldn't send the email, however cathartic it may have been to write it. Very unprofessional of him to discuss your sick record with others, though.

I can't stand the sickness martyrs, who drag their sneezing, coughing, hacking arses into work to demonstrate how dedicated they are, with not a thought for all the colleagues and commuters who've just had their germs spluttered all over them. Sooooo boring.

True that I'd you're sick you can't help it! But I thin k you're at a disadvantage having single days, because no doctors note is required, therefore it can be interpreted as sick without 'good' reason iyswim - in some ways it's better to be ill for 5 days all at once, as its provable!

I've dragged myself into work in previous jobs, because if you got sent home it wasn't classed as a sick day.

Now I never take sick as I don't get paid for sick days

The average should only be used as a measuring stick to indicate further assessment is needed, eg, where an employee is taking more sick leave than average.

A careful employer (meaning one who doesn't want to get in trouble with the law) should assess sickness on an individual basis once an average has been reached and that's where HR / occ health come in. The averages aren't Kafka-esque or conformist unless they're used with no discussions once it becomes clear an employee is one of the (many) employees who (genuinely or otherwise) requests more sick leave than is average.

I don't think 5 days in 8 months is in any way excessive either. I would imagine that people who do are fortunate enough to be in very good health.

That said, I did use to work at a horrible very large firm of solicitors as a Junior Secretary many, many years ago (before Windows was the standard OS ), and their "acceptable level" of sickness was 7 days in 12 months. Anything above this would be 'investigated'.

I don't think I'd send that - what does your contract say about sick pay? You don't want to end up on SSP. 5 days is quite a lot. I sympathise as I have migraines - luckily so does my boss! But I normally get them at the weekend.

She is just 18 and still in education. She has missed a lot, and it has impacted on her grades. She will be sitting her final "A levels" in spring, so fingers crossed she will have a good year without too much of the dreaded head aches. It is a lot worse when she feels under pressure, or if she is knackered from too much studying, and too much time infront of her computer.

I wouldn't say even remotely useless, you can't help the migraines coming and I highly doubt you like getting them!

I also don't think 5 days is excessive, however, in my place we have to be careful - it's a huge chain takeaway so my boss is very wary of any of us getting even slightly sick. He errs on the side of caution with any kind of stomach issue or cold(anything that could possibly be contagious I suppose) - and fair play to him, no one wants to get sued. And you can't help when you get sick. He'd rather send someone with a heavy cold home in winter and tell them to get a duvet and some hot chocolate and recover in a day or two than have them force themselves to work everyday and the cold last 2 weeks and risk everyone else getting sick, or worse passing it to a customer.

I'm guessing sickness and that depends on where you work?

I have a senior male colleague who has shocking migraines and has to go home when they strike. I think the way it works for him, is that he is very open about them, and he is known to work very hard the rest of the time, so he certainly puts those hours back. And of course, its not gynae related so he gets more sympathy.

He does have some very strong meds that do work for him- perhaps it would be worth seeing a new specialist to get a second opinion? They might be able to give you a better preventative regime.

Ignore the reports of upset teams, they mayjust be stirring. If he is being a knobhead generally, you want to call him on it when the knobheadedness has nothing to do with your sickness record. Wait for him to do the next knobhead thing and call him on that instead, if you want to go there.

Most companies use the Bradford index - number of absences x number of absences x total days off. So OP would have a score of 125, which, in many companies is where the disciplinary process kicks in.

Whereas, if you'd had a week of flu, and a week of food poisoning, you'd score would only be 40.

I agree, don't send your suggested email as it is not answering the question asked (one of my personal bugbears!!) just reply along the lines of "much better, thank you, is there anything I need to know about from yesterday?" Or words to that effect.
I've had 8 days off since January. 1 with a severe cold (couldn't remove tissue from nose without drips...!), 2 with labyrinthitis (causing nausea, dizziness and vertigo) and 5 with "typical flu symptoms, but definitely not flu, tonsillitis in one tonsil, which isn't possible, and a mild tummy bug"

Hey bluestocking would it cheer you up if I breezed in and said that as a self-employed person there's no such thing as sick leave for us? Would it? Would it?

"Oh look at me, I'm never sick, I've taken zero days off in 18 years of employment. I'm so fucking fabulous".

Oh do fuck off, there's a dear.

HandMini but why does an employer, careful or otherwise, need to "assess sickness on an individual basis once an average has been reached" anyway? What's wrong with just using common sense?

I understand that if people are abusing the system companies have a right to ask questions, and that occupational health is a corporate obligation.

But using averages seems a very blunt and rather Soviet approach....

Offices would be mug healthier places if martyrs who are sick didn't come into the office and contaminate the rest of us. Grrrrrrr

I don't think 5 days is excessive.

Interesting, AP -how does that work?

Migraines are awful, awful things to have.

Some people think their bad headache is a migraine. It is NOT.

Migraines totally knock you out. You cannot function at all when it's in full swing.

When I get one, I can't see properly, I get flashing lights, my skull feels like its being crushed in a vice and I throw up too most times.
Nothing I do helps. Not even my co dydramol helps me anymore.

It's not a "pull yourself together and get to work" kind of an illness.
You have no option but to stay and try and ride it out with a crap load of prescription painkillers.

I had a migraine for 5 days non-stop once. That was fun.

Don't do it. Seriously, don't. You will antagonise him, and he may just have been making a general enquiry.

When you go back, ask to have a chat with him, explain what you have said in the email in a calm, non-confrontational and non-sarcastic way.

Unfortunately, odd, random days of on pretty much a monthly basis never look good on paper. One protracted absence of several weeks would go down better with HR than regular, bitty days here and there. Make sure your boss is in full receipt of the facts about the reasons for your illness, explain that regrettably it is likely to keep happening and that you are aware it looks dodgy so you want make sure he doesn't get the wrong idea about you.

If you are performing well generally then I am sure he will be ok with that.

Quesadilla - of course one would hope HR / occ health use common sense in making their assesments but you have to start somewhere - should HR investigate after 2 days off? Seems too little. 10 days off? Seems too much. So you use an average. Nothing sinister about that. (Or, I don't think, Soviet....but I don't understand what you mean by that.)

When dealing with organisations of hundreds / thousands of people, of course you need process and measurement.

When I came home from hospital having had neurosurgery, work had sent me a lovely letter informing me that I had exceeded my sick days and I needed to attend a disciplinary meeting.

I had to stop my husband from going in and giving them a mouthful. Then a twat from HR came round to my house and said 'Hmm yes, you do look rather poorly' FFS.

I was livid.

It's all about procedure and common sense doesn't come into it. I know everybody should be treated equally, and that's right but people are individuals whose recovery can be adversely affected by some of these Gestapo HR policies. Mine was.

LittlePickleHead - i wouldn't bat an eyelid at you being off sick with flu for a week.

It's the number of absences that matters more.

As someone else mentioned, the Bradford points index picks up on repeated absences much more than the number if days taken.

To work out Bradford points you square the number of absences and multiply the result by the total number of days absent in a rolling 12 months.

So if you have a bad case of flu and take 3 weeks off, it's only 15 points if you haven't been off previously.

I've never known anyone take action at less than 27 points ( 3 single day absences).

Businesses are usually hit harder by repeated absence than a single longer period, so it tends to work pretty well.