.. to send this message to my knobhead of a boss about a day's sick leave yesterday?

[Bluestocking]

Background; I get terrible menstrual migraines. These are much less frequent now that I'm perimenopausal, but I do still get the occasional one. i got one yesterday and knobhead boss sent me an email with "are you feeling better?" in subject line and no text.
Can I send this or is it too fighty?

Dear (knobhead boss)
Yes, thanks, I am feeling much better today.

I was sorry to learn that you said yesterday to (knobhead boss?s PA) that I?d phoned in sick ?again?, loudly enough for other colleagues to overhear. I looked back at my sickness record for this calendar year (which I cut and pasted into my message ? 5 days since January) and while it?s not perfect, I don?t think it?s anything out of the ordinary. As I?m sure you are aware, I am rarely actually ill, but am occasionally incapacitated by migraines. I realise that it?s inconvenient for you when this happens, but believe me, it?s far worse than inconvenient for me. I would much, much rather spend the day at work than spend it prone in a darkened room with an excruciating headache, nausea and dizziness. As I?ve suffered from monthly migraines for most of my adult life, I?ve probably wasted a full year of my life in this way; this is a matter of considerable regret to me.

I have, as you know, had a consultation with Occupational Health (February 2013) about sick leave associated with migraines. If you think I should go back for another discussion, I would be more than happy to do so.

Regards
Bluestocking

You haven't actually sent that have you?

That's a LOT of sick you've taken. Irrespective of the cause, the response, the heresay etc, I'd be treading carefully if I was in your position & coming across as more diplomatic.

I've had one day off sick in 3 yrs, and prob 3 days in the 4 years prior to that (maternity break in middle).

Bluestocking no I'm not saying you're unemployable and I really don't see how you can infer that from my post above.

What I meant was I thought you were being unreasonable in sending the message you posted to your boss. You didn't mention in your original post that your migraines were a disability, it's not automatically the case.

I have had occasional migraines in the past and while mine are no where near bad enough to be classed as a disability, they have affected my behaviour and judgement for a day or so afterwards. The email you posted above comes across rather aggressively. Maybe it's worth speaking to your boss face to face when you're feeling well again to try and discuss with him?

I hope you're feeling much better today :)

I'd be careful re the disability points. Having migraines CAN count as a disability but having migraines doesn't mean you DO have a disability for the purposes of the Disability Discrimination legislation. To be classified you need to have a a physical or mental impairment and the impairment has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on your ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities. It isn't clear cut whether a migraine per month would be caught.

God the 'i've never had a day off sick in a 1000 years' brigade. So what. Be glad for your good health. Otoh, if you're the ones coming into the office when you are ill, spreading your germs....

Op, sorry you have to suffer with migraines monthly and that it's debilitating enough to have to take time off, rubbish luck. Don't send the email though, it could get you a label and even a warning. Type it, stew over it, then delete it!

Hope you are feeling better.

Oh my god do not send that email, you don't know for 100% sure he said anything and if you put that in writing you're asking for trouble

Go and speak to him or with HR if you want to, but your email is emotional, shouty and isn't going to do you any favours

Also, as someone who does occasionally work from home, it's incredibly irritating that some people think it's an excuse for a slack off day, you have no idea what his scheudle is on those days

I'm not sure I've had 5 days off due to my own ill-health in 27 years of working. But (a) I'm a man so don't have your issue and (b) I'm self-employed, the prospect of losing a day's pay is very motivating, and (c) I'm not counting the three months I took off because of sick relative.

(Don't send the message.)

No, have saved it in a secret place, will never send it!
Thanks for all your very helpful comments, I appreciate your input very much, even those of you who are in the "I've never had a day off sick in a 1000 years' brigade" (thanks, onedog!)

I don't think five sick days in eight months is excessive. Some people get sick more than others, there's no sick "quota".

^^This. Nice for some of you that you never get the flu or such. Good on you. However sick leave is important for those who need it which is why it is in place.

Don't send that email OP. Your boss may be a dick but why make life worse for yourself? That is all that it will accomplish.

Don't send the email as it'll just cause you grief. 6 days in a year where I work triggers HR involvement. It's considered a lot. So 5 days since Jan isn't negligible.

I don't think 5 sick days is excessive at all. You could be off for that amount of time for just one bad stomach bug/bout of tonsillitis.

National average is 4.5 days over a year, so 5 days over 8 months would, in many workplaces, be a cause for concern. Many workplaces use national average plus one (5.5 or 6) as their threshold for involving HR / occ health.

If it's 5 x single day absences, you would be looking at a serious disciplinary matter in many companies.

3 absences in 12 months would have got you a written warning at the company I've just left (not for that reason).

5 in 12 months would be a final written warning.

If you send that the next time there is any question of redundancies or job losses you will be first in the queue.

5 (separate) absences over 8 months where I work would have you on second stage of sickness monitoring.

OK, OK, you've all made your point, I'm a useless leadswinging professional sicknote!

god, sorry for thread hijack, I know you can't afford to ignore it but doesn't anyone else think this monitoring of sickness by companies is a bit sinister?

its like something out of kafka

yes, people take the piss with sick leave and companies are within their rights to crack down on egregious pisstakers but the idea that you have to start monitoring people who don't conform to the average makes me think I've gone to sleep and woken up in North Korea.

FFS

I think I might love you a little bit, quesadilla!

Fucking hell Shelly, imagine the stress of being ill but thinking 'I must go into work or I'll get a written warning'. If you are genuinely sick you can't bloody help it! I have a very good sickness record - until I got debilitating food poisoning and was off for a week (and lost a stone in 3 days!). In your work place would I seriously go back to work after I'd recovered to face a written warning? That is so wrong.

I don't think 5 sick days is excessive, I have had that off in the past for an injury thst keft me unable to drive.

However 5 separate sickness periods in that time would have trigged a meeting to discuss it, during that meeting if you have an ongoing conditions it would be planned around.

I would never draw attention to 5 separate sickness periods so don't think the email is the best idea.

It is sad that beacuse of piss takers this hard line stance has to be taken.

I'm glad you decided not to send it.

I know what it's like to suffer from regular pain - I have endometriosis and periods used to be a screaming nightmare, thankfully now controlled with the pill, therefore I sympathise with your illness.

However in our place you would be on third stage sickness monitoring ( I think) by this stage. If I was your manager I certainly wouldn't be blurting out to the office that this was your 5th absence day this year, but I would certainly be thinking it.

I'd suggest a more conciliatory attitude if you do have a back to work discussion with your boss.

bluestocking its a dirty job :)