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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely sick of being the local unpaid childminder?

109 replies

gertrudetrain · 21/08/2013 18:29

I suspect I might be ranting because the 5 day course of antibiotics I've just had have given me raging thrush, the abscess that I was taking them for has flared up the day after finishing the course and my temp is rising by the minute but grrrr.

I currently have 2 different sibling sets in my house, who were waiting outside for ds1&2 when I got home from work at 4. I have just been informed from 1 set that their mum has 'popped out' and their dad has gone to footy. The second set are pretty much left to their own devices and their cheeky fecker of a mum has said in the past 'I trust you with them as I know you are advanced CRB and police checked' because of my job. I have been at work all day, I'm making tea for my 3 dc's and they are doing my head in. I'm just Hmm that you would ship your kids off for over 2 hours and 1. Not check on them and 2. Go out! Eldest is 10, youngest 4. AIBU & miserable or are they taking the piss

OP posts:
Ireallymustbemad · 21/08/2013 18:56

YANBU - they are taking the piss.
Interested to know what the mum says at 7.30.

LEMisdisappointed · 21/08/2013 18:57

I hope you haven't fed them!!!

diddl · 21/08/2013 18:58

"I can't lock the door on the 10 year olds jack I don't know where the parents are!"

But that's not actually your problem, as you weren't asked to look after them!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 21/08/2013 18:59

My Mum was like you OP....she still has people visit her today from those long ago days in the seventies. She's not elderly yet but when she is, she'll still be receiving plenty of visits from the kids she was there for back in the day.

They're not just polite visits either...those kids, that mum helped always remembered her kindness when their parents weren't in and she was. Stay kind.x

jacks365 · 21/08/2013 18:59

I suggested lockingvthe two out who you sent home but kept sneaking back in not the ones upstairs. What would you do if you had to go out?

StephenFrySaidSo · 21/08/2013 19:01

jesus- I would be texting both sets of parents and saying "please come and collect your children immediately as I am leaving my house and your children will be left on your doorsteps. I am not a childminder"

Hissy · 21/08/2013 19:01

Ask for thé 10 yo's phone.

Call the mother back and tell her that you are going to call the police now, and SS in thé morning and that she needs to collect her children immediately. Any luck and the police will be there to meet her.

teenagetantrums · 21/08/2013 19:01

they are not your responsibility just send them home of on to the street I would and have done..

Original poster
gertrudetrain · 21/08/2013 19:09

She's at the supermarket. 5 miles away. So can't collect. And breathe. BTW I work for children's social care so I'm in a pickle about it. I am kind, that's why I do the job I do but it sucks when ppl take advantage. On the plus side the kids love me so might get some visits when I'm a little old lady.

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 21/08/2013 19:09

That is outrageous! I'd tell the parent that next time you'll call the police. It is seriously taking the piss.

fryingpantoface · 21/08/2013 19:10

I'd definitely say something!

Rooners · 21/08/2013 19:13

I can see your problem, when a 4yo is involved.

I would be making it very very clear that this was taking the piss though, if and when the parents arrived home.

StephenFrySaidSo · 21/08/2013 19:14

of course she can collect- if someone told me they were leaving my dcs on my doorstep i'd grab the first taxi there-fuck the shopping!! although I wouldn't make someone and unknowing babysitter without their agreement!

SPBisResisting · 21/08/2013 19:18

Op you do sound like you have good nsturedly put up with it so far. You need to make it clear that this is not on.

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2013 19:20

OP You invited these children into your home

Did you not think about all this beforehand?

It's all well and good having a word with the child's Mum when she picks him up, but I imagine even she is going to wonder why you keep inviting children into your home, when it annoys you so much.

You be everything to everyone all of the time.

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2013 19:21

I meant you can't be everything to everyone all of the time

magentastardust · 21/08/2013 19:22

Well tell her to get home from the supermarket! She is obviously fine with her children being left alone so you should try and not make them your problem-Just tell the children they can't come in to play afterschool.

Are they left with a key (Not that that is much better) or is the mum expecting that someone else will take them in and look after them.

If supermarket mum called daughter then you have her number to call her back and say sorry I can't have your children around today I am ill you will need to collect them.

People are so cheeky and take advantage of lovely kind people like you. Is this regular? I would try and break the cycle and make a few plans like friend/grandparent visits or supermarket trips etc for after school for a few nights just to break the habit of them ending up at yours.

I can understand you being worried about it with the recent kidnapping attempt you would think surely that would have some impact on the parents leaving the kids and they would make more of an effort to not leave their children home alone.

Floggingmolly · 21/08/2013 19:22

She is completely taking the piss!! She actually called her 10 year old to inform him when she'd be home; leaving you out of the equation altogether...
That's breathtakingly rude, and if you don't make that very clear to her, she'll do it again.
And again.

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2013 19:31

Of course she called her 10 year old

She didn't invite the 10yr old into the OP's house so might not have even known he was there.

I'm not sticking up for her because she sounds like a total fuckwit, but the OP invited these children into her home, not their parents.

Floggingmolly · 21/08/2013 19:38

Ok. It sounded like the kids were there with the full knowledge of the parents, who didn't have the manners to make sure it was ok.
Do people really go out at 7.30 in the evening (well, 6.30 at time of op) and not know where their kids are? One set of siblings are 6 and 4...
I'd report that, tbh.

LindyHemming · 21/08/2013 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebody · 21/08/2013 19:40

I just don't understand how you are in this position to he honest.

PenguinBear · 21/08/2013 19:42

Sounds awful. Agree with not feeding, you're good to let them play on the computer using your electricity. I'd have sent them into the garden! Blush

AnneUulmelmahay · 21/08/2013 19:44

Gertie

I say this with kindness: the kids come to the door, you say no, we have plans, shoo shut door. If you have concerns wrt their welfare, well your job will kinda inform what you should do. Don't be a mug, help the children this way.

BramshawHill · 21/08/2013 19:46

I can see why OP felt she had to invite them in. The alternative is to turn them away, not knowing where their parents are, whether they'll be safe waiting on their own doorstep, whether they'll wander off or the attempted abducter would see them out with no supervision etc.

i think its easy to say send them away, don't let them in but if something awful did happen, wouldn't you feel terrible that you'd let them go without passing them over to an adult?