AIBU to want to punch the mother I saw yesterday getting baby's ear's pierced?

[ElleBelly]

Was in Claire's Accessories yesterday with my 4yo daughter, and there was a Mum getting baby's ear's pierced. Bab must have been about six months, and was screaming her head off, made me feel sick. Cannot for the life of me understand why people put their children through that at that age. It's so cruel. And mother was laughing with friends about it! Have got DS second lot of imms this week and dreading it, pathetic,over emitional,hormone befuddled woman I am, and just think its so wrong to put a baby through that pain uneccessarily.
Sorry for the rant but I so wanted to give her a slap.

good point Bling

It isn't actually the pain involved that really bothers me about piercing babies ears...it is the assumption that the babies body is the parents to do with as they please.

Your child isn't a toy or a fashion accessory, it is an actual sentient human being.

Sure, as parents we have to make decisions on medical procedures etc. which we do as best we can.

But ear piercing does not fit into that category any more than tattooing would.

I actually can't understand anyone who thinks they have the right to modify their child's body for non-medical reasons without the child's informed consent.

I would really like to hear an argument from someone who thinks they do have that right though...and then I would like to hear why they don't think that I have the right to modify their body without their permission.

ice thats a good point but (just playing devils advocate) what about the babies with misshapen heads and so have to wear uncomfortable helmets? In a lot of cases (not all) it doesn't affect the child medically just cosmetically.

But I agree. Ear piercing should be left until the child is old enough to make the choice for themselves.

I had my ears pierced before I was quite 2. I don't remember having it done obviously. Of all the piercings I have had since, they are the only ones that have never caused me a problem strangely.

I think times have changed though, it is more uncommon and considered less acceptable than it was in 1990.

I don't think it is abusive though.

What about ear correction? Why subject your child to bullying and embarrassment when a 20 minute procedure can correct it? I didn't get it done when I was young and my life was hell. Mine did, all before 3 because they sadly inherited it from me.

theodora what do you mean by ear correction? An otoplasty? I had otoplasty and it wasn't a 20 min procedure it was a 3 day stay in hospital with surgery under a general anaesthetic.
(I was 13 at the time and it was my decision to have it done)

theo actually I also think it is pretty morally destitute to tackle the problem of bullying by trying to make everyone look the same.

Bullying doesn't happen because you look different, it happens because some people are bullies. They need to change.

I was bullied as a a kid...had nothing to do with appearance....

I admit the line isn't clear. This is where I would put it.

Cosmetic surgery that helps a child functionally
Cosmetic surgery that corrects a major deviation from standard physiology that is non functionally relevant

--- correcting large birth marks etc.--

surgery to meet the parents own personal aesthetic taste (eg. ear piercing)
tattooing 'mommies little fashion accessory' across forehead.

Sorry but I just don't agree. I looked horrible and wish I had had it done younger, I was on the waiting list for 11 years.

What about the hair thing. Why do those with little girls make them have the added time, discomfort and added danger of long hair when they don't have to. Do your little ones ever struggle and even cry when you are detailing/ brushing hair etc? Why do you make your little girls have all that added time and discomfort over boys who usually have short hair.

And ours took 20 minutes and were home within a few hours.

A few seconds ear pearcing to a small baby is probably less stress, hassle, discomfort, time and possibly even tears to those who like to tease and style their little girls hair.

And about the long hair, I agree. In our case the decision was taken from us anyway because said hair was removed with nail scissors by it's wearer. I know so many people who don't let their girls and, just as often actually, boys, have their "cute long hair" cut short even though they hate the maintenance. I have also encountered loads of people on here who won't let their boys have their long hair cut because they (the mum) like it.

theo how can you possible agree with the parent over-ruling the child on hair being wrong, but think that it is okay to make permanent modifications?

Any time the parent is giving their aesthetic taste more weight than the childs is wrong...surely it is more wrong if the child can't even undo the damage once they escape from parental control?

It is all part an parcel of the horrible 'my child, my rules' attitude.

Children aren't toys!

Because it is so obviously different. Ear piercing is one thing but correcting something abnormal is different. You may not agree with me but I am hardly a headband putteroner, ear piercing, gelled up hair on a 1 day old etc person. By the same token, I find the people who force their kids to have long hair or gelled mohicans pretty repellant but I don't get very het up, I may walk past and think it's a bit shit. But abuse? No.
I was made to wear Clothkits, that was pretty shit.

theo did you misread my question? I was asking why you would have more of a problem with parents forcing their kids into impractical / painful hair dos than piercing their ears?

Ah I see how that happened...it was because I wasn't clear...

I think we are just exploring the bigger picture of what could be considered cruel and unnecessary depending on how you view things. Do you think it might be possible that unnecessary hair care could actually be more stress and discomfort over all and in the long run that a seconds discomfort that piercing causes a baby?

I only have boys with sensible no faffing short hair and wouldn't pierce anyway so I am over smug and obviously the best, least cruel parent.

theodora maybe we had different procedures then I don't know. And 11 years on the waiting list?! Blimey. That could be a regional issue, I waited just under a year fully expecting it would be a couple of years.
I agree, it was horrible I'm pleased I got mine done.

About my child my rules surely children need rules and guidance for their safety

indeed...but since when does having their ears pierced increase a childs safety?

and I don't really get het up about either ear piercing or crappy hairstyles. I don't think it's abuse. I actually do think that parents can have control over what happens to their children. I bet there are more kids who would use their so called "informed consent" to get their ears pierced against their parents wishes that there are people who have babies ears pierced. Eek, maybe even a mn person's child would use their informed consent to get ears pierced, drink friut shoots and wear "common" clothes.

We all make choices for our children, it's not illegal and although it's painful for a very short time so is having immunisations. I know imms are for medical reasons but it's still a choice. I think a lot of the attitude towards piercing is snobbery and prejudice, ie in the UK it was seen as a working class therefore less desirable thing to do and where it's the cultural norm India Africa etc, well what do these people know all women over there are oppressed or objectified, it's an arrogant attitude made worse by the idea that "punching" the mother is acceptable that wouldnt traumatise the baby!

I too would have been sickened. Just why?? Would anyone think that's a good look even if you take out the pain thing, it looks awful.