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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to punch the mother I saw yesterday getting baby's ear's pierced?

477 replies

ElleBelly · 21/08/2013 11:59

Was in Claire's Accessories yesterday with my 4yo daughter, and there was a Mum getting baby's ear's pierced. Bab must have been about six months, and was screaming her head off, made me feel sick. Cannot for the life of me understand why people put their children through that at that age. It's so cruel. And mother was laughing with friends about it! Have got DS second lot of imms this week and dreading it, pathetic,over emitional,hormone befuddled woman I am, and just think its so wrong to put a baby through that pain uneccessarily.
Sorry for the rant but I so wanted to give her a slap.

OP posts:
Hippymama · 22/08/2013 09:14

Now now, theodorakisses. That's not very nice... I was just pointing out that it's a bit rich to criticise someone's spelling and grammar when you are also making typos in your posts. If you're going to use something like that as your 'argument' in a discussion, then it is a good idea to make sure you are also blameless in that respect.

SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious · 22/08/2013 09:18

glossy My mum took me as she would have rather have been there than me go to the people doing tattoos in their own home in our area like some others had done. Theirs obviously looked terrible and a few got infected. Mine didn't and is fine nearly 8 years on.

I nagged and nagged and she allowed it as did the tattoo parlour. I'm glad my mum allowed me and took me as I could have ended up with a right mess or worse. 15 year olds know best you see Grin

I have 2 younger sisters and mums waiting for them to say they want their ears doing.

But each to their own. I have a boy so no ear piercing issues here. I am yet to see a baby carrying on like people describe. I have seen babies/toddlers having ears done and haven't seen the reaction people have described yet.

Wuxiapian · 22/08/2013 09:34

Ear piercing on babies/young children, to me, is abuse - the child has no say.

There should be a lower age limit of 12.

Lavidaenrosa · 22/08/2013 09:43

Mind your own business. Mine were done when I was 1 day old. Cultural thing, done by a nurse in the hospital where I was born. I'm glad my parents did it early because I don't remember the pain.

Altinkum · 22/08/2013 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amrapaali · 22/08/2013 09:51

domino you are looking for a reason that does not exist. It is tradition. Pure and simple. Generations of my family have had their ears pierced on their 1st birthday along with a religious ritual. It IS in our religious books, that go back nearly 1500 years.

Most traditions start in religion.

And posters concerned about the pain, who think it is barbaric- i really don't understand this. Most babies do not like being trussed up in scratchy, so called pretty clothes, yet we do this all the time at parties, communions, weddings...is a baby's discomfort on a sliding scale? A short, sharp pain that lasts for a few seconds is worse than an hour of irritation in itchy polyester?

ringaringarosy · 22/08/2013 09:51

i think its wrong to do it until they are old enough to actually want it,and actually understand it stings a bit.nit sure what age that is exactly but my dd is 3 and i dont feel she is old enough to understand that yet,she has asked a couple of times but i just told her shes too small and it hurts,but she can get themdone when shes older if she wants to.

ringaringarosy · 22/08/2013 09:53

amrapaalie i dont think you can compare putting a baby in a cute outfit to piercing a childs skin

Confused
Amrapaali · 22/08/2013 09:58

The comparison may be facile ring but I stand by my point. And comparing pierced ears to FGM, well...!!

StephenFrySaidSo · 22/08/2013 10:06

Umm- we dont all put our dcs in scratchy clothing. Some people actually think about what they are buying and how it will feel on their baby. Id say people who get upset about ear piercing are actually more likely to think about it actually.

pinkyredrose · 22/08/2013 11:16

SP you were tattooed illegally. No decent tattoo artist would risk their license tattooing a minor.

It's 18 by law no exceptions.

SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious · 22/08/2013 11:24

Well it happened and no harm done. Rather that way then the way some people went.

FreudiansSlipper · 22/08/2013 11:33

abuse abuse wtf some need to read up on what abuse is and stop getting so hysterical

its really is not such a big deal a little hole in the ear lobe, nasty if it gets infected but other than that some think it looks nice others do not and of course others shout out chav Hmm yes lets call a child a chav how nice

pianodoodle · 22/08/2013 11:35

Doing it for religious reasons doesn't make it any different a procedure than doing it because you think it looks nice.

Amrapaali · 22/08/2013 11:50

freudian you should know by now, chav is MN's most used word. Followed closely by the words, Daily Mail.

piano that may be your opinion, thinking religious and aesthetic reasons are one and the same. But what is astounding is the fact you pronounce this opinion of yours as indisputable fact.

What smug people abound on Mumsnet...

FreudiansSlipper · 22/08/2013 11:57

do not forget the never ending mentioning of how they shop at john lewis and waitrose

i had mine done at 3, girls in my family have all had their ears pierced young and some their nose too, not as young though

pianodoodle · 22/08/2013 11:59

piano that may be your opinion, thinking religious and aesthetic reasons are one and the same. But what is astounding is the fact you pronounce this opinion of yours as indisputable fact*

pianodoodle · 22/08/2013 12:01

piano that may be your opinion, thinking religious and aesthetic reasons are one and the same. But what is astounding is the fact you pronounce this opinion of yours as indisputable fact

Posted too soon.

No, that isn't my opinion if you read back. I don't think the reasons are one and the same. They are different reasons, but the pain of the procedure is the same.

Amrapaali · 22/08/2013 12:08

Aah, yes. Thanks for clearing that piano

But I still don't understand- the pain is the same, so you recommend the procedure is unnecessary? For religious OR aesthetic reasons?

BitBewildered · 22/08/2013 12:12

My ears were pierced when I was 3mo. The holes aren't level or placed equally on the lobes, so I can't wear studs or some small hoops or drops. I won't be having DD's ears done for that reason, leaving aside any opinion I have regarding children with piercings.

BlingBang · 22/08/2013 12:14

I used to look at it as just cheap, nasty and tacky and the parents were a bit thick as I was looking at it through snooty UK eyes. Listened to folk who explained it was normal and somewhat expected In their country and culture so while I still don't like the practise, might discuss and not agree with it - I don't judge all parents who do it as being unthinking, cruel abusers. I have friends who have done it to their babies/ little children and they are intelligent and loving, they just see it in another way due to their upbringing.

PeriodMath · 22/08/2013 12:14

Those saying they get over the pain very quickly and don't remember it - wtf?

I'm sure there are lots of abusive things one could do to a baby that they wouldn't remember in later life - does that make it ok?

Can somebody please explain why it is acceptable to hurt a baby like this but not an adult? I'm serious. Please tell me why it would be a crime to hold down a screaming adult and puncture their ears against their will but not a child?

Is it because if you don't hear the word "no" you can just presume consent? Hmm

pianodoodle · 22/08/2013 12:17

I think it's unnecessary for any reason because it hurts.

I'm not religious though so my feeling on it is just personal preference.

Obviously people need to go through certain unpleasant procedures for medical reasons and that's different altogether.

I had mine done when I was quite young but old enough to have asked and known what I wanted etc...

SamG76 · 22/08/2013 12:28

BlingBlang - it's nice to hear that someone has actually reconsidered their views after listening to other people. A genuinely liberal attitude is most welcome on MN, and a pleasant contrast to the idea that everything we don't like should be banned.

BlingBang · 22/08/2013 12:29

Why do most parents grow their girls hair long? It takes longer to care for, can cause discomfort when brushing untangling (do your little ones ever struggle or grumble when getting their hair washed/brushed/put into a style), it can be more dangerous than short hair as it can be caught up in things, is harder to treat if they have nits. Why do so many make their little girls lives more faffy and uncomfortable when their is no need and it starts usually at the whim of the parents.

Crazy comparison but why do you make little girls hair care harder and more time consuming than mat do for boys - it's unnecessary after all, and all about culture, vanity and society norms.