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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to punch the mother I saw yesterday getting baby's ear's pierced?

477 replies

ElleBelly · 21/08/2013 11:59

Was in Claire's Accessories yesterday with my 4yo daughter, and there was a Mum getting baby's ear's pierced. Bab must have been about six months, and was screaming her head off, made me feel sick. Cannot for the life of me understand why people put their children through that at that age. It's so cruel. And mother was laughing with friends about it! Have got DS second lot of imms this week and dreading it, pathetic,over emitional,hormone befuddled woman I am, and just think its so wrong to put a baby through that pain uneccessarily.
Sorry for the rant but I so wanted to give her a slap.

OP posts:
brightonbythesea · 21/08/2013 12:31

YABU. I wouldnt do it, I think it is horrible on babies but people can make whatever choices they want about their children within legal limits. Her baby, her choice.

AKissIsNotAContract · 21/08/2013 12:32

why piercing guns should be banned

Tee2072 · 21/08/2013 12:34

It's not illegal. It's not abuse. And it's none of your fucking business.

If it was illegal or abuse and you didn't speak up? Then you'd be a cunt.

You're not a cunt because it's none of your fucking business.

mynameisslimshady · 21/08/2013 12:35

Grin Tee nicely summed up.

Fakebook · 21/08/2013 12:36

^ What Tee said Grin

hardboiledpossum · 21/08/2013 12:36

It should be illegal under 10 though. It also looks grim.

goldenlula · 21/08/2013 12:38

It isn't something I would do, I don't like seeing it on small babies but each to their own. My mum had mine done before I was 2. I don't remember having it done, my mum has said she would now have waited but at the time my nan was very ill and wanted to pay, so she agreed. Dd is 2, she won't be having he ears pierced for some time yet,but if she asks we will talk about it. Oh and apparently I did cry when having mine done, but because they dared to clip my hair back, once y took the clips out I happily had them done!

northernlurker · 21/08/2013 12:39

Of course it's abuse - it's painful, distressing and leaves an open wound on a baby who is completely unable to consent.

RoastedCouchPotatoes · 21/08/2013 12:40

I don't like seeing babies who are distressed, but as I come from a cuiture where most babies have pierced ears, I don't see the total harm in it ifyswim. Although I wouldn't do it, it's not abuse, the baby is more likely to be crying because of the shock/sensation rather than actual pain, and as long as the parents keep the holes clean and make sure the baby grows up knowing about keeping the holes clean and open (or not, if she wants) then I don't see why it matters much. It's not abuse.

The laughing about it is wrong, but it could be a nervous laugh, or a reassuring type laugh or anything, someone might have said that all of them do that, and she laughed in reply, it could be anything tbh.

sherbetpips · 21/08/2013 12:40

Op I am presuming that when you said you wanted to 'give her a slap' (not sure if punching was ever mentioned?) you were using as a familiar phrase, there was no actual violence intended.

Agree on the minimum age thing, never understood the need to decorate something that is already so beautiful but then again when I see little girls covered in pink frills and bows I think the same - as many have said - each to her own nowt to do with the rest of us.

miemohrs · 21/08/2013 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amrapaali · 21/08/2013 12:42

I don't think so, hardboiled. I think around roughly 4 years, a child can usually anticipate pain. That makes it doubly worse. The actual hurt and the mental build-up to the piercing.

And why 10? Do babies feel pain more? Or is it because at 10 they can "decide"?

StephenFrySaidSo · 21/08/2013 12:44

"Really Stephen?"

I see it regularly on my way to/from work as I walk past claire's. tiny one's being held tight on one person's knee and another person holding their head while the baby is thrashing about trying to get away, screeching the place down, faces bright red. some of them try and hold a dummy in the child's mouth. I've seen a bottle being held in too and the baby just screeching around the bottle tip. it's awful.

HeySoulSister · 21/08/2013 12:44

sherbert 'punched' was in the title??

hettienne · 21/08/2013 12:45

No, it's not illegal - but then neither is hitting you children, or shouting abuse at them, or lopping their foreskin off. Doesn't mean most people aren't horrified that supposedly loving parents would subject their helpless little children to pain and suffering.

SilverOldie · 21/08/2013 12:45

I think it's revolting to pierce a baby's ears when they have no say in the matter. Why would you want to put your baby through the pain?

By the way, it's easy to see which of the posters on here have had their own baby's ears pierced.

sherbetpips · 21/08/2013 12:46

Its a bit like docking puppy dogs tails because they look better to the owner - bet the dog doesn't think so. Although we did stop doing that, good old RSPCA.

sherbetpips · 21/08/2013 12:47

ha ha sorry soul sister didnt even read that!

HeySoulSister · 21/08/2013 12:47

i assumed the poster said age 10 because its the age of criminal responsibility? in the uk it is anyway

age 11+ is secondary age and also an age whereby courts listen to a childs view in family courts (though a mature 10 year old would be listened to in most cases,i was thinking of Gillick competency)

Pawprint · 21/08/2013 12:48

I remember getting mine done when I was 15. It really hurt when they did the piercing. I had assumed they would use some local anaesthetic, but no :(

I don't like to see babies or children with pierced ears because of the risk of infection or inhaling the earring.

PGRated · 21/08/2013 12:49

It should be considered abuse. It should be the child's choice when they are old enough.

KellyElly · 21/08/2013 12:49

My DD is three and constantly on at me to have her ears pierced and it's a firm NO. Three reasons - she'd probably end up with only one done because of the pain, she wouldn't be able to take care of them herself and also because personally I don't think it looks nice on young children.

Original poster
ElleBelly · 21/08/2013 12:49

No, there was no actual violence intended, as I wouldn't even want a row in front of my kids of course i wouldnt descend into violence,this was said a little flippantly I suppose.i just think that something that is PAINFUL and is purely for decoration ought not to be carried out on a baby. Once a child is old enough to understand that it will hurt and choose it for themselves, then no problem.

OP posts:
InLoveWithDavidTennant · 21/08/2013 12:53

ive seen it being done too in the claires near me. babies and small children being held down because they are screaming and struggling to get away... and parent is laughing like its the funniest thing ever Angry

it shouldnt be allowed! there should be an age limit like with tattoos

MissBeehiving · 21/08/2013 12:53

Well YABU to want to punch the mother because you'd be committing an offence, probably assault.

But YANBU to dislike the process of ear piercing on small babies.

There is a certain irony in this discussion. Punching mother = assault, putting hole in babies ears = absolutely fine and none of your fucking business

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