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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get up and walk out of my job, like, right now?

106 replies

GemmaPomPom · 21/08/2013 08:15

A bit of background... I work overseas for a huge international company. I have been here 6 months. Soon after I started, I was assigned to work with a guy who is seen as the most difficult person in the company. We seemed to get on really well, and he told me I was doing an "awesome" job. However, at my 3 month probation review, my manager (someone else) told me that I would be kept on probation for a further 3 months asm although my boss was happy, there were some issues between me and a couple of the people in the office. There were, but they blew over pretty quickly. My 6 month probation is up now. However, this manager said that they were not sure if they were keeping me on, as my partner was "on the fence" as to whether to keep me or not, as he had been 3 months ago. I was shocked at this, as I thought I was doing really well, and he certainly hadn't given me any reason to think otherwise. Certainly nothing like this was mentioned at my 3 month review.

So, my boss is coming in on Friday to "talk about it". The vibe I get is that he doesn't want to keep me on. He told me that if my boss did not want me, they would get rid of me. I do not want "sacked" or even worse "let go" on my CV. There are very few jobs here and I am scared I will not get another and I have a family to support.

So, should I just pre-empt it by leaving of my own accord? Like, now? Just handing my laptop and Blackberry to IT and leaving? Would that be unreasonable, in the circumstances?

Thanks.

OP posts:

springytoffs · 23/08/2013 12:35

It sounds terribly messy. Maybe being a collective is all very well on paper but things can end up dysfunctional re you need a vote to hang your hat. Sounds like you'd be much happier in a cut-throat environment, with attendant head honchos whom everyone answers to and that's that etc. At least you'd know where you are instead of all this woolly stuff - suits some people, not others. Doesn't sound like it suits you.

I've before now come unstuck with this type of woolly, people-friendly work environment. If you're aiming for excellence your path is more often than not littered with so many people obstacles.

bourneout · 23/08/2013 14:10

Gemma - sounds like you're having a difficult time.

I know how it feels going back to work when you have a very small baby. It can be very draining and I know I sleepwalked through the first couple of months.

First of, the reason they may not want to keep you on might have nothing to do with your performance. Maybe the company is not doing so well in that sector and they can't afford to keep you on. It is easier to terminate someone on a short term contract than make someone who is permanent redundant. So don't assume it's something you have/haven't done.

If you work for a huge international company, they must have have a central or local HR department that can help you? They should be able to give you advice - both on your performance and what your rights will be if you are not kept on.

otherwise, are there any local advice organizations that could.

If there is a meeting about performance issues/redundancy, someone other than just your boss should be involved. Could someone from HR (if there is someone) or a trusted colleague come to the meeting with your boss with you.

I was asked to leave a job once, and completely ballsed it up by having the first meeting along with the head of the office. To be fair she did rather ambush me.

mycatlikestwiglets · 23/08/2013 14:52

Gemma if you are let go, please don't look at this as having been fired - not being kept on at the end of a probationary period isn't the same thing as being fired at all conceptually. All it means is that this job hasn't worked out/you and the company weren't the right fit - you can absolutely spin that when it comes to looking for another job.

The company should still give you a reference. If it's an international organisation their policy is likely to be solely to state that you worked for them for x amount of time - hardly any companies actually give more detail than that in references these days.

MistressDeeCee · 23/08/2013 15:20

I dont think you should leave, OP. Stick it out, see what happens re. meeting you also might be able to get some points across. Its truly horrible of the company to keep someone in limbo like that, causing instability. I doubt anyone would feel happy and confident if they were in your shoes.

If you feel you cant stick it out and must go eventually, then do so. Life is way too short to be beholden to a job/company that doesnt value you, and makes your working days unhappy. Its not as if you own the company...! There are other jobs. & you have a family life to see to.Good luck.

springytoffs · 23/08/2013 22:01

It doesn't sound like there are too many jobs where OP lives, though. Hence why she hasn't flicked the V and buggered off. Hence why she's having to put up with this shit.

OP I do hope this comes through for you until you can settle down and really work out what you want to do next.

Monty27 · 23/08/2013 22:54

How did it go Gemma?

lymeregis · 23/08/2013 23:32

Hang in there. Don't resign

Original poster

GemmaPomPom · 25/08/2013 11:20

I am in a very fragile state and don't think I will cope if they fire me.

OP posts:

wowfudge · 25/08/2013 11:30

Gemma - from what you have told us everything points to them wanting to keep you, so it would very surprising if they didn't. Keep your chin up and think about all the positives. They are bigger than the negatives.

springytoffy · 25/08/2013 11:35

oh (((Gemma)))

I know what you mean about feeling fragile.

Can you try to step back, look at it from way, way back? I always used to tell my kids about pulling back eg looking at them having a cry and a worry in the bed, pulling back and seeing our city, then our country, then europe, then the world then space lol . It does help to put it in perspective.

Really thinking of you my darling. I do hope something comes through for you. I'm a pray-er btw, you're on the list (if you don't mind?)

whatever, stay on here. People are supporting you.

SkinnedAlive · 25/08/2013 11:40

Gemma you WILL cope. I 100% agree with the posters above - likely as not it is to do with the recession and state of the market NOT your performance. If you were performing that badly then you would have known about it by now, other than these 'reviews'. As has been said, references these days from big companies generally consist of the dates you were employed and also possibly salary so there's nothing that will impact on a future reference.

Best case scenario - you get called in and told you are permanent now (with a raise and better colleagues). Worst case scenario they are not extending your probation - and this is NOT the same as being sacked and can easily be explained away when job hunting. Usually what happens will fall in between the two. I know jobs are hard to find, but are you happy there? Maybe this will be an incentive to start job hunting and you will find a better job with nicer people where you feel secure and appreciated :)

Good luck and hang on in there.

toomanyfionas · 25/08/2013 12:26

Sounds a bit like where I work. First 3 months is probationary and it is dependent on feedback - fom all departments - whether you pass. I have vetoed a few would-be staffers.

We never extend to 6 months though so I m wondering if this is legal in your situation.

I wonder if you will ever be happy in this place though. Could you leave and look for something else? This place seems to be sapping you.

Original poster

GemmaPomPom · 25/08/2013 12:56

They fired me

OP posts:

AmandaHoldenmigroin · 25/08/2013 12:56

I wouldn't leave. If they fired you after repeatedly telling you you are doing well, would you not have a case against them?

AmandaHoldenmigroin · 25/08/2013 12:58

Oh, and they sound like awful people to work for.

AmandaHoldenmigroin · 25/08/2013 13:00

I'm sorry, I think we were posting at the same time. What did they give as a reason? I would make a note of how they treat you. if you had a baby and they are trying to shelve you unnecessarily, it's sounds suspicious.

mycatlikestwiglets · 25/08/2013 13:42

Gemma whatever you feel like you haven't been fired, you just haven't been kept on at the end of your probationary period. I know it must feel awful but please try to look at it differently - and given that your boss was clearly utterly two-faced, you may have had a lucky escape. You WILL find something else (and better) and you WILL get thought this. Concentrate on your baby in the meantime

yegodsandlittlefishes · 25/08/2013 13:46

Gemma, so sorry to hear that. Are you back there tomorrow to work your notice, or was no notice given?

How are you feeling now?

Take a bit of time to get it out of your system and find some time to relax, then get back on to the job hunting.

Have you looked into job agencies which specialise in your sector to help find you a job? they are often the best way to find one as they often know about jobs before they are openly advertised. In fact, that might be why you haven't seen any advertised - it could be that you are doing the looking instead of signing up with the right agencies who would then match you with the right interviews for the right jobs (with some discussion with you first, or course).

Another thing to consider is, instead of worrying whether your job is going to last, aim to get short term contracts, as these are often better paid. you won't be undergoing the emotional rollercoaster of whether you pass your probationary period as there isn't one, you will have to keep being openly looking for the next contract as part of what you do, but it is better than no job at all.

Original poster

GemmaPomPom · 25/08/2013 13:53

Thanks for the messages. I don't know if they want me to go in tomorrow. At the meeting, there was my manager and Head of HR. When my manager told me he wanted me to leave, I handed over my Letter of Resignation and said: "fine, no problem". Then got up to leave. They wanted me to sit down. I said, "I don't need you to justify yourselves. I have asked myself whether [Boss 2] has a point, and I really do suck at what I do. But then I wouldn't have got as far as I have if that were true." Then I left.

By the time I got home, HR lady had left a message for me to call her this evening. I emailed her and said I couldn't as it is my wedding anniversary and we are going out, but I am available until 6pm or tomorrow. I asked whether she wanted me to go in to work tomorrow.

Not sure why i am telling you all this

OP posts:

SeaSickSal · 25/08/2013 13:59

I would get in touch with them. It sounds like at least one of your bosses would be prepared to give you a decent reference so don't jeopardize that. Get in touch and go through the motions with them, make sure you get what you are entitled to and insist on a decent reference.

springytoffy · 25/08/2013 18:18

I'm so sorry to hear that Gemma. God, they put you on the rack, didn't they

It all looks a bit fishy to me tbh. It may not seem like it now, but you're better off out of there. I wonder if the depression etc is partly linked to working there - it isn't until you're well out of it, months later, that you start to realise that may have been the case. That's definitely happened to me where I was part of an org and I started wanting to top myself. It wasn't until I was well out - and myself again - that I realised it was that awful place.

Let's see what they have to say for themselves, anyway.

chin up darling. It's pants but you'll get through this.

chinam · 25/08/2013 18:49

I'm sorry.

Mumsyblouse · 25/08/2013 18:52

I also agree you haven't been fired, just not kept on at the end of the probationary period. It won't look bad on your CV.

Hope you are ok, this hanging over you has caused so much stress and it was really unfair to keep you dangling on like that. I hope in some strange way that at least now you know, you can get upset, let it all out and work out what to do next rather than living in an extremely stressful suspense. Good luck.

Monty27 · 26/08/2013 01:30

I still believe they're up to something. Sorry HR people on here, but there is so much politicking that goes on where I work, which is neither here not there.

Still, I don't think they liked that you resigned. Anyway, keep us up to date, and I don't think it's you it's them. To use a worn out cliche.

Please keep your confidence up, they sound like a shower of... grrr

Hope you had a good evening and dp is supportive . :)

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 26/08/2013 09:23

Don't cut all bridges with them, you still need a reference.

It does sound like you want to just cut all contact and not listen to anything they have to say, you probably are trying to protect yourself. But you are doing yourself a disservice by doing this, by 'protecting' yourself you are actually hurting yourself.

Keep an emotional distance and listen to what the HR person says, and push for the right amount of notice pay and an agreement for a reference.

Then go and cry! But not before!

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