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Original poster

To get up and walk out of my job, like, right now?

106 replies

GemmaPomPom · 21/08/2013 08:15

A bit of background... I work overseas for a huge international company. I have been here 6 months. Soon after I started, I was assigned to work with a guy who is seen as the most difficult person in the company. We seemed to get on really well, and he told me I was doing an "awesome" job. However, at my 3 month probation review, my manager (someone else) told me that I would be kept on probation for a further 3 months asm although my boss was happy, there were some issues between me and a couple of the people in the office. There were, but they blew over pretty quickly. My 6 month probation is up now. However, this manager said that they were not sure if they were keeping me on, as my partner was "on the fence" as to whether to keep me or not, as he had been 3 months ago. I was shocked at this, as I thought I was doing really well, and he certainly hadn't given me any reason to think otherwise. Certainly nothing like this was mentioned at my 3 month review.

So, my boss is coming in on Friday to "talk about it". The vibe I get is that he doesn't want to keep me on. He told me that if my boss did not want me, they would get rid of me. I do not want "sacked" or even worse "let go" on my CV. There are very few jobs here and I am scared I will not get another and I have a family to support.

So, should I just pre-empt it by leaving of my own accord? Like, now? Just handing my laptop and Blackberry to IT and leaving? Would that be unreasonable, in the circumstances?

Thanks.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 21/08/2013 09:16

I just want to say that your fears and worries about rejection are quite understandable and I am sorry you feel so lonely and isolated. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and I hope things improve for you soon.

yegodsandlittlefishes · 21/08/2013 09:32

You might well have done nothing wrong, people lose their jobs after 6 months for no fault of their own all the time. That is what a lot of the job market is turning into, and there is nothing to be gained by being upset by it. It isn't your fault! There might be nothing you could have done differently to keep the job. It could just be they can't afford to make your job permanent.

...Or they might be about to offer you a better job, as you've done so well. It could be that the only thing stopping them is your slight lack of confidence. So there is everything to be gained by sticking at it and enjoying what you can of it while you can.

Eilidhbelle · 21/08/2013 09:34

If he's the most difficult guy in the company, is it possible that he's just playing mind games to wind you up? I'm not saying that's an okay thing to do, but if you thought everything was going well and they didn't mention any poor performance at your review then maybe he's just being a git?

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 21/08/2013 09:39

Hmm, I wonder... I mean, why tell me I am doing an "awesome" job then tell my manager he is "on the fence"? I just don't get it.

Any mgt psych people out there that can provide an explanation?

OP posts:
frostyfingers · 21/08/2013 10:14

Don't walk - it won't make anything better. If they do say they want you to go then ask for a detailed explanation, and tell them that from the indications they have given up until now that there had been no hint as to problems so you are confused. Is there any chance you could ask for a position in a different part of the company?

It's easy to say "don't take it personally" I know, and rejection is shit but try not to let it get to you - if they are going to treat you badly then you will be better off away from them. Good luck.

TVTonight · 21/08/2013 10:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bibliomania · 21/08/2013 10:38

Is it to do with having a baby? That can impact on the way you're perceived at work.

Don't jump before you're pushed, especially when you don't even know you'll be pushed. I've left two jobs when there was mutual dissatisfaction, and it's absolutely hideous going in every day towards the end, but it's better to keep going until the contract is over.

If you've had other jobs when things have gone well, it's going to be pretty easy to gloss over this in future CVs/job applications. You don't need to put down sacked - it's quite legitimately "end of contract". I worried a lot about it, but it was never even an issue.

Sometimes the fit isn't quite right, and it's not the end of the world. Sounds like things aren't easy at home either, given your description of your DH. Sorry you're having such a hard time.

quesadilla · 21/08/2013 10:44

Whatever you do, don't just walk out. Walking out is going to look ten times than having "let go" on your CV, even worse than being sacked imo.

If you are sacked and at the moment its still a big if there will be a way of negotiating it so you can say you were made redundant or whatever. Whatever the outcome is, it will be better than just walking out of a job.

You should find out what your employment rights are in the country where you're based... this varies significantly from place to place. I agree with others as well that you need to plan a bit and come armed with a list of questions about your performance so you can pin them down as much as possible on what you're doing wrong. There may well be room for negotiation and someone who looks like they are working overtime to address perceived issues is worth hanging on to for a company -- don't forget that replacing staff is expensive and time-consuming.

If the worst comes to the worst and you are let go, its not the worst thing that will happen to you, you can come back from it and its definitely better than just walking out. I understand why you're feeling like this but you need to stay clear headed about this.

quesadilla · 21/08/2013 10:44

ten times worse

WeleaseWodger · 21/08/2013 11:08

Maybe the "awesome" comment is meant to encourage you because you come across as unsure? Not everyone is great at giving feedback in a constructive manner and this man may just suck at it and prefers the manager discusses your performance with you.

To me, it sounds like he said you're doing your best. That doesn't necessarily also mean you're the right fit for the company long term and that's what they might mean by still being on the fence.

You need to find our local labour laws. All internationals still adhere and operate under local labour laws.

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 21/08/2013 11:10

Yeah, you might be right Sad

OP posts:
Leopoldina · 21/08/2013 11:15

make a note of all the conversations you've had with ANYONE in the company who has given you good / positive feedback, especially your boss (see if you can get dates / refer to specific work that it relates to) so you are armed and able to counter any accusations of poor work.
Get a copy of your contract and check which country's laws it's subject to. If it's EU, you're going to have reasonable protection on any form of discrimination however I don't know what qualifying periods are / definition of eg unfair dismissal ex-UK. You need Flowery on this thread.

Leopoldina · 21/08/2013 11:15

PS six months always looks like a good time for a fixed term contract or a maternity cover contract...

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 21/08/2013 11:16

Unfortunately, they are perfectly within their rights to terminate me within the probationery period, so there would be nothing I could do.

Damn, I really liked this job Sad

OP posts:
theoriginalandbestrookie · 21/08/2013 11:21

Dh was in a similar position once, the guy he worked for didn't like him and made his life hell. He was given the option just before the 6 month mark of resigning or getting fired, he chose to resign.

He has done well every since - he was contracting so explained the short period as a contract, no one queried it.

I was so glad when he left, it was horrible for him and eroded his usually very high self confidence.

I'm sorry for you, sometimes situations like this come up and well, they just suck.

bibliomania · 21/08/2013 11:24

Tell them that! Tell them about the good feedback. It may still be possible to turn this around. But if you can't, it's still not a disaster - as Leopold says, a 6-month contract still looks okay on a CV.

loveisagirlnameddaisy · 21/08/2013 11:35

Agree with all comments about putting it on your CV as a temp contract; it is very common to work that way now, I have a few short-term roles on my CV and no-one has ever queried it. You can even explain that you felt it was the wrong move for you as I did with one of my jobs - it's not a crime - and that you proactively moved on after 6 months.

Keep the discussion friendly on Friday, show enthusiasm for the role and people, ask for feedback if there is criticism to try and keep it constructive.

And you also sound like you need some emotional support - going through all this on your own with a new baby must be horrible. I have been going through a career low and would have been lost without the support of my DP and friends.

Feminine · 21/08/2013 12:01

Are you in the US?

ilovesooty · 21/08/2013 12:05

If you can identify any good recent feedback ask people to email it to your manager and copy you in

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 21/08/2013 12:57

I don't really work with anyone else. It is very much if my boss doesn't like me, I leave. I asked if I could work for somebody else, but my manager said no.

It's all very bizarre. I honestly have never had any bad feedback from this guy, and he is known as being very upfront and everyone is scared of him.

OP posts:
RiceBurner · 21/08/2013 13:32

Lots of good advice on here already.

If I was you, I would try to hope for the best but (mentally) prepare for the worst, just in case, but in a practical way, without getting upset/panicking.

It's good to have had some warning/a 'heads up', so you won't look too shocked if it actually DOES happen? (But it might not happen.)

If there's a meeting/convo, (sort of thing), prior to you being told about ur contract status, I would smile, be pleasant/confident/professional. If they sound to be on the fence re your future, I would act positive & then see if there was still any 'wriggle room' to staying on, or any other openings with same company where you could slot in if they say they are terminating you.

No need to look desperate or beg, but you could say something like "Oh that's a shame as I REALLY LIKED WORKING HERE & thought I was doing a good job, but I am sure I will find something else if you are not able to keep me on ..." sort of thing. (Keeping it serious, but light. And keeping ur dignity.) Then have a cry privately in the loo later if u really have to.

Remember to ask for reference from them, with which to move on to better things!

Everyone goes thru bad patches in their career, & many have to work with redundancy threats hanging over them. You just have to stay calm, tough it out & keep going. And things will eventually get back on track if u refuse to be put down.

Listen to any (good) advice offered re what you are doing wrong or not doing right and/or why they think you didnt fit in. While rejecting any unfair/mean criticism.

Often if's just bad luck/unfavourable circs/horrible colleagues or bosses & not your fault at all? So, I think have to develop a thick skin if u weren't born with one, for times like this.

Really hope they keep you on though, as you seem ike you want to stay there! (Let us know what happens?)

< disclaimer: I am a 'trailing', non-working spouse & havent worked myself for about 25yrs, so I might be talking rubbbish. But when younger, I did work for some yrs in a large multi-national. And then on some short contracts. But I feel for u OP! >

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 21/08/2013 13:53

Thanks RiceBurner, some good advice there.

OP posts:
springytoofs · 21/08/2013 14:09

sorry to hear you're having a bad time Gemma

It sounds like they're not prepared to pay the expense of giving you a proper contract. If the feedback has been universally good - nay 'awesome' - then it can't be because of you and your work. Sounds like the supposedly 'difficult' guy is keeping his employers happy, taking care of himself (which is what happens in the workplace ime: no-one is prepared to stick their neck out for another employee).

I only ever walked out of a job once and it was only a piddly job but I regret it to this day - not worth the immediate high of flicking a V lol. The comedown goes on forever, just not worth it. In my case, it didn't affect my future employment but it would in your case.

You could also try skype counselling - research counsellors in blighty (or wherever) and see what they offer. Are you getting treatment from your doctor btw?

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 21/08/2013 14:14

Thanks. No, my health insurance does not cover things like that.

OP posts:
springytoofs · 21/08/2013 15:59

Could you pay for it yourself? You can get counselling at various prices (you don't necessarily get what you pay for iyswim) - and counsellors usually offer a sliding scale of fees. I got skype counselling for free once - someone in the states. I don't have the details but you could ferrett around.

yy, with all the time you have on your hands! (NOT) I hope you find something Gemma and I hope things ease for you soon. It's a cliche but 'this too shall pass'. Shit time always do.