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Original poster

To get up and walk out of my job, like, right now?

106 replies

GemmaPomPom · 21/08/2013 08:15

A bit of background... I work overseas for a huge international company. I have been here 6 months. Soon after I started, I was assigned to work with a guy who is seen as the most difficult person in the company. We seemed to get on really well, and he told me I was doing an "awesome" job. However, at my 3 month probation review, my manager (someone else) told me that I would be kept on probation for a further 3 months asm although my boss was happy, there were some issues between me and a couple of the people in the office. There were, but they blew over pretty quickly. My 6 month probation is up now. However, this manager said that they were not sure if they were keeping me on, as my partner was "on the fence" as to whether to keep me or not, as he had been 3 months ago. I was shocked at this, as I thought I was doing really well, and he certainly hadn't given me any reason to think otherwise. Certainly nothing like this was mentioned at my 3 month review.

So, my boss is coming in on Friday to "talk about it". The vibe I get is that he doesn't want to keep me on. He told me that if my boss did not want me, they would get rid of me. I do not want "sacked" or even worse "let go" on my CV. There are very few jobs here and I am scared I will not get another and I have a family to support.

So, should I just pre-empt it by leaving of my own accord? Like, now? Just handing my laptop and Blackberry to IT and leaving? Would that be unreasonable, in the circumstances?

Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 22/08/2013 11:13

So I still don't know anything. My manager and my boss had a meeting this morning, but they haven't told me anything. Boss was his usual self, nothing different. Quite friendly, as he usually is when I haven't seen him for a while.

So, are they waiting until the end of the day to fire me, do you think? Surely if they were keeping me, my manager would have said so by now?

OP posts:
Mumsyblouse · 22/08/2013 11:22

Gemma, keep calm, you don't know what's going to happen yet. Don't resign, just see what happens as the next two days unfold. You will know by the weekend and you can then take a mature decision over it.

I think your PND is driving your anxiety (plus I do know that thinking you are going to be made redundant/lose your job is incredibly stressful). I think you need help/treatment for this- I'm not sure in your country where you need to turn for this, but as others said, online counselling/phone counselling may be better than nothing. Have you got a good friend you could call?

I just feel for you, you are a long way from home with a little child, working and it's very stressful- do get some RL support.

And- see what they say before panicking.

bibliomania · 22/08/2013 11:36

Agree - stay on top of your anxiety. Sorry for cliches, but you can cross that bridge when you come to it. There's no point in running backwards and forwards over the bridge in anticipation.

You'll deal with whatever happens.

RiceBurner · 22/08/2013 11:44

OP, it's not over till it's over, so please keep calm and carry on until someone tells you otherwise?

If you DO end up being hired, you will have worried so much for nothing, so try not to anticipate the worst outcome? Take some deep breaths, get engrossed in your work & leave it up to fate now.

Tell yourself to keep working to the end of the day with a smile ... and stop any negative thoughts/worries, as it's so draining & you might have to go through all this again 2moro? (Nb Some ppl have this sort of worry for weeks/months, so they have to find a way to block it out of their thoughts, or they'd just go mad.)

If they let u go 2day, (or 2moro, or another day), it's could be merely due to budget limitations. (So nothing you can do about that.)

But what if they had a chat about u this morning, decided that they really would like to keep you on, in spite of budget probs, so they are now looking for ways to fund/keep you? There's still hope that they want u to stay and it will happen. So remain positive to the bitter end!

Good luck! (Keep posting!)

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 22/08/2013 13:20

It's nothing about budgetting, they would have to replace me.

OP posts:
RiceBurner · 22/08/2013 15:40

OK then, sorry OP for going down a false trail there. But it seems that u r still there for now? So hang on in!

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 23/08/2013 01:14

OK, so things took an interesting turn. My boss (Boss 1) was in today and all day I was hassling my manager for a decision. He kept saying that my boss had not decided to keep me or not. So, in the end, I went in and said to my boss, "I need a decision. Do you want to keep me or not?". He looked at me like I was mad and told me that the decision was not his.

He then explained that his feedback was only part of all the feedback from all the people who I work with, and that on the basis of all of that, a decision would be made by a committee whether to keep me or not. He said he, personally, wanted to keep me and gave me excellent feedback.

However, I have been working for another guy at the same time (Boss 2) and it hasn't really worked out with him. My manager told me that it did not matter, as they would pair me with someone else if Boss 1 was happy. Boss 1 is much more senior than Boss 2, so his feedback is more heavily weighted.

My manager then had to sit down in front of me and Boss 1 and apologise for misleading me on this.

Boss 1 then spent his entire afternoon trying to sort things out. He was only here today (he has flown 16 hours to get here) so it was good of him to then cancel his meetings for me. He said he wanted them to make the best decision, but ultimately if I was fired, he wanted to ensure that I got all I was entitled to. He said I should contact everyone I had worked with to get feedback from them. I told him I was surprised by how passive he was being in the process since he wanted to keep me, he said that he was passive because he is a very process-driven guy and needed to keep to the rules.

So basically, they will make a decision on Monday. It is not looking good.

Thanks for listening.

OP posts:
springytoffs · 23/08/2013 01:43

woh! what a headfuck tbf Confused

Call me out of work behind the times, but this is something else, isn't it?

ok, I get that it's a 'co-operative', in that decisions are made collectively, not by the head honcho. That's a good system imo. I can't see how you think Boss 1 is being 'passive' (bit of a loaded word, no?) when he's pulled out all the stops to work things out for you... but I get what you mean.

I'm amazed they can mess you around like this tbh. I suppose it's not much point me asking if you really want to work with people like this. I guess that isn't the point, sorry. Is your manager and Boss 2 one and the same btw?

I'm sorry they're stretching you on the rack. I hope you have a decent weekend somehow (())

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 23/08/2013 01:59

Thanks springytoffs, I didn't think I'd get any replies given the time!

No, my manager and Boss 2 are different people. My manager told me that he thinks I should stay because I am a "good person and a good worker", but that it was up to Boss 1... I now know that isn't true.

It's a huge global company and they are known for doing things differently.

OP posts:
Monty27 · 23/08/2013 02:21

Stay. There's a back story you don't know about probably. Good luck. :) Let us know. x

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 23/08/2013 02:22

There's a back story you don't know about probably.

Like what? What do you mean?

OP posts:
Monty27 · 23/08/2013 02:26

Sorry Gemma where I work there's always politicking (?)

Just stay, do your best and if the worst comes to the worst confront it. It doesn't sound right. They might be trying to get rid of him, not you.

Don't be afraid of coming forward in a very diplomatic professional way about the ways you have dealt with difficult situations.

I hope that makes sense. Because it certainly doesn't make sense to me that they put you where they are with a difficult person.

Stay confident.

Monty27 · 23/08/2013 02:28

Maybe your colleagues got more annoyed than you think and you didn't react the way you should have?

Oh I'm just surmising.

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 23/08/2013 02:29

Thanks Monty27. My fear is that if they do get rid of me, I might not get another job. I have been looking since I joined, and I have only had one interview in 6 months. I need to maximise my chances of getting another job and I don't think being 'let go' will help me.

Far better to resign, non?

OP posts:
Monty27 · 23/08/2013 02:39

Hmm I would say that's it's far better to hold on to what you have tbh. You haven't said and I don't expect you to put here why there were problems with colleagues, 'which blew over'.

Employers have weird ways of doing things. Maybe they thought you'd take the difficult person on. Maybe they thought to put you with him so you'd leave but my gut says they wanted to use you to get rid of him.

Don't walk. And if they are trying to out you for some weird reason, although I don't think that's the case, make it difficult for them to do so, and don't take it sitting down, ask for evidence and give evidence of how hard you've worked and how you love working there.

What country are you in? No need to answer if you don't want to.

PasswordProtected · 23/08/2013 02:42

What exactly do you do? And what were the issues with colleagues, tgat you mentioned earlier in the thread?

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 23/08/2013 02:50

The issues were minor. I got upset with the Benefits lady as she kept forgetting to send my my health insurance details. After 6 weeks of asking, I sent a letter to the Head of Administration asking for help.

I also had a minor disagreement with someone in the Finance department, again after waiting for them to give me some information I had waited weeks for, that would take them 30 seconds to send, and I couldn't do my job without it.

That's it.

OP posts:
Monty27 · 23/08/2013 02:54

Not good hr then? They never are, and they don't like to be found out either.

Write it all down. Be prepared. But I still think it may not be about you, you may have uncovered incompetence to the big bosses. Good luck.

I've got to go to bed now but keep us updated.

You still have said what country, what industry etc.

Monty27 · 23/08/2013 02:55

*haven't

Original poster
GemmaPomPom · 23/08/2013 02:56

I don't want to out myself, sorry.

OP posts:
ZillionChocolate · 23/08/2013 07:04

If you have time this weekend, please look into your options for counselling.

Feminine · 23/08/2013 07:47

I believe there is much more to this situation...

Yes, I asked you a while back, where are you? :)

carabos · 23/08/2013 07:56

You said up thread that all day you were hassling your manager for a decision. You then seem to have hassled one of these many bosses. Then you moaned about and challenged the process.

Despite all the advice to the contrary from posters to remain in your job and see what happens, and that in the event of being let go, a 6 month contract is easy to explain away, you are still keen to walk out.

It seems to me that you don't really want this job at all. Take the advice that has been given, by people here and at work, gather the feedback, grow a pair and see how it plays out.

MrsCampbellBlack · 23/08/2013 08:03

I wonder reading this thread if it would be good to sit down with your manager and get some proper feedback on how you're perceived at work.

You have said that you've had a few disagreements and hassled people and I just wonder if you perhaps need to work a bit on how to handle colleagues effectively.

Fingers crossed it works out for you.

Icelollycraving · 23/08/2013 08:07

Whilst I completely sympathise that you need a decision,I would find your actions irritating. Hounding people to make a decision is unlikely to see you in a favourable light.

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