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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why MIL has bought a white dress to wear to my wedding?

96 replies

Piccolobo · 20/08/2013 17:30

That's all. Any insights? I think it's very odd.

OP posts:
Souredstones · 20/08/2013 17:31

Is she accessorising to the hilt in the colour of the day? If not then I can only think its an attention thing

Jovellanos · 20/08/2013 17:31

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Do you get on well with your MIL?

BlehPukeVomit · 20/08/2013 17:35

It wouldn't bother me at all unless I knew it was done to piss me off.
Lots of people look lovely in white and as long as it doesn't look like an actual wedding dress then I wouldn't care at all.

mervynmouse · 20/08/2013 17:35

Very odd. But then there was a thread recently where a mil had bought an actual wedding dress and head piece just like the bride's so she's not alone!

What has she said about her choice?

squoosh · 20/08/2013 17:37

Have you seen the dress? Does it look quite bridally?

I was at a wedding this year where a guest wore a full length, very pale cream evening gown. I though it was very odd.

Piccolobo · 20/08/2013 17:38

No keeping accessories white. We get on yes though we don't see an awful lot of each other.

OP posts:
Dackyduddles · 20/08/2013 17:39

Miss haversham?

Offing u at the altar on Oedipus fashion?

Didactylos · 20/08/2013 17:40

so get yourself a scarlet bridal gown

two can play at that game....

Piccolobo · 20/08/2013 17:40

No she hasn't said why. Just that she loves the dress. She looks great in white but there are lots of other colours she looks great in.

OP posts:
Piccolobo · 20/08/2013 17:41

A bit late for the scarlet! My dress is hanging in my wardrobe!

OP posts:
PrincessFlirtyPants · 20/08/2013 17:42

I had a friend say she was going to buy a white dress to wear Hmm I told her I'd prefer she didn't and she was fine about it. Could ou do the same with MIL?

theoriginalandbestrookie · 20/08/2013 17:43

Very passive aggressive. Is she ok generally? Have you seen the dress - it might be totally non bridey?

People will think she is a bit weird, there was a lady dressed in a white lace dress at a friends wedding with a fur cape thing. Spoke to my friend a few months later, turns out it is her sister who is in a snit about something and the dress is a statement.

OctopusPete8 · 20/08/2013 17:44

I would have said something tbh.

maybe not to her but DH,

very strange.

NotAnotherPackedLunch · 20/08/2013 17:45

Are you sure she's not planning to stand up half way through and start singing "It should have been meeee"?

wickeddevil · 20/08/2013 17:47

Well at least its not black. my DM (who was not thrilled about me getting married) wore a very dark green suit. A suit she later wore for DFs funeral.

I think I have heard of this before. Bit of an old fashioned idea, but not un common for mother of bride and mother of grom to wear white in some families apparently.

Piccolobo · 20/08/2013 17:48

I have noticed she gets a little grumpy when she's not getting enough attention. The dress is lace but not bridal and not long.

She has already bought the dress and it wasn't cheap. Too late to say something?

I don't know if I really mind that much but I wonder why she didn't just go for another colour. I have never seen her wear white to a special occasion before.

OP posts:
eurochick · 20/08/2013 17:50

My step-MIL wore a cream dress to my wedding. She mentioned it beforehand and I wasn't bothered. I have to say though it does look a bit odd in the photos as she really stands out so there are two women in cream in the front row. My mum was also a bit sniffy about it.

Silverfoxballs · 20/08/2013 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squoosh · 20/08/2013 17:51

I love this picture of Raquel Welch at her son's wedding. Her DIL's face speaks a thousand words!

Grin
Steben · 20/08/2013 17:52

I would mind - I think it is the height of rudeness to wear anything remotely bridal to a wedding. My own mil bought a ivory hat with a fucking veil and said - I hope it doesn't make me look like a 59 year old bride - I said so do I and after much huffing and puffing she swapped it.

MrsEricBana · 20/08/2013 17:52

Nope I agree with you, not OK. Both my MIL and SIL (who was my bridesmaid) wore wedding dress type dresses to my wedding and I do look like bride between two brides in some of the photos. Not OK at all.

OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 20/08/2013 17:52

Have you got any sort of pre-wedding event (like the American rehearsal dinner)?

Can you buy exactly the same dress, and wear it at that? Grin

YourHandInMyHand · 20/08/2013 17:53

Does she not realise people at the wedding will be snickering about her behind her back for wearing white to her son and DIL's wedding?!?

Montybojangles · 20/08/2013 17:55

Maybe ask your DF to request she wear something else, as he wants you to be the focus in the photos?

It's ok if it's white and another colour (maybe a jacket or scarf in a nice bright colour with coloured accessories), but all white or cream is a bit off IMO.

YourHandInMyHand · 20/08/2013 17:55

Can't you get your fiance on the phone to her, "Piccolobo says you have a white dress to wear to our wedding - surely not mother, people will think you are trying to make a statement of some kind, picc was too polite to say anything but it's just not the done thing really and we'd hate for people to be sniggering."

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