To wonder why MIL has bought a white dress to wear to my wedding?

[Piccolobo]

That's all. Any insights? I think it's very odd.

[pictish]

MrsKoala - bad luck on your friend. I did laugh though.

[mrsjay]

does she cry at the mention of you marrying her precious son

if itisnt a full on lacy white dress then I wouldn't worry, about it

[Backtobedlam]

Hey, at least she's putting some thought into it, my mil told me she didn't really like her outfit, but she saw it in the shop and thought 'that'll do'. Think us getting married was a bit of a non-event!

[Inertia]

Perhaps you should tackle it with DH and explain that you'll need to position her at the back for the wedding photos as it'll look really odd to have the bride and a guest both in white .

[parakeet]

But how does it matter or affect you in any way? Really?

Do you think people will think she looks prettier than you on the day? Do you think people who don't know you very well will think she is the bride? Do you think the vicar/registrar will make a mistake and marry her to your intended (her son!) before anyone realises?

I say this as someone who's MIL also wore white on our wedding day (well, she said it was cream, but I couldn't tell the difference), and I seriously, couldn't have given two hoots.

[dipitydoyou]

My MIL wore white to our wedding too.

When she rang to tell me she had finally found an outfit she said it was a white knee length dress and matching overcoat, BUT not to worry as it had black detail.

The black detail turned out to be really tiny black stones in the cente of the buttons! She topped it off with white shoes, a white feathered hat and a white handbag

Always thought it was a bit odd. She still describes that outfit as black and white even now!!

[greenbananas]

I didn't know it was bad form to wear white to a wedding until I started browsing mumsnet. Maybe your mil didn't know either.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Not worth upsetting someone you will have to deal with for decades yet. At the end of the (wedding) day, you will be married to the man you want to be married to, and that's what counts.

[Reality]

My sister's MIL wore a strapless, tits out, legs out minidress to their (very naice) wedding. Claaaasssy.

[Justforlaughs]

Hmmm, a glass of red wine down the front of it just before the wedding should do the trick nicely!
If it bothers you, is there anyone who can be set up to ask "oh, have you got your outfit sorted out yet?" "white?? you are joking, right, no-one wears white to a wedding"
or someone who can surreptitiously pin a "not a virgin though" notice t her back, as she walks into the service!

[TwelveLeggedWalk]

my MIL wore a cream suit to our wedding.

I don't give two hoots about formal 'rules', and genuinely wouldn't have cared if half the guests turned up in legwarmers and tutus actually that would be kind of cool but she does worry about this sort of thing, which made it all the wierder

[StuntGirl]

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, and I wouldn't notice/care if I was a guest either.

Imagine how your husband to be must feel, ALL the blokes will look like him

[RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie]

Yabu. It really doesn't/shouldn't matter.

[DontmindifIdo]

My suggestion would get DP to call her, say that while you aren't upset and don't really mind her wearing white, you are worried that your family will think that she's trying to upstage the bride. You both know she's not doing that, but that's how it's going to look to your family. He can lay it on a bit thick, that his new in-laws are the sort to take wedding ettiquette really seriously, they will be offended on your behalf and you're both really worried about a scene if someone from your side says something. Get him to present it as him worrying about offending his new in-laws, her helping him out, that she'd hate to be the cause of her DS to have problems with his ILs...

[AnneEyhtMeyer]

I waitressed at a very small wedding in a pub where the bride wore a white cocktail dress, nothing elaborate, very suitable for the wedding.

One of the guests wore a white ballerina-length 50s-style dress with big sticky-out underskirts, white fascinator, white shoes and white small drawstring bag. She was a laughing stock.

[myroomisatip]

Sorry, have not read the whole thread, but... could you just suggest that 'white' is not the most flattering colour for an older woman? Or words to that effect. It is true, as I understand it, cream is much more flattering.

I am prepared to be corrected if I am technically wrong but still, worth suggesting :)

[ceres]

I don't get the problem. unless she turns up in a wedding dress clutching a bouquet then nobody is going to mistake her for the bride.

[Deemail]

Unless some one turned up in a wedding dress in wouldn't care.

[2rebecca]

I think it's thoughtless and inappropriate. I would phone and tell her I'd heard she was planning to wear white and was it true as I'd rather she wore a different colour rather than the traditional bridal colour. I didn't wear white to either of my weddings but wouldn't have been impressed if my mum or MIL had turned up in white. If a friend it's OK but not if they're in all the photos. It's just thoughtless, other people will think it's bad manners and selfish of her as well.

[Piccolobo]

My main worry now is the photos. Will she have to be strategically placed as we will be blend in if we are side by side!

I'm worried other guests are going to gossip about it too. It's occurred to me the dress is very similar to my bridesmaids dresses. Will she look like a bridesmaid or does that make her look less odd?

[firesidechat]

White lace? Hmm.

I probably wouldn't worry about it. If it looks even slightly bridal then it's her that is going to look the complete fool, not you.

[JeanPaget]

I'd be if the bride's MIL turned up in a white lace dress to a wedding.

I think you'd be well within in your rights to be angry, or at least want to know what point she thought she was making. But regardless of how you actually feel, I do think people will gossip about her.

I think getting you DH to question her about it is a good approach, even if he does it slightly jokingly is a good idea. I think YourHandInMind phrased that conversation well, upthread.

[JeanPaget]

Oh and I agree with firesidechat, it's her that's going to look very odd (and attention seeking!), not you.

[hackmum]

I thought it was an iron law that wedding guests shouldn't wear the same colour as the bride? I haven't been to a wedding in yonks but I'd have thought someone of the MIL's generation (assuming 50+) would know the rules about this sort of thing.