To wonder why MIL has bought a white dress to wear to my wedding?

[Piccolobo]

That's all. Any insights? I think it's very odd.

[AcaciaRoad]

Oh I see! That sounds like great fun, what a nice idea :)

[confuddledDOTcom]

I'm not but there was a reason it wasn't "fancy dress" as my uncle turned up in but it was period. We had a dresser come, like you get in films and dressed the guests, the most beautiful clothes, expensive fabrics, leather, metal etc, the togs/ vogs split their time between me and the guests during preparations and you can see the guests had great fun. It wasn't compulsory but a few who didn't regretted it. People still tell me how much fun they had and the photos still do the rounds as profile pictures.

Anyway, I agree with the others, be really nice about it, show concern for her about what people will think of her

[AcaciaRoad]

confuddledDOTcom you are joking - surely?!

[timidviper]

My MIL wore a white dress with tiny navy spots that were so small the dress looked white on the photos. It didn't bother me at the time, although if I'd known then everything I know now I might have chosen to take offense!

[FryOneFatManic]

I guess that's they key thing. If you just ignore it and be all gracious people will definitely look at your MIL and wonder why the white.....

[AKissIsNotAContract]

Some MILs are odd. Mine wants to do a first dance with her son.

[pennefab]

YANBU to wonder why. It is a bit odd. But remember, the day is about celebrating your marriage to your DF. The rest is just that ... the rest. It really doesn't matter in the greater scheme of things. I'd just shake my head and think, "how odd." And get on with having fun and enjoying the day.

If you're dying to know why, ask. But don't be bridezilla about it (you sound very opposite bridezilla and very level headed) and start a feud. At the end of the day, if people comment, it will be about how gracious you were about it and what a lovely relationship you are building with your MIL.

[foreverondiet]

My MIL did the same. After I told my DM I didn't want her to wear white.

[FryOneFatManic]

Shame you've already got your dress.

I rather like this website, and plan on getting a tea length dress from there if DP and I ever get married.

Perhaps a pale lilac with a brightly coloured sash and petticoats.......

[RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie]

Hang on. Am confused. You provided clothes for your guests, as in, 'here. Wear this.' ??? Why on earth?

[confuddledDOTcom]

I solved the problem by wearing burgundy and having clothes made for our parents and provided for the rest of the guests. Apart from my uncle and his wife decided to come in fancy dress (I have no pictures of the groomsmen without him!) and she wore burgundy, but it was fancy dress so they just looked silly.

[MarysDressSways]

Someone should mention to her that it's not really the done thing in a casual type way. She can either take it back or keep it for another occasion..

I'm so grateful my MIL is lovely and sensible!

[kennyp]

My divine mil wore a cream suit to our wedding. Then she drank champagne directly from the bottle and told everyone how upset she was that she had lost her "baby". The baby being her son, my dh. Who was 28.

Happy days.

[ILetHimKeep20Quid]

Very odd.

[puffinnuffin]

My MIL did this at my wedding. Yes it annoyed me.

She also went on my BILS's honeymoon with her elderly sister!

[Pinupgirl]

My mil wore a cream suit to my wedding.I hadn't given it another thought but actually now I wonder if it was a statement as I wouldn't tell her the colour of my dress-which was pink btw!

Either way she had a face like fizz in all the photos and made it abundantly clear on the day that she didn't like my dress. I didn't give two hoots!

[AcaciaRoad]

Seriously? So many of you think this is a problem? If the MIL is trying to upstage the bride then that's weird, but quite obviously her issue not the brides IMO. Just ignore! Or, if she's innocently wearing white with no ulterior motives, then it's just a colour!

Why would it matter that it looks like there are two brides in some pictures? It would be a little strange, yes, but it tells a story. It may well be a bit batty on behalf of your MIL (if she does have ulterior motives) but in my opinion that doesn't "ruin" any photos, it adds a story to them. Do you not think you'll be able to smile about it in the future?

Back in the (very) old days you would have had loads of your friends dressed exactly the same as you anyway. From wikipedia:

"The Western bridesmaid tradition is thought to have originated from Roman Law, which required ten witnesses at a wedding in order to outsmart evil spirits (believed to attend marriage ceremonies) by dressing in identical clothing to the bride and groom, so that the evil spirits would not know who was getting married.

Even as late as 19th century England, there was a belief that ill-wishers could administer curses and taint the wedding. In Victorian wedding photographs, for example, the bride and groom are frequently dressed in the same fashion as other members of the bridal party."

[holycowwhatnow]

My three SILs wore cream suits to my wedding - my dress was also cream and MIL made it so they knew this. Can't say it bothered me though. I never noticed it until friends pointed it out to me after the wedding.

[BirdFromDaNorf]

My MIL wore a cream suit to the wedding. I swear, in the photos, and there's plenty of her with her arm linked to my DH, she looks like she's marrying him. She has her arm linked in with my DH and not with her own DH. Gotta love em.

Let her get on with it. Will give all the guests something to bitch about on the day.

And the other one I liked, was her saying that on the day of the wedding she wanted there to be a photo of her, my DH, her DH and her DD as a four - not with me in it, she wanted proper family. I LOVED THAT ONE :))

[HoneyDragon]

*If its similar...

[HoneyDragon]

If its I liar to the bridesmaid dresses I think that's less odd. It will look as if she is trying to coordinate with the wedding party. If she wears a corsage similar to the grooms party with it, it might be quite nice.

[hackmum]

I thought it was an iron law that wedding guests shouldn't wear the same colour as the bride? I haven't been to a wedding in yonks but I'd have thought someone of the MIL's generation (assuming 50+) would know the rules about this sort of thing.

[JeanPaget]

Oh and I agree with firesidechat, it's her that's going to look very odd (and attention seeking!), not you.

[JeanPaget]

I'd be if the bride's MIL turned up in a white lace dress to a wedding.

I think you'd be well within in your rights to be angry, or at least want to know what point she thought she was making. But regardless of how you actually feel, I do think people will gossip about her.

I think getting you DH to question her about it is a good approach, even if he does it slightly jokingly is a good idea. I think YourHandInMind phrased that conversation well, upthread.

[firesidechat]

White lace? Hmm.

I probably wouldn't worry about it. If it looks even slightly bridal then it's her that is going to look the complete fool, not you.