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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you leave your baby unattended in their buggy

999 replies

noblegiraffe · 20/08/2013 13:17

...while you use the loo?

On another thread I mentioned not being able to get a buggy into a small cubicle and the suggestion was to leave baby outside.

Would I be overly precious in thinking 'No, I wouldn't do that'?

OP posts:
olidusUrsus · 21/08/2013 14:38

The disabled toilets issue was brought up originally by those who use them without the need for changing facilities, because they were worried about the items from their pram being stolen (not necessarily because they were worried about their baby being abducted). Okay, sure. My OH soiling himself is my issue. It doesn't affect you, so you don't care. I get it.

K8Middleton · 21/08/2013 15:14

Where have I said any of that nobel?

I find your points irrelevant to anything I have actually posted and rather hysterical.

I have said the fact it wasn't an attempted abduction or that the child was unattended do not really make any difference and only someone trying to goading for a fight or a bit dim would suggest that it would be any kind of comfort to the parent and child involved. Surely that goes without saying?

The point was you were asked for an example of a child being abducted from a toilet while unattended. You haven't managed to provide one although you did originally claim to have done so.

CoteDAzur · 21/08/2013 15:15

"higher risk of catching something deadly from the germs in a public toilet "

Higher probability you mean.

No, I can't think of any such disease you would catch in the toilets of a developed Western country, especially if you wash your hands afterwards.

Anyway, there are treatments for diseases. There isn't any for a lost child.

DropYourSword · 21/08/2013 15:20

K8 sounds like your are spoiling for a fight. I've read this entire thread and I think you are being really unreasonable to nobelgiraffe. She never claimed she had an example of a child being abducted from a toilet. You are deliberately misquoting her. And you did write a post imolying that the news link she provided about sometimes child being taken from a shopping trolley was irrelevant and women have absolutely no cause for being the least bit concerned about having their child abducted. I find you more of a Kate Hopkins than a Kate Middleton!

CoteDAzur · 21/08/2013 15:22

"My OH soiling himself is my issue"

I do sympathise. Your OH being male, I doubt our paths would or could have ever crossed at any toilet.

Similarly, I could say "Losing my child and never seeing him again, forever wondering what a terrible end he has met, all because mummy was too PC to go with him into the disabled toilet" is my issue. It doesn't affect you, so you don't care. I get it.

The fact is that disabled toilets are not exclusively for disabled people when nappy changing facilities are in them. And so you cannot berate mums with babies for using them.

MrsDeVere · 21/08/2013 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoteDAzur · 21/08/2013 15:27

Err... If you find anything wrong with what I have said in the last couple of posts, answer those.

If not, do please can the passive-aggressive "It never ceases to amaze me...".

olidusUrsus · 21/08/2013 15:29

Cote I have never been to a disabled toilet that isn't unisex.

The disabled toilets issue was brought up originally by those who use them without the need for changing facilities, because they were worried about the items from their pram being stolen (not necessarily because they were worried about their baby being abducted).

If you have a baby who needs changing and you take them into a disabled toilet that has a changing facility, that is fine. No one is upset with parents who do this. It's a stupid mistake on behalf of planning, but it's not the fault of the parents who need to use the facilities.

The probability of a child being abducted while it's mother urinates in a public toilet within sight or sound of the child is minute. The probability of my OH soiling himself because a parent has decided to use the disabled toilet so they can fit their pram in the cubicle is much higher.

Libertine73 · 21/08/2013 15:31

Taking your child in with you to sit on your knee could only work if you had your jeans/knickers down already! Or you sit them inside on the filthy floor while you get them down. I've always managed to bag either a buggy loo, or end one where I have door open!

K8Middleton · 21/08/2013 15:32

Don't forget their armfuls of shopping olidus. Poor buggers. Imagine having money and time to go round the shops at their lesiure, amassing so many bags that the ordinary toilets are inaccessible and they are forced to use the disabled?

My heart bleeds.

Thurlow · 21/08/2013 15:39

I know, libertine. I actually can't work out how I would get my jeans undone, pulled down, pulled up and done up again with one hand Confused

We're obviously just uncoordinated. Can't change a baby on my lap either...

K8Middleton · 21/08/2013 15:40

Really Dropyoursword? How eloquent you are with your witty Katie Hopkins comment Hmm I note you haven't actually been able to construct an argument but surely you are above name calling?

Emilythornesbff · 21/08/2013 15:42

It was only a matter of time ilovemyself

Wink
ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 21/08/2013 15:43

Probably not as challenging as trying to get your wheelchair into a cubicle and then get out of said wheelchair to use a normal toilet.

MrsDeVere · 21/08/2013 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovemyself · 21/08/2013 15:48

Olidusursus. What happens if there is another disabled person using the toilet. I am not trying to be funny- my point is a minute or so for one person is one thing. If there were a queue of people waiting to use the changing facilities I would expect them to allow your partner in ahead of them.

olidusUrsus · 21/08/2013 15:52

Ilovemyself I was waiting for someone to ask that. It's just something you have to expect and accept when usually only one disabled loo is provided. Nothing you can do about it really, they're in the same boat: disabled and needing the toilet. No issue, no problem.

K8Middleton · 21/08/2013 15:54

Oh and that may be what you inferred Drop (possibly because you are determined to see anyone who disagrees with you on the disabled loo point as wrong about everything? A rather simplistic view and not one I have found to be typical of other people)but was certainly not implied.

You are however right that Nobel did not claim to have found an abduction from a toilet. My apologies. I'm only dipping in and out to see what new outrageous statements are posted so i made a small mistake. The other points are valid though. Nobel (like everyone else) couldn't find an example of a toilet abduction. It still wasn't an abduction. It was a hostage situation by a very disturbed individual which nobody could have prevented any more than any other attack by someone they could not possibly know would be more likely to attack than any random person on the street.

curlew · 21/08/2013 15:57

"Curlew. That's fine if you are happy with leaving your child with a sstranger but I am not. Abduction isn't the only concern"

Enlighten me?

Thurlow · 21/08/2013 16:06

Of course not, Hopalong, if that was aimed at me/Libertine talking about undoing our trousers. But I'll only use an accessible loo if it is deliberately marked as accessible, I'm firmly in the park in the open cubicle door/ask people in queue to mind the baby camp.

Ilovemyself · 21/08/2013 16:07

Curlew. Damage to the buggy. Theft of or from the buggy. If you leave your child in the buggy then other children poking and prodding. Those that are happy to coo and crow over your nanny and stick their dirty fingers on your child. These are just a few.

People keep harping on about abdication, is a possibility no matter how small but those are other things are more likely.

Ilovemyself · 21/08/2013 16:10

Thank you olidus. I guess I am just lucky that I have never had the issue of causing someone pain or discomfort because of my using the loo.

I am not discounting it in any way. I just have never seen it and my disabled family members are not aware of it being am issue is this area.

Emilythornesbff · 21/08/2013 16:13

This debate will never have any conclusion.
It is not possible for some people to exercise any moderation on the matter.
If you use an accessible loo for any reason without having a MN sanctioned disability you are wrong. And selfish and precious.
No matter what the circumstances.

I am quite comfortable with my level of consideration for other ppl.
I have never caused suffering to another person by my lavatory usage.
If I am using the shared facility to change my baby I will also use the loo. Otherwise I will use a regular cubicle and leave he door open.
I will not leave my child unattended and I sure as hell won't balance a wriggly 6 mo on my knee while pissing. Do fuck off.
And no. To whoever suggested it, there is not a significant risk of deadly germs from taking a child in the loo. Just so you know.

Risk is not just about likelihood, it's also about possible degree of harm.

morethanpotatoprints · 21/08/2013 16:18

No I never did, it only takes a minute and they are gone. My eldest is 22 and for each of my dc when they were smaller there were high profile kidnappings, murders, abductions etc. So was always conscious of it not being worth the risk.
Please don't leave a child for a minute, it is so worth the inconvenience to know they are safe.

Ilovemyself · 21/08/2013 16:20

Well said Emily.

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