AIBUs from parents of fictional children

[ProudAS]

AIBU to be concerned about what DCs are up to? Since we moved to Yorkshire they've been hanging around the railway line most days and not made friends with the local children.

DS came home with a bag of coal which he said was "mined" and whilst he looked like he'd been down a coal mine I suspect it was stolen.

And then there's the station porter who seems to be getting very friendly with them - he's a nice man by all accounts but I can't help feeling suspicious.

Probably but mine disappeared into a wardrobe earlier this week and not been seen since.

AIBU to let my daughter go walking miles with just a back pack and a monkey wearing boots?

She seems sensible and can read a map easily, its one of those singing ones.

Mine keep on about a sand fairy that grants them wishes. I'm going to the GP for a psych referral tomorrow

AIBU in believing it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife?

I have several daughters but the new neighbour is strangely shy.

AIBU to worry that my son disappears out the door at midnight every night?
When I ask him where he has been Tom says he was in the garden... but we don't have a garden?!

AIBU to think dd is taking drugs. She keeps disappearing and going on about rabbit holes and caterpillars.

I found a vial in her pocket marked big. Is that a new street drug?

WIBU when I named my child Titty? should we have called her Fanny instead?

AIBU or is DH? DC asked to go sailing and camping on their own. I don't think they're old enough, but DH just says 'if not duffers won't drown'. Should I put my foot down and say they can't go?

Mu children keep going on about things one and two and cats wearing hats. AIBU to thing there are drugs involved?

I have two ds's. AIBU to persistently favour the younger more perfect one? The older one is a really awful, horrid boy. We try not to make it obvious that we like the younger one best but it's not always easy.

AIBU to think that my DD is a poisonous trout?

Last night in the Rovers, she was winding up the barmaid who's recently been a surrogate mother for a local couple. She's consorting with the local convict and she is up to all sorts of illegal dealings.

There is backstory; she tried to sell her own DD for cash and she got jailed for killing her DP but she got acquitted but FWIW I am sure she did it.

Nobody on the street likes her except her boyfriend. I am getting really stressed out with it all and it's showing in my neck. AIBU?

AIBU to be really pissed off that DS gave away the lamp in the living room without asking me? He's bought a new one to replace it but it's really impractical and attracts dust like you wouldn't believe - he'd better give it a clean before putting it on the new sideboard..

I sometimes wonder if I'm too permissive. My daughter disappears every summer with her cousins and they get up to all kinds of adventures. My DH is quite high maintenance and hates them disturbing him so it's better they all go away. They have the dog with them at least.

WIBU to tell DD2 to stop whining about the bloody burned manuscript and just forgive DD4 already?? While we're at it, that boy from next door is starting to get on my nerves. Wish he wouldn't hang around here so much.

AIBU to pick up three baby girls on my travels and give them to my great niece to bring up? Women like babies don't they? She can always put them on the stage to earn their keep.

AIBU if I take the step kids into the forest, make sure they get lost and hope the local witch eats them?
TIA

AIBU to have gone, frankly, apeshit at my absolute waste of space son, who gave away our prize cow to some random stranger in return for some "magic beans"

Magic my arse.

AIBU to think that although my MIL is a total bitch Ds shouldn't have mixed up everything in the medicine cupboard and poisoned her. It was not, in fact, marvellous.

Beatrice, YANBU, but it would be a nice idea to turn up in about thirteen years time and maybe adopt one of them back again and do planes and stuff.

AIBU not to let my SDD go to the ball with my two lovely DDs? SDD has not been doing all of the her share of the house work lately and seems to spend all her time hanging out with a bunch of small mice who wear clothes - not sure what that is all about, but letting her go out would be rewarding bad behaviour, no?

I tuck my little DD into bed every night, proper routine, same time every night etc and she climbs out of the window and plays with wild animals from a local Zoo Should I lock the window or just ask what jabs she needs?

Dd1,12, refuses to acknowledge dd2, a much longed for younger sibling. In fact, her face closes up if dd2 is mentioned, and she has told her friends she has no little sister. We sent her to boarding school to sort this out, but now she has appendicitis: WIBU not to go and visit but to hope that one of her new friends has a father who can travel to Cornwall and do the operation?

AIBU to cannot bear my late sister's son.

I allowed him to come and live with us out of the goodness of our heart and he is an ungrateful wretch. He always looks messy, no matter how hard I try and make his hair lie down it always spikes back up.

I'm worried he's going to turn out like my sister and her husband and corrupt my darling little boy who is doing SO well at Smeltings.

to tell my DD that it is NOT a compliment to be mistaken for a boy and no her blardy dog does NOT have unerringly good character judgement?