AIBUs from parents of fictional children

[ProudAS]

AIBU to be concerned about what DCs are up to? Since we moved to Yorkshire they've been hanging around the railway line most days and not made friends with the local children.

DS came home with a bag of coal which he said was "mined" and whilst he looked like he'd been down a coal mine I suspect it was stolen.

And then there's the station porter who seems to be getting very friendly with them - he's a nice man by all accounts but I can't help feeling suspicious.

AIBU to worry about my darling niece? Her mum called me in a panic last night. Apparently a bloke has been shouting up her bedroom. He keeps insisting she let her golden hair down! Stalker? Or just hair admirer?

I have 2 DDs and the oldest one has just been picked for a super selective boarding school for those with special talents. My youngest DD hasn't got the same talents and won't be chosen when she's old enogh (I've found a letter in her room from the headmaster telling her as much after she'd secretly written to him). AIBU to let DD1 go when DD2 won't have the same opportunity?

Also I'm slight worried I'm not allowed to visit the school or know where it is I just have to drop DD at King's Cross. Btw do any of you know how to get to platform 9 3/4?

I am getting quite worried about my two, they have just come back from the countryside and my oldest keeps crying about a skull she threw out of a window which made a house burn down, should I take her to the GP?

AIBU to sell my DD's pig.

It is the runt of the litter, and I was going to get rid of it when it was born, but my DD got very upset about it and started crying so I said she could keep it. She has named the pig Wilbur and it is now five weeks old.

My relatives have offered to buy it off me for six dollars (not alot I know but more economical than continuing to feed it.)

AIBU to tell DS to take his bloody shoes and trousers off in bed? He's really testing my boundaries at the moment and no, I don't care if it's only one shoe. He's not the one who has to wash the bedding.

AIBU to be furious that someone has seen fit to assault DS? Stealing that pig was just a joke, he assures me, and they should have left it up to me to discipline my own child. I am livid. Maybe I should contact the Daily Fail about it.

AIBU to resent my DS2?

I just can't forgive him for the death of my beloved wife who died whilst in childbed with him. He also has a serious physical deformity and it's like he exists entirely to make a laughing stock of me. I can barely bring myself to look upon him. Should he be injured in battle, I would happily have him sent away to die.

Monkeys? Monkeys? No they bloody aren't. God I'm so sick of people saying that, just because we're a little bit hairier than some families, you're being very judgy, is your Dh a GP by any chance??

AIBU to be entirely and completely absent from my small (but very funny) children's lives? DS is very responsible and is brilliant at looking after DD. I have furnished our flat with crazy wallpaper and taught them some very extremely interesting use of superlatives. I have been known on occasion to take them to the library but that's about it.

Aibu to be worried about my stepson, his real father wants him to sacrifice himself and I'm not comfortable with this. Tbh I dont think he should have any say in what he does, he knocks up my new virgin wife then disappears for years, leaving me raising his son while he's doing god knows what.

AIBU to be absolutely furious that my son a) was forced to defeat dragons (health and safety- this is the one time it's useful!) and b) ends up murdered by an evil wizard (sorry, I can't say his name here, don't want to end up dead myself)? Or is this one of those 'improvements' made by Gove?

AIBU to be just a little concerned, DD has always been a little 'difficult', her only friend is a dog. She acts like a boy, looks like a boy and refuses to answer to her name preferring a shortened version which is a boys name... does she have gender issues or does she need the steading influence of her cousins or should we have her cousins to stay although DH is a scientist needing to concentrate on his work, it may cause even more problems as their mother says they are adventurous. Can the MN wisdom advise me please?

AIBU to whip my children and send them to bed? They are very naughty and I'm sure they have been willy waggling at next doors children. Honestly I have so many of them I just don't know what to do. Tonight I won't give them any bread with their broth. They should be grateful to have a shoe over their heads.

Blazin if you will buy him a Wolf suit little max will turn into a wild thing I'm afraid.

please help - my daughter has found a wild Arab stallion that only she can ride - AIBU to tell her she can't keep it and to call the RSPCA?

Um....ehem....errr........

Just a single "Da" here...... can I post, I mean I don't speak post like them ladies here.... but worried doesn't come bl**dy close (oh can't ah speak like ah want?)

My lad yunno, I've just found out he's hanging round that poncy "ballet" class with the girls. He's like a bl**dy great poofter.....and his mate is really odd...

How can I make him see that there is no future in it and it'll just make him a laughing stock down the pit when we finally get back to work?

Gordy my son has been ship wrecked with a black stallion only he can ride, maybe we should introduce them?

Aibu. Our lovely house burnt down and we have no money to replace it, my dh wants to return to farming. Urgh. As its what he knows. I'm not happy and whilst he's doing nothing to fix it, my dc are staying with their cousins on a farm!!! It's just not acceptable is it?

I'm becoming rather concerned about my DS's relationship with our dog. i know pets are supposed to be good companions for kids, but they spend more time together than is normal. DS has even taken to tying a handkerchief around the dog's neck and keeps going on about saving the planet and evil old Tony Blair lookalikes with smelly cats.

WIBU to seek help for DS to get him out of this fantasy world?

AIBU to be absolutely fekkin FURIOUS with DD(13)? The disobedient wretch is refusing to marry the VERY eligible young bachelor that the DW and I have set up for her. I mean, the family could really do with a nice wedding to cheer us all up after the murder of my nephew by that little Montague shit.

Honestly, the young baggage, she makes my fingers itch. Something tells me this won't end well...

AIBU? My daughter fell in love with her employer only to find out he was
already married and kept his wife in the attic! I think the wife had MH issues. Then the house burned down - very suspicious - and the wife died. Now DD wants to marry him. WWYD?

I'm at the end of my tether. I've got two daughters, I can't take my eye off the younger one for a second - she's cutting up material, wrecking the furniture, she calls Father Christmas names, she even threw her sister's doll out of the window. I was thinking of trying the naughty step, does anyone have any other tips?

It's alright for you lot- my bastard parents did not secure my notice board to the wall properly and it fell onto me during the night- I woke up feeling very flat indeed! Then my git of a brother tied some string to me and used me as a kite. I want to report them to SS but they are in the process of stuffing me in an envelope and sending me off in the post to stay with their friends. Presumably to hush me up! What utters pigs! You just wait! I am sooo going to eat raisins during a thunder storm and become invisible! Flat Stanley indeed!

WIBU to send my son to live on a remote desert planet with his aunt and uncle? I know there's a strange old man in a brown robe living there and he might start hanging out with my son and teaching him mystical powers that could save the universe, but at least my son will get really good at riding flying motorbikes!