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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report fraudulent benefit claimant

224 replies

racmun · 12/08/2013 22:22

So bil and SIL who have a 1 year old daughter have 'broken up'.

As a bit of background bil works but SIL is a SAHM. They were in private rented but it was costing too much so They broke up SIL and niece got housed and 4 days later they are back together and bil has moved in!

Apparently he stays at mil once a week as she is claiming benefits as a single mother (have no idea what difference this makes) and if the state finds out she'll lose her benefits. This is what mil has told us btw, I f

This has made me really furious and I'm inclined to report them for benefit fraud and let the authorities decide if they are doing anything illegal.

Or am I just being a bitch.

OP posts:
MissMarplesBloomers · 12/08/2013 22:25

They are in the wrong (if MIL has her facts straight) but might be difficult if they find out it was you who reported them.

No doubt someone will soon say its none of your business but I think its ALL of our business' as this sort of behaviour leads to benefit bashing of those who reall need it.

notmuchfun · 12/08/2013 22:25

the latter, I don't think anything good comes of being a grass

might be on my own there tho.

BrokenSunglasses · 12/08/2013 22:25

Of course you should report them if you have good reason to believe they are committing fraud. Why wouldn't you?

Wearyandworndown · 12/08/2013 22:27

And what would be your genuine motivation for reporting on the basis of hearsay?

He may be wanting to (quite legitimately) spend time with his daughter? They may be working through issues.

Why would you be 'furious'?

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2013 22:30

Or am I just being a bitch

That totally depends on your motivation doesn't it?

Do you get on well with them? Is there any past history? Grudges perhaps?

Or are you just worried about tax payer's money?

SaucyJack · 12/08/2013 22:32

How long has the alleged benefit fraud been going on?

If it's only been a month or so whilst they work out what they're doing, then I would keep my spiteful little nose out of it.

IneedAyoniNickname · 12/08/2013 22:38

Me and my ex were advised to do this by the council a few years back. They told us that if we didn't live together, and he didn't contribute financially to my household, then I was classed as a single mum and entitled to claim benefits as such.

AKissIsNotAContract · 12/08/2013 22:41

Mind your own business

morethanpotatoprints · 12/08/2013 22:42

I think this is a difficult one and I know I couldn't report it.
However, one or both of them are breaking the law, and its not fair to all the honest people out there who are struggling themselves.
The reason I couldn't report is if this is a time when the Gov are trying to make an example of people defrauding the state, believe me they will likely receive a custodial sentence.
My sister went to prison during a crackdown they had about 12 years ago and her bloody ex who had filled the tax credit forms in and lied got away with it. He told her to sign and she did, end of story.
Unless you want something like this on your conscience you can't report. I know it is unfair though. I had no sympathy for my sister as she should have checked the claim and not signed. Her xdh though was a twat letting her go down when it was him. She got a year and had to serve it all and she didn't even have as much as a point on licence or parking ticket prior to this. They had a new born prem baby at the time, just out of hospital

Famzilla · 12/08/2013 22:47

If I were you I'd leave it for maybe like 4-5 months? It seems to me like this is all still very fresh and they're working through things. If things couldn't work then I'm sure the last thing you want is for your little niece to suffer as her mum has all her benefits stopped pending investigation. Especially as so far it is all based on hearsay.

If, in the near future it becomes apparent that they are stealing and have no intention of stopping then yes, I would report them. It doesn't make me spiteful any more than it would make me spiteful to report someone stealing from tescos.

Joiningthegang · 12/08/2013 22:48

I think you need to stop, and think, why are you doing this?

What good could come of it?

What does your dh think?

Sounds like you are being a bit if a judgemental cow to me but maybe you have some higher reason to report your own family, who are probably struggling, to authorities and risk them being worse off or having a criminal conviction.

Original poster
racmun · 12/08/2013 23:06

Tbh I see it as stealing, it's a bit like when people steal from the big shops and claim there are no victims!!

It's been going on about 5 months so far. The thing is they never really broke up, it was all to play/fiddle the system so they are not 'working through issues'.

If I report them and they're not doing anything wrong then so what, but if they are and they found out then surely they is the right thing to do. I didn't realise they/she could go to prison though - that's puts a different slant on things....

OP posts:
Joiningthegang · 12/08/2013 23:10

Criminal record - what are the chances of working in the future

Incredible stress, less money in future, debt, suffering

What does your dh say?

If you are soooo concerned have you actually spoken to them about it

CorrineFoxworth · 12/08/2013 23:11

Well it does a bit, given that there is a year-old baby involved. Would you be willing to foster the child?

DragonsAreReal · 12/08/2013 23:13

Mind your own business, why would you do that sort of thing based on hearsay when your DNiece/nephews live there. Extremely spiteful.

DragonsAreReal · 12/08/2013 23:14

They can still be together but not live together ffs. If he stays at his mums regularly then he doesn't live there full time regardless of them being together or not.

Tortington · 12/08/2013 23:14

they could have been re-housed anyway - so that is a misnoma.

tbh i fucking hate a grass. like you're doing it for the higher moral ground, my fucking arse

IneedAsockamnesty · 12/08/2013 23:18

If he is staying elsewhere for 1 night a week it would make no difference as her house would normally be classed as his main residence (if certain criteria is filled) however you can have someone under the same roof as you and still not be living together as a couple,it very much depends on the nature of there relationship and how he uses the house.

Her being housed has nothing to do with anything as once she has been permanently housed she's entitled to have someone move in.

Solely on the info you have given it does sound like she is committing fraud but data matching will catch her out very quickly.however as you cannot possibly know the nature of the relationship and why he is there it is impossible to say for sure if she is or not.

Is perfectly acceptable to date and have sex if your on benefits its also considered ok for fathers to be at the house even overnight for access reasons providing they are maintaining a separate address and not using the claimants house for certain things or certain things are not being done by the claimant.

JakeBullet · 12/08/2013 23:18

"If I report them and they are not doing anything wrong"

With the above sentence you have said you don't really know all the facts. You "think" they are commiting fraudbut you are not sure..

Leave well alone or this could end up biting you on the bum.

CorrineFoxworth · 12/08/2013 23:18

Does BIL work and contribute to the household - more than he would have to contribute through the CSA? Because iirc csa payments are not counted for benefit purposes.

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2013 23:21

Do you get on really well with them OP?

98percentchocolate · 12/08/2013 23:22
Biscuit

Because I was taught that if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all.

kali110 · 12/08/2013 23:24

Unsure what i would do. I wouldn't like to get anyone into trouble especially family but if i knew for certain they were then maybe i would. It isn't fair on people who really do need benefits for them to be fiddling the system. Maybe you could speak to her.If she is advise her to state her change of circumstances.If you have suspicions then you may not be the only one . She may end up getting found out anyway and that will be even worse.

numbum · 12/08/2013 23:25

We have neighbours who did this. They moved from London to a nice area miles away. Then the dad joined them 6 months later. She openly admits they faked a split so they could move and get a coucil house here.

It makes me cross that it's so easy to play the system but I wouldnt report them because they're friends and did what they had to do to get their teenage sons away from a dodgy area of London

DragonsAreReal · 12/08/2013 23:27

There was a story on here the other day of a woman who's ex came round regularly to have his tea with the dc and bath and put them to bed before leaving. Because of this someone saw his car there every night on their way home from work and reported them for living together. Even though they were not she couldn't in no way prove he wasn't and had to stop her IS before criminal conviction.