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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report fraudulent benefit claimant

224 replies

racmun · 12/08/2013 22:22

So bil and SIL who have a 1 year old daughter have 'broken up'.

As a bit of background bil works but SIL is a SAHM. They were in private rented but it was costing too much so They broke up SIL and niece got housed and 4 days later they are back together and bil has moved in!

Apparently he stays at mil once a week as she is claiming benefits as a single mother (have no idea what difference this makes) and if the state finds out she'll lose her benefits. This is what mil has told us btw, I f

This has made me really furious and I'm inclined to report them for benefit fraud and let the authorities decide if they are doing anything illegal.

Or am I just being a bitch.

OP posts:
mignonette · 13/08/2013 11:06

Anyway I have had enough. You can't argue with stupid. And plenty of that on here with blinkered knee jerk 'report report' and let's not consider any upstream alternatives (that'd save all taxpayers a lot of money in the long run).

NotYoMomma · 13/08/2013 11:10

prosecute for a small amount and hasnt been going on very long?

no

and it usually results in the slap on the wrist going to the one claiming to be single - ie the mum

stop being utterly ott it is ridiculous - he will lose his job and be on benefits forever? pull the other one.

my friend got done for this (hadnt realised the rules re amounts of night staying over) and got a ticking off at best and shock they both kept working

Tapirbackrider · 13/08/2013 11:20

"I have no proof (apart from MIL's gossip) that family are defrauding the system, and I want to report them - AIBU?"

MN Yes YABU

"No I'm not - I have facebook (!?!) proof - and I'm going to do it anyway, damn the consequences".

Jolleigh · 13/08/2013 11:39

People on here have some seriously warped moral compasses.

The OP isn't the one committing the crime. The Sil and Bil know the risks of fraudulently claiming benefits. They are the ones who need to think of their childen and the job that Bil may stand to lose. If their benefits stop while they're investigated they still have that 25k job to feed their DC so people should really stop acting as if OP is depriving the child of something.

OP you're doing nothing wrong. The nay sayers here evidently have a few low level crimes of their own that they think they have every right to commit and nobody else has a right to report.

IneedAsockamnesty · 13/08/2013 11:41

Yomomma,

Your friend did not get done for it because she didnt know the rules on amount of nights spent over. Because there are no rules about what is an acceptable amount of nights.

Its perfectly possible for people living under the same roof to have separate claims

IneedAsockamnesty · 13/08/2013 11:47

Where he keeps a toothbrush is irrelevant, where he sleeps is also irrelevant both are questions the dwp/ hmrc are not legally allowed to ask.

As are photos on Facebook of the two of them together they are only used in illness or disability related fraud cases

People on benefits are allowed to have casual relationships they are allowed to have sex even if the person they are doing it with is a former committed partner.

SofiaVagueara · 13/08/2013 11:56

I think it's really sad that they are caught up in system that does this to families. It's dreadful that a mother would, in an awful lot of cases, be financially better off by kicking out a working partner and depending on benefits instead. The system encourages families to break up and to be honest I don't really blame people who want to subvert this system.

Oxfam have said for years that the families most likely to be in poverty are the ones where one parent works, not those where the family depend upon benefits.

I've recently been made redundant and my husband works but not on a very high wage. I'm absolutely bricking it, our housing costs are so high we are going to be right on the breadline. Yet if I threw my OH out all my financial problems would be over, my rent and council tax would be paid, I would have more cash in my hand every week and wouldn't be expected to look for work.

Unfortunately I love him to much to kick him out, and he is far too good a father to deprive my son of.

But the system fucking sucks.

NotYoMomma · 13/08/2013 12:11

sorry I think that was why they got reported -think they actually got done as he paid some bills to help out

anyway they ended up moving in properly after that

kali110 · 13/08/2013 12:12

Sofia i agree with the last part yes the system does suck! Op dont feel bad. I know im going against the majority but i dont think you are wrong. It doesnt matter if she has good reasons for doing it shes still committing a crime and making it harder for genuine claims. Op i know you think all mn are now dishonest and turn the other cheek but that isnt true.
The poster who knows the house with cannabis. I used to think they werent ruining lives. I used to be happy go lucky. I smoked it for months and i changed into a complete depressed and suicidal.i know some friends who cant lice without the stuff, all money goes on it and to hell with their families. I no longer think it doesnt ruin lives. I thought it being classed as b drug was good idea. The only people i think it should be legalised for ids the terminally ill and for people with chronic pain.
Irony is if it was legalised i probably would be able to use it.

kali110 · 13/08/2013 12:13

That should be live and not lice

moanalot · 13/08/2013 12:48

Your not even sure they're committing fraud but you want to shop them. It wasn't long ago we had the MPs committing fraud on a grand scale and most of them actually got off with it. It wasn't a big deal when they got caught yet for the rest of us it's the crime of the century. If you want it on your conscience when their benefits are stopped go ahead, otherwise just mind your own business.

LozzaCro · 13/08/2013 12:54

I say report them. But before you do, you need to be extremely aware of what you are doing and the implications it can and will have. Also, make sure you are as certain as possible about this - not just report it on 'someone told me.' The cost of getting something like this investigated is high - so if it turns out they arent then you have in fact wasted a load of taxpayers money.

If you are grown up enough to do this kind of thing, you are grown up enough to accept the punishment. I dont see why I should be taxed for no good grabby people who fraudulently claim what they are very much NOT entitled to. It boils my p* to be honest.

NightScentedStock · 13/08/2013 12:56

Regardless of whether you agree with the OP or not, no need for the personal attacks on this thread.

98percentchocolate · 13/08/2013 13:02

The nay sayers here evidently have a few low level crimes of their own that they think they have every right to commit and nobody else has a right to report.

Not true - I live completely within the law and if I committed a crime would expect to be reported for it with evidence. The op doesn't have this, just gossip from MIL and a couple of pictures of them on Facebook.

Jolleigh · 13/08/2013 13:39

If they're doing nothing wrong, nothing will come of the complaint. Even if the do stop benefit while investigating, one of them is on a good enough wage to tide them over.

KellyElly · 13/08/2013 13:41

I wouldn't tbh for the sake of the child. If the mother got prosecuted and sent to prison (not sure if this happens or not but wouldn't be willing to take the risk) it would be the child who would suffer. Rather than go about it in an underhand way why don't you tell them to their face that if this carries on you feel morally obliged to report them.

BlueButton3 · 13/08/2013 13:48

Not a lot of point. The local authority will ask if he's living there, they will deny it. The LA will ask for it in writing and that will be that.

BlehPukeVomit · 13/08/2013 13:57

If you defraud the benefits system you are not defrauding 'the government' you are depriving other people who have a legitimate need for the money.

It's a finite pot of money and every pound counts.

People who think that it is OK to steal money like this should be ashamed of themselves. Yes I judge!

(I am still not sure if I would dob anyone in though. I think I would and I know I should but I don't know if I could go through with it Sad )

burstingbaboon · 13/08/2013 14:11

I wouldn't report them no matter how frustrating is to
know that someone is abusing system . I believe that
everything has got the end and there will be price to be paid!
It's just me!!!!

98percentchocolate · 13/08/2013 15:02

Even if nothing comes of the complaint it'll still be months of wondering whether they will be sent to prison should they have made any mistakes in paperwork (even if completely innocent he may have paid a bill which would count against them). Even if cleared of any wrong doing this will completely destroy their trust in everybody and all their relationships will suffer. If it gets back to the family that it was op then could rip her family apart - innocent or guilty.
If there was more evidence then the op should absolutely report, but this is a serious crime with a potentially serious punishment and there just isn't enough evidence to report right now.

sashh · 13/08/2013 15:37

Apparently he stays at mil once a week as she is claiming benefits as a single mother

Is that MIL or SIL claiming as single?

If it is SIL then he needs to be away at least 4 nights a week. The DSS do check, they look for things like a tooth brushes.

I'd tell them to declare because they will be found out fairly soon.

NotYoMomma · 13/08/2013 16:17

for God sake people!!! jails are overcrowded, they are not going to put them in jail for something so low level and not been happening long!

IneedAsockamnesty · 13/08/2013 17:43

Sashh,

There is not rule on nights he's allowed to be there or amount of nights he's not. He could be formally living under the same roof but not classed as 'living together as a couple" what matters is what happens when he is there and how they conduct themselves.

The dwp/hmrc are not actually allowed to ask to look around your house they are even told not to ask to use the loo just incase they form an opinion on things they see in the bathroom.

If you offer to show them then they can form an assumption and use things they see but they can't ask nor can they lead you into offering and if they do form an assumption its still only an assumption.

GameSetAndMatch · 13/08/2013 18:12

Op if youre sure about it then i would. this is why people get away with things because of fear. you can report anonymously.

as for 'the sake of their child'. well, if they ARE caught being frauds then they should have thought about the child in the 1st place and not done it.

MistressDeeCee · 13/08/2013 19:00

Im extremely grateful for my family..after reading all this I feel like going around and hugging them all right now! I know if I did anything wrong (god forbid) even if they had to come round and scream and shout the odds with me to tell me the error of my ways, whether I liked it or not, then thats what theyd do. There'd be no sneaky underhanded maliciousness, just encouragement, insistence, threatening to report me themselves if I want to continue being so damn silly risking the welfare of my family...whatever.

I hope the OPs DP is happily in agreement if she's ever found out..then again she wont be found out will she - she'll hug her secret to herself giving DP & no other family member absolutely no chance to attempt to intervene and make bil & sil see sense before they get deeper into trouble. With family like that..who needs enemies, eh?

All this jumping up & down shock horror annoyance that everyone won't agree with her puts me in mind of malicious curtain twitcher folk Id run a mile from. Curtain twitchers dont always have their facts right either, despite spending a lot of empty time watching others & being adamantly sure they know all the facts of everything

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