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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report fraudulent benefit claimant

224 replies

racmun · 12/08/2013 22:22

So bil and SIL who have a 1 year old daughter have 'broken up'.

As a bit of background bil works but SIL is a SAHM. They were in private rented but it was costing too much so They broke up SIL and niece got housed and 4 days later they are back together and bil has moved in!

Apparently he stays at mil once a week as she is claiming benefits as a single mother (have no idea what difference this makes) and if the state finds out she'll lose her benefits. This is what mil has told us btw, I f

This has made me really furious and I'm inclined to report them for benefit fraud and let the authorities decide if they are doing anything illegal.

Or am I just being a bitch.

OP posts:
AhoyMcCoy · 12/08/2013 23:31

Just stay out of it and mind your own business. IF they are doing something wrong, it will catch up with them eventually. I wouldn't grass- you don't know what drives people to do things, stay out of it.

mignonette · 12/08/2013 23:34

It isn't as simple as how many nights they stay together. There has to be proof they are 'living as man and wife' including bills in the name of BIL, bank account evidence that he pays some of the bills and contributes to the running of the house.

Please do not do it. Speak to them about your belief that they may be breaking the rules but do you really, really want to visit this upon them? Why would you want to cause such upheaval? Nobody likes a grass, no matter what the moral principle is.

You seem to 'know' an awful lot that appears (through what you say earlier to be hearsay and gossip. Why not be upfront and ask them instead of bitching behind their back with MIL who herself is a bit disloyal talking about members of her family with you?

Bet your bottom dollar that she is discussing you with them too. Hope you are not living in a glass house because they will know it has come from you.

Might I suggest you get busy investigating the wealthy folk avoiding and evading millions of pounds worth of tax in the UK? Because quite clearly you are a very morally upstanding person who cannot bear to think that somebody is getting something you are not. Why stop at reporting just the one alleged crime?

BrokenSunglasses · 12/08/2013 23:35

Shock that so many people wouldn't say anything if they had a good reason to believe that someone was committing a crime.

Maybe I'm naive, but would people really just keep their nose out of it if they knew someone was stealing on a massive scale in any other way? What is it about benefit fraud that makes some people see it as an acceptable crime? It's not.

To me, worrying about 'being a grass' is pathetic. The only people who I have ever heard use the phrase in a derogatory way against someone who is committing a crime are people who regularly commit low level crimes themselves.

LucieLucie · 12/08/2013 23:36

YANBU op, I can't believe the attitude on here from the majority saying to mind your own business. It is dishonest, fraud and theft.

It is not okay, it's a criminal offence and one which someone would struggle to find decent employment after being convicted of.

It's everyone's business to report benefit fraud of any kind surely?

The government is in so much debt and could do without free loaders jumping on the bandwagon, stealing money they are not entitled to.

The government is clawing back benefits from elderly, sick and disabled people who do genuinely need benefits.

The benefits people do not disclose who informed them so you don't have to worry about "it coming back to bite you on the arse".

After a tip off They will look into all their financial arrangements as systems are becoming better linked and more information being shared between organisations.

Then they may find all the evidence they need....Wink

BrokenSunglasses · 12/08/2013 23:36

Meant reporting a crime in my last sentence there!

Original poster
racmun · 12/08/2013 23:39

Agree with broken sunglasses, is being honest actually seen as taking the moral high ground? Clearly on here it is.

As for Mil bitching about us, I'm sure she does but then we don't claim benefits and are not

OP posts:
mignonette · 12/08/2013 23:41

Broken it actuallly stems from school for a lot of people in the way that nobody likes a tell tale. Certainly my teachers looked very dimly on tell tales no matter the 'morality' behind it. it is ingrained in many. The truth comes out in the end.

Do people really think that eliminating benefit fraud would cause this government to start paying more benefits to the sick/elderly and jobless deserving? Yeah, right.

ShellyBoobs · 12/08/2013 23:42

What is it about benefit fraud that makes some people see it as an acceptable crime? It's not.

It is in MN world.

There's no correlation between taxes paid in and benefits paid out.

Nope, not at all. Not even a tiny bit.

Public money appears as if by magic; I think it's pixies making it, or something.

In reality, who knows though? It certainly appears from somewhere without anyone having to do anything to create it.

Smile
IneedAsockamnesty · 12/08/2013 23:43

Whose got good reason to believe fraud is happening?

Nobody knows the nature of the relationship,nobody's had a conversation along the lines of "oh sil im fraudulently claiming"

All that has happened is mil has gossiped.

And why on earth would someone need to fake a split to get housed, single parents do not get priority over two parent households for housing

Original poster
racmun · 12/08/2013 23:43

...... Potentially doing so fraudulently.

Doesn't benefit fraud count for billions of £ every year? As for the sarcastic comment regarding multi nationals not paying their taxes etc, the legislation needs to be put in place to deal with the loop holes that exist. They aren't actually breaking the law as it stands!

The legislation does exist for benefit fraud but because I dare to suggest reporting someone for breaching that legislation , I'm called a grass!

OP posts:
Ouchmyhead · 12/08/2013 23:44

My SIL did this, I didn't say anything, 5 years later they've been caught out and are now being chased for 14k.

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2013 23:44

How well do you get on with them OP?

IneedAsockamnesty · 12/08/2013 23:45

Op why don't you ask her directly if she is. If the answer is yes then report her because then you do actually know.

LucieLucie · 12/08/2013 23:45

Most people have grown up and moved on from school.

Personally I would rather be a 'tell-tale' than a thief.

aturtlenamedmack · 12/08/2013 23:45

I wouldn't, it wouldn't sit right with me.
I feel more moral obligation towards my friends and family then towards the state and its agencies, therefore I could not see my friends or family struggle, even if the way that they were keeping their heads above water was immoral or illegal.
That's just me though.
Do whatever feels morally right to you.

HeySoulSister · 12/08/2013 23:45

Which ' single mother' benefits is she claiming op??

IneedAsockamnesty · 12/08/2013 23:47

The legislation does exist for benefit fraud but because I dare to suggest reporting someone for breaching that legislation , I'm called a grass

What legislation is she breaching and exactly how do you know she is, what do you think the criteria for being classed as living together is and how do you know they fit it?

BrokenSunglasses · 12/08/2013 23:48

Mignonette, this is changing in many schools nowadays. Lots of schools now have a 'telling policy', where children are actively encouraged to tell teachers about any behaviour they think is wrong.

Ime it does lead to children in the younger years telling staff about anything and everything while they learn about what is worth telling and what isn't, which can become tiresome, but it creates a much better culture in school where children value honesty and good behaviours. It's a shame that so many parents don't seem to have caught up yet though.

CorrineFoxworth · 12/08/2013 23:48

Does BIL work? And how much does he contribute to the household if anything?

mignonette · 12/08/2013 23:51

You are being spiteful if you do not bother to discuss it with them first. How can put it simply? They are your family.

That is what sticks in the craw. That your instinct is to report them. You give the game away with the 'or am I just being a bitch?' If you are being honest with yourself, I would guess that part of you is enjoying having this power over them. Gossiping with your MIL about other family members? You all sound charming.

BrokenSunglasses · 12/08/2013 23:51

If they aren't breaching any legislation, they haven't got anything to worry about.

Yes, I have read stories on here of people who have suffered because of false or incorrect reports, but that's just a price we have to pay for being lucky enough to have such a generous welfare state in the first place. We can't have it both ways.

BrokenSunglasses · 12/08/2013 23:52

That your instinct is to report them.

Erm, maybe that's because OP is an honest person whose first default is to do the right thing!

TheSecondComing · 12/08/2013 23:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mignonette · 12/08/2013 23:53

But you are not the thief are you Lucie? That argument makes no sense.

Original poster
racmun · 12/08/2013 23:58

I looked at the online reporting form earlier and one of the options is 'claiming to be single when living with a partner'.

I don't profess to be an expert in benefit claims all I'm going on is what MIL has said which wasn't said in a slagging off way more boastful than anything (strange) and from the .gov.uk website which would seem to indicate that there is some advantage in doing what I believe they are doing.

Bil does work full time, he told dh a year ago that he was on £25k so I'm guessing it may have gone up a bit.

I am honestly amazed at the reaction from this.
As I said earlier if they're all above board then I won 't have caused any harm and if they're not then they shouldn't be doing it and they'll be stopped.

OP posts: