To be ashamed of my house?

[Smoothcriminals]

I probably am being stupid more than anything, I hope I am being stupid. I mean how much would you judge somebody on their house?

I'm a single parent to one child and I live in a HA house. I do work by the way.

It's a nice house, it's no mansion but it's less than 15 years old, has a garden, the area isn't too bad, to put it one way it's one of the better council/HA properties. And I do feel very lucky and happy to rent my home in the current climate and have some security in my home.

But, everytime I go to friends houses, they have beautiful interiors and decorating and lovely expensive furniture, lovely kitchens and garden etc.

I've done my best to make my house nice by painting and buying what nice things I can, and I have managed to get some nice bits and pieces, and it's clean but everything is so basic.

Such as I've got really cheap basic flooring, and it's getting worn out now but I can't afford to replace it. My decorating and DIY skills aren't the best, the kitchen is old and tatty as HA only fit basic kitchens and unfortunately the previous tenants didn't look after it, so it was already tatty before I moved in. Some of the tiles around the bath are cracked, I can't do tiling and paying someone would be too expensive at the minute but HA won't replace them as it's cosmetic. Bathroom is a lovely size but it's all fitted rather strangely, so for example when you sit on the toilet the sink is right in your face, of course there's no shower, taps are all cracked but again HA won't replace as it's cosmetic.

Dc's room is nice but in my room I've got old furniture that's all falling apart.

The house just feels unloved, it's got so much potential but it needs money spending on it or someone who's really good at DIY. Even the garden has so much potential and this is something I could do, but because I'm working FT I feel as though I never get chance to put the hours in.

I don't want to bring anyone round because I feel embarrassed. I'm even worried that people might not want their kids playing with my dc if they see my house.

I know it shouldn't be like that, but people can be quite judgemental and materialistic. Plus I just get quite depressed because I'm in this great house and I feel as though it's almost going to waste.

It's a drag going to someone's house if they are very house proud. Especially if you have kids in two. As long as your sinks and loos are clean. Go for the uncluttererd look as much as possible, keep it simple and clean. I think that's nicer anyway.

My parents' house is like a bloody show home. You'd bever guess anyone lives there it is so cold and unwelcoming.

It is incredibly inhospitable and clinically cold and males yoy petrified of dropping anything on any of the beige surfaces.

I don't blame you for feeling this way. We are in ex-Council and I feel the same. It's probably one of the main reasons we have for wanting to move, with the exception that we have a tiny property also. My neighbours swear very badly and although our garden is large most days it sinks of weed drifting over from the neighbours. Not ideal for playdates! We just arrange to meet friends elsewhere. I am considering joining a family friendly gym or private club to meet people in and have a home from home. Well, until we can afford to move anyway.

This thread has made me think. Currently we live in scruffy house full of child-related crap, some of which I am painfully decluttering this summer as they are all actually grown up now. My fantasy when I retire is to live in a small, incredibly clean, warm, double glazed house with my piano, a woodburning stove ad a load of books, and to take a flamethrower to all my children's rubbish that is still in my house by then.

I am beginning to wondered if i would really enjoy it all that much after all, or if I should continue the chaotic look well into retirement.

A woman after my own heart beast

Your friends won't care what your house looks like.

I'm in the same boat as you but I own my house. I updated my bathroom and it needed tiling so I took advice from anyone who had any, borrowed a tile cutter from my colleague, watched hours and hours of youtube videos, read DIY books and internet and got cracking!! I tiled 2 and a quarter of the bathroom walls and the floor. It took me ages to do, because I wanted it to look as perfect as possible and even though I say so myself it looks great!! And I saved a fortune.

Give your tiling a go OP - its easier than it looks honestly. Its all in the preparation and did you know I was told the best surface to tile on is tile? So you tile over the existing tiles.

I now appreciate a mans love of power tools now. Good luck you can do it

My mum used to say this often when we were kids. We lived on a council estate and the lady next door was a pensioner living on her own with an immaculate house and garden - spent hours on it all.

One day, Mum said to her that she envied her beautiful house and garden and wished she could keep hers as nice.
Next door was amazed. She envied my mum her lived-in, welcoming home. "Who have I got now? Husband dead, kids moved on - it's a flipping museum and I've got nothing else to do!"

Mum's in the same position now. Next door died years ago, my dad's gone, too and we've all left home.

Mum's house and garden are immaculate...

Have a go OP - I tiled and decorated my last property... It wasn't brilliant but it was good enough

Few years (10!!) down the line and I've saved up enough to have bathroom tiled and hall, stairs & landing painted. Still looks lived in as have a cat, dog & child plus a long list of 'other' stuff that needs doing....
It never ends and it's part of the charm

I wouldn't judge you OP - no reasonable person would!

Springy :)

Hmmm. Not liking the museum thing... Perhaps I should plan for a more disgraceful old age....

I've not read all the thread, but I can totally sympathise. Although we do own our house, we bought it do do up and its taken us years (we've been there 11 years), but through one thing and another we had to stop renovations.

The house is by no means in an absolute state, but as soon as you open my front door, there is the manky, super nylon burghundy (now faded to a purple-ish) colour carpet that is cut off by 1 foot near the kitchen door so that it was easier for the tiler. Plaster on the hallway walls has slight cracks. We have not bedroom storage furniture, so there are hanging rails etc.

We do have the living room/dining room finished and DD's bedroom.

I too also worry about what others might think, but ultimately, I know in the back of my mind, that if they were true friends, they wouldn't judge, although I do still feel reluctant about inviting people over.