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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit miffed MIL bought my son age 3 to 4 clothes for his second birthday and my parents do not even get him a card

84 replies

Arnie123 · 12/08/2013 14:28

My son is a big lad and is on the 90th centile for his height but I got him to try on the trousers and he would have tripped over in them. It would have been nice for my parents to get him a card but in fairness to them I stopped all contact when my son was 9 months. My dad said he was going to put him in the main road and crawl in the traffic. I felt he posed a safeguarding risk. I do not know what to tell my son about why he has no grandparents on my side as he gets older. Such a shame really.

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 12/08/2013 14:32

You are being ridiculous.

You are upset that your parents didn't get him anything (even though you admit to cutting them out over a year ago), yet upset with those who did get him a gift.

Squitten · 12/08/2013 14:34

Well, if you have no contact with your parents then you shouldn't expect anything from them. What's wrong with your MIL buying him clothes?! He will grow into them one day you know...

BabsAndTheRu · 12/08/2013 14:36

Not really getting the point of this thread, your son will grow into those clothes, you put them away in a drawer until they fit. As for your parents, what did you expect, you cut contact. Was your dad serious when he said that or joking, just wondering.

redskyatnight · 12/08/2013 14:38

No idea why you'd expct a present/card from someone you have no contact with.

I think it's reasonable to buy a "size up" for a big child - I would have done the same as your in-laws. I sense that if they'd bought him a size 2-3 you would be complaining that he would be growing out of them soon.

nowwhere · 12/08/2013 14:38

I think your MIL's gift sounds thoughtful, actually. She knows he's big for his age so she got him the next size up. It really is difficult to visualise when you are in the shop what size the child is, even if they are your own! And surely it's better than getting too small.

I can see why this brings home the situation with your parents though. Thatbis sad but just try and cultivate the relationship with the grandparents he does have

KellyElly · 12/08/2013 14:39

If you have cut contact with your parents it's better that they have no contact as your son will just see this as normal instead of you explaining presents and cards from people he doesn't know/see. RE the clothes you are being a bit silly, just go and change them for goodness sake! That's a non issue.

kelda · 12/08/2013 14:40

I think you should say thank you to your mil and be genuinely grateful for the present, because it is a good present. Concentrate on maintaining a good relationship with her, especially as you don't want contact with your own family.

softlysoftly · 12/08/2013 14:40

Everyone buys a size up don't they? Makes sure they won't go to waste as they will either fit or be grown into.

But no op you just concentrate on convincing yourself your pil think you're baby is fat Hmm

conantg · 12/08/2013 14:42

Sensible of the inlaws to buy larger size if he is so big. He will soon grow into them. Meantime why not turn the trouser legs up twice and iron them like that. You cut contact with your parents, so what did you expect? YABVVU.

ImperialBlether · 12/08/2013 14:42

I agree you should thank your MIL then either hold onto the clothes or take them back and get smaller ones.

It's really hard to buy clothes that fit properly for small children.

Your father sounds really awful and I'm really glad you've cut your parents out. Time to worry if they DO send a card, because then you'll have to worry about them wanting to meet him.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 12/08/2013 14:43

There are some very odd thread all over the place at the moment.

It's very odd! Hmm

softlysoftly · 12/08/2013 14:43

Your not you're!

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/08/2013 14:43

Can I have your MIL? My 2 yo is big and forever getting clothes bought that she is already too big for. MIL sounds thoughtful.

youmeatsix · 12/08/2013 14:44

i always buy clothes bigger for children when buying presents, as i am sure they will have plenty clothes to fit them now, and some people buy the size that fits, so they will have more than enough

FannyFifer · 12/08/2013 14:44

Just turn trousers up if too long, no big deal.

ShatnersBassoon · 12/08/2013 14:45

Your MIL has done nothing wrong. You're being silly and ungrateful. You could either swap the clothes, or put them away for when he's grown into them. Don't rock the boat over something so unimportant.

I'm not sure if your parents sending a card would have pleased you. They're not contacting you, which is what you want, so be happy/resigned that they're respecting that.

ComposHat · 12/08/2013 14:46

you cut contact and you're now moaning they aren't making contact with you or your family?

odd.

EldritchCleavage · 12/08/2013 14:47

Don't be cross with your MIL. She has bought something he will be able to use, just not immediately.

kinkyfuckery · 12/08/2013 14:48

Did your parents get anything for your son before they were cut out? Did they get him anything for his 1st birthday despite contact being stopped? How often did they see him until he was 9 months?

Gruntfuttock · 12/08/2013 14:49

What a lovely, thoughtful and practical MIL you have.

thistlelicker · 12/08/2013 14:50

It sounds like your mil was being considerate and thoughtful! And you sound ungrateful!

As for your parents you chose to hve nothing to do with them? Your son has no relationship with them why should they spend money on a child they don't see an why on earth would u expect it? Op are you entitled?

heidihole · 12/08/2013 14:51

I always buy a size up. Especially if a child was 90th percentile!

JerseySpud · 12/08/2013 14:53

Your mil sounds like she is trying to help

Not quite sure why your parents would send a card if they have nothing to do with the child...

Odd thread.

SoupDragon · 12/08/2013 14:53

So, you cut off contact with your parents but are pissed off they didn't send a card and you are pissed off with your MIL who very sensibly bought your above average sized DS clothes to grow into...? That makes sense. Hmm

HaroldLloyd · 12/08/2013 14:57

I often get clothes that are too big for DS as presents, it's nice to have them in hand for when he grows.

YABVVU to be miffed.

Not sure what to say about your parents that all sounds very complicated.