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Original poster

To ask if you're with your soulmate?

89 replies

insummeritrains · 12/08/2013 13:42

I'll start by saying that I have a wonderful DH - he's steady, loving, kind, hard-working. He gave me my DC who are the best things that have ever happened to me and who I would give up my life for in an instant. I love my DH.

Once upon a time, though, before DH there was someone else. Nothing ever happened, not so much as a snog but I had the strongest feeling that I had met my soulmate. I'm a realist, not usually woo or a dreamer but I felt such a strong connection. There were various reasons why we couldn't give it a go and I thought I'd put him to the back of my mind however, recently I've dreamt about us being together and it's freaking me out.

There's nothing I can do, or want to do about it but I do wonder why I'm having these dreams. Has anyone else experienced similar and how did you deal with it?

OP posts:
BinksToEnlightenment · 12/08/2013 13:45

I've had more than one supposed soulmate and I'm not with any of them now. It's more like hard work and good luck than there being one right person on earth for you.

DidoTheDodo · 12/08/2013 13:47

No I am with my H, a wonderful caring man.

My soulmate turned out to be a right tosser.

thebody · 12/08/2013 13:47

many people can have many soul mates I think not just the one.

Tee2072 · 12/08/2013 13:49

Yes, I am.

Sallystyle · 12/08/2013 13:52

I think soulmates are made! I don't really believe in the concept that there is only one person out there for us, because it seems funny that everyones soul mate lives right near to them Grin

I am with a man I adore and love to bits, one I still often get butterflies over and sometimes want to strangle! I couldn't imagine life without him.

ToysRLuv · 12/08/2013 14:00

I am. I think Grin

livinginwonderland · 12/08/2013 14:03

I think you make your soulmate. You can have a connection, but unless both people are willing to work hard, your relationship will fail. I believe my partner and I are soulmates, but I also believe that if he died tomorrow, I could eventually have a similar connection with someone else in a few years time.

Nancy66 · 12/08/2013 14:04

I hate the expressions 'soul mate' and don't believe there is one perfect person out there for us.

AnyOldFucker · 12/08/2013 14:07

I don't really believe in the idea of "soul mates"

I think there are many people in this world we could make a connection with

Imagine, if my one and only true soulmate was an Eskimo living in the North Pole and I were never to meet him (as seems likely)

would my life be somehow lacking ?

Thurlow · 12/08/2013 14:08

I don't believe in the concept of a soulmate, or even "the one".

You meet someone, you fall in love, but it takes hard work and effort to make a relationship last. You will both change as the years go by and your situation changes. Hopefully you are both committed enough and in love enough to make your relationship work through these changes.

Plus, if there was a "one" for everyone - really, what are the odds of that person just happening to go to the same university, workplace, bar as you?!

ToysRLuv · 12/08/2013 14:10

I don't believe in the "one" either. I believe you can have many "soul mates".

ToysRLuv · 12/08/2013 14:13

I guess what I understand by soul mate is someone who gets you and had the same interests. Is on the same page with you and has a similar attitude to life, similar values, etc..

MickeyMouseHasGrownUpACow · 12/08/2013 14:16

I think so. Although I am the last person I thought would use all the clichés around it.

I met him on the other side of the world at 22, knew him for 4 weeks and then came back to the UK with no real prospect of him following. I did 'just know' he was 'the one' and we'd make it work somehow. 16 years and 2 dc later we seem to be.

We have the usual ups and downs and we've had some very hard times but essentially we share the same values, hopes and dreams and love each other.

Caster8 · 12/08/2013 14:26

Same as AnyOldFucker.
Am I with the right man for me however, yes I am.

Squitten · 12/08/2013 14:32

I don't really believe in soul mates as such. I don't believe there is any one person out there who is perfectly suited to me exactly. I certainly think I have a very good partner who I have a great life with, great father for my children, etc. We are opposites in many ways but we compliment each other and have the same attitude towards all the important bits of life.

I also don't believe that dreams are in any way significant other than as an indicator of stuff rattling around in your head, consciously or sub-consciously. I wouldn't read anything into it.

MangoJuiceAddict · 12/08/2013 14:36

I don't know, I guess if DH was my soulmate I would 'know'. We do have our differences and he has hurt me a lot in the past but I love him and I think we'll always be together.

SoldAtAuction · 12/08/2013 14:45

I didn't believe in soul mates or the one until I met DH. We both felt an instant bond, it was like finding someone I had already loved forever.
I know if he died tomorrow, I could go on, I could love another, and be happy, but it wouldn't be the same.
That is not so say DH is perfect, we have our moments like anyone else!

KellyElly · 12/08/2013 14:45

Yes, myself, I am single and my perfect match Grin

AnyOldFucker · 12/08/2013 14:46

I have been married to the right man for the last 20 years

if he did something to fuck it up though, he would be out the door tomorrow

"soul mates" shite has a lot to answer for...

tomatoplantproject · 12/08/2013 14:48

I don't believe that there is just one person out there. However dh is pretty perfect and I honestly have never met anyone in years and years of dating who has come close.

quoteunquote · 12/08/2013 14:50

Definitely, we are very lucky.

Lottapianos · 12/08/2013 14:53

"soul mates" shite has a lot to answer for...

Quite agree. My DP is lovely, thoughtful, gentle, funny, considerate. Just yesterday I was thinking that I'm not sure how I would manage without him. However he is not my 'soul mate' or my 'other half' or my 'destiny' or any of that stuff. We really like and love each other, we work well together, we have had great times and seriously crap times. We both work hard at our relationship (could work harder to be honest) and there is nothing magical about any of it.

Good for you KellyElly Smile This 'soulmates' stuff is patronising to people in couples, but seriously offensive to people who are single. Are you somehow not a real or whole person, because you haven't met your 'soulmate'? Hmm

Parmarella · 12/08/2013 14:57

This person in your past is perfect in your mind, because you never had to have conversations like:

" why did you just give DC biscuits if you KNOW it is tea time in a minute? What is the point of me cooking this meal now they won't eat it.?! Bloody moron!" ....yet 5 mins later all is forgiven

Or

" i thought you said YOU were going to buy more diapers"

Or

" I lve your mum, but she has been her three times this week, I just want a night on our own!"

Or
" can you hold him whilst I go to the toilet?! can you put the bins out whilst I hoover? Can you give me a hand with the dishes? actually, could you do the dishes, actually, why do I even need to ask this? Why is everything my job?!"

Yet you still can laugh at the same things and forgive and forget the humdrum of daiy life.... THAT is romance, not sipping martinis on a beach with someone who is essentially a stranger.....attractive as that sounds Wink

motherinferior · 12/08/2013 15:02

My BIL is single because he hasn't met 'the one' - you know, that moment straight from the off when you 'just know'. He is 38. He seems to go along with this idea of a soulmate to Complete Him.

Meanwhile the rest of us, having outgrown the idea of a soulmate, get on with our kids and lives and partners and generally live.

squoosh · 12/08/2013 15:05

True but your BIL is right not to settle down with someone if his heart isn't in it. I can't imagine anything worse than being someone's 'she'll do I suppose'.