To ask if you're with your soulmate?

[insummeritrains]

I'll start by saying that I have a wonderful DH - he's steady, loving, kind, hard-working. He gave me my DC who are the best things that have ever happened to me and who I would give up my life for in an instant. I love my DH.

Once upon a time, though, before DH there was someone else. Nothing ever happened, not so much as a snog but I had the strongest feeling that I had met my soulmate. I'm a realist, not usually woo or a dreamer but I felt such a strong connection. There were various reasons why we couldn't give it a go and I thought I'd put him to the back of my mind however, recently I've dreamt about us being together and it's freaking me out.

There's nothing I can do, or want to do about it but I do wonder why I'm having these dreams. Has anyone else experienced similar and how did you deal with it?

I'm not sure I believe in soulmates, that's there's just one person for each of us. But I am married to the most wonderful man, who loves and supports me, and I him. After 12 years my heart still leaps. We've grown together and our personalities have changed together. We are perfect together. But I am not naive enough to think that if something happened to either of us that we would but have another partner. I'm also acutely aware that if I for one second take our love for granted (ie soulmates forever) then it may all change.

No, because my soulmate is a straight girl. I am married to my very best friend though. Not bad.

Oh, I'm sure if I'd stayed with someone I'd met at 18 I'd have convinced myself we were soulmates. It's when you realise that actually you survive something you thought was unthinkable and that in fact you have become perfectly happy with someone else and even that your first One And Only would never have made it possible for you to be the person or do the things you do now that you realise it's all bollocks.

I am not sure I believe in soul mates but I do believe that you can only build a very special bond with just a few others. The type of relationship where if they were to leave your life you would be inconsolable; they become part of your reason for living and at the same time make you so grateful for being alive, and to have been lucky enough to have met them.

This being does not necessarily have to be your partner, but could be a friend, family member or some other.

I had this type of relationship once (not a partner). I was her biggest fan, and she was mine. It kills me every day that she is no longer in my life. She was perfect, and I loved her.

Technically for each person there are 1000 'soulmates' and it just depends on who and where you meet them

Only a thousand? In the whole world?

I'm interested in how "technically" comes into it.

Why 1,000?

If I was born in 1800 when the world's population was 1 billion rather than 7 billion, was it also 1,000? Or was it only 143 (1,000/7)? So were people more compatible back then?

My husband isn't my solemate. I met my now husband when I was in my teens (and so naive) he was a 'good man' so I jumped at the chance to get a good 'un. Totally incompatible but I'm still here I suppose!

My soul mate is someone entirely different from my husband, the total opposite.

I love that there are exactly 1000 perfect men out there for me. If they could be rounded up into one pub this Friday evening it would be much appreciated.

Mathematically then... But every person you go out with may have been a soul mate

IME people who have described someone as their soulmate are cl

FFS!

...clinging on to a broken relationship and have the object of their affections on an undeserved pedestal.

OP there's a novel by Nicci Gerrard called Things We Knew Were True about a woman who acts on dreams a bit like yours. Might be worth a read? Resonated with me, for years I was haunted by what ifs about my first really intense relationship, but I've now laid those demons to rest.

Love the Tim Minchin song (as will DH... We are such a pair of romantics!!)

I'm tempted to say yes, but I'm aware I once thought someone else was my soulmate (it turned out he was a total cock). I am sure that dp is my perfect partner, he is very kind and we live a life that makes me very happy. I'm less sure I'm his perfect partner, I am a grumpy sod.